Never The Normality
by Delilah Wigglesworth
Summary: FINISHED SO STOP ASKING ME TO UPDATE, FOOLS When two new ghosts arrive on the scene, the PaulSuzeJesse love triangle gets bigger and more dangerous
1. Graveyard Shift

Disclaimer: there is no need to rub it in, I do not own the wonderful mediator stories written by the wonderful Meg Cabot/Jenny Carroll or the characters (I want Paul – he is hot drools)  
  
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It was dark by the time Jesse finished kissing me.  
  
But I could feel myself glowing I was so happy that I bet I was giving off the same amount of light Jesse was. When we finally came up for air we just looked at each other. A huge goofy grin plastered on each of our faces. If someone walked by, they would undoubtedly be calling the mental asylum, seeing me on my own grinning at nothing with my cherry lip gloss smeared all over my face.  
  
I was busy staring at his lips thinking how nice it would be to be glued onto them when Jesse broke my trance by talking. I tried to follow his lips with my eyes but he kept on talking and it was making me dizzy, so I was forced to look him in the eyes.  
  
Not that I'm complaining.  
  
"Querida, I think it's time for you to go home. It is dark and you have school tomorrow." He whispered huskily. A tingled went down to my toes.  
  
"Just a few more minutes..." I whined. I sounded like a spoilt kid with a new toy. Oh well. Jesse just smiled and lowered his head towards mine then wrapped his arms around my body. I crossed my hands behind his neck then ran them through his hair.  
  
It was heaven.  
  
And it was yummy.  
  
This time I was the one who broke apart. If I didn't now, who knows if I ever would have? And I sure didn't want to go further than kissing in a graveyard, that's just creepy.  
  
"I really...oughta...better be going now. You know. Home. School. Sleep," I sighed then added, "dreams." Jesse let out a little groan.  
  
"Just a few more minutes, querida," he whispered in a very unadulterated voice, if you know what I mean. My knees gave way. But I remained strong. I took Jesse's hand and we walked down the path to the main road. With one last smile at me, he gave me a kiss on the forehead then shimmered away.  
  
Now I was alone I could finally show my emotions. And okay, maybe I could have been a little more dignified about it, but come on. My heart was literally singing. I jumped about madly on the pavement screaming and laughing hysterically with my arms waving about manically. Several people crossed the other side of the road, but what did I care?  
  
HE LOVED ME!!!! WHOOPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Suddenly a car pulled up beside me. I didn't notice but when I heard my mother's voice say "Susie?" in an extremely worried tone, I jumped about a mile and a half in the air...and into a bush. I yelped then jumped back up, quickly checking for any poison ivy I could've sat on.  
  
"Jeez mom, try and kill me why don't you," I said, a little annoyed that my happy dance had been so rudely interrupted.  
  
"Sorry, honey. What...ahem, what were you doing?" She asked warily.  
  
"Oh, urm, I was just happy because...because...oh, because me and CeeCee sold so many cannoli and made lots of money." Wow, I never realised just how much of a loser I could make myself.  
  
"That's...that's great, honey. Want a ride home?"  
  
She may think I'm mad but she is still my mom.  
  
"That would be great, thanks."  
  
It was only as I was lying in bed, a huge grin threatening to break my face in half, that I realised I actually had nothing to be smiling about. Sure, Jesse loved me and I loved him, but, unless I played my cards right, he could soon be gone forever. And what's worse, I had to face this threat tomorrow at school. I would have to face Paul tomorrow...  
  
A/N: this is my first mediator story! And it will get more interesting I SWEAR. So please review my chickies!!! 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter: 2  
  
Disclaimer: I wish I did own the stories...but I don't. Meg Cabot does. Worship her. Now. And also read my stories...please...  
  
A/N: Please review, little beans. It will get more interesting and there will be more action...as soon as I start writing...  
  
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I don't know why I'm so nervous. I'm twitching about like a...like a...well I dunno what I'm like, but I sure as hell am twitchy. I woke up about half an hour early (it's a big enough fiat for me to get up on time, let alone early) and laid in bed, fidgeting profusely.  
  
Eventually I got up, had breakfast, spent a long time getting dressed, then spent a long time styling my hair, then spent a long time doing my make up. And I was still early!  
  
I was happy...yet every time I caught myself smiling I quickly stopped and grew incredibly nervous. And I knew who was making me feel so nervous: Paul Slater. Or as I like to call him: Spawn of Satan.  
  
Because that is what he is.  
  
The Devil's child.  
  
Just as I had gotten over being scared by him, he sexually harasses me, gets into a fistfight with my boyfriend, then his own grandpa warns me against him. His own family thinks he is bad news.  
  
Not that I needed his family to tell me that.  
  
When Dopey came downstairs, he did a double take to see me sitting at the kitchen table reading the cereal box.  
  
"Oh my God. I'm dreaming. Suze is ready before we're meant to leave? Oh. My. God. What's going on? What's- oof!" His speech was a little tiresome, don't you think? So, I sucker punched him. David walked in just as Dopey was writhing on the floor.  
  
"Suze, as much as I enjoy the sight of Brad in pain as a source of vengeance, I just want to make it aware that continuous physical damage - especially to the specific gut region – could cause later permanent damage which in turn could affect his life, and not in a good way," Doc informed me helpfully. Not.  
  
"Yeah, so you better stop," groaned Dopey, with a smirk on his ugly face.  
  
"On the contrary, Brad," he continued, looking at Dopey as if he were nuts, "I'm just telling Suze that, in order to be saved later potential compensation claims, or worse, from the injured Brad, you may want to vary you points of contact when you hit him. Such as the head, or groin."  
  
Dopey and I both looked at Brad in astonishment.  
  
"Thanks, David," I said. Dopey just glowered.  
  
We got to school, on time, and queued for assembly. Sister Ernestine was more than shocked. I smirked at her - for once; she had no reason to punish me. Today was a good day. I was calmly ignoring all the weird looks people were throwing at me. They all thought I was on drugs after seeing my spectacle at the party. Oh well, anything's better than the truth.  
  
Paul walked into Juniper High and back into my thoughts. His mouth widened into a leer. Just as he was about to make his way to me, we were told to go into assembly. I was furious at Father Dom, too. It's because of him that Paul isn't suspended and off school. Apparently Father D thought that mediating was getting Paul stressed and Paul had just snapped. Yeah, and Pavaroti looks good in a bikini. Like Paul ever even tried to help a lost soul. He just made them his minions.  
  
In homeroom, I managed to avoid him too. CeeCee was having a go at me for disappearing suddenly and Adam was commenting on how nice I looked today. I was wearing a khaki mini skirt and a black scoop vest that let two inches of my flat stomach show.  
  
I did look good, but then again, I did try. I spent a long time choosing an outfit that looked good, but that also wouldn't be prohibiting if I needed to kick some Paul-butt.  
  
So, I managed to avoid Paul for half the day, but lunch was coming up and I couldn't think of ways to avoid him then. I needed lunch, OK? I like to eat. And I need energy. I was wandering down the corridor on my way to lunch – CeeCee was at the library and Adam was already eating – when an arm grabbed my waist and tugged me into an empty classroom.  
  
"Hey good-lookin', what's cookin'?" Goosebumps flooded my skin.  
  
"Paul." 


	3. Full Frontal Attack

Disclaimer: I no own mediator series.  
  
A/N: thank u for reviewing muzacgirl!!! Seriously, I was rele nervous and you rock!  
  
Hope you enjoy!!  
  
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He just grinned and leaned in closer to me, his breath tickling me cheek and freezing my insides. His icy blue eyes were sparkling and his breath smelt of toothpaste. I'd forgotten how scared of him I was until he was right in front of me. Leaving me with no escape.  
  
"So...you haven't forgotten our lessons, I hope? I would hate to be forced to do something like, oh I don't know, exorcise your boyfriend." I winced. He had me. He had me right where he wanted me. And he knew it.  
  
"I'll be there," I said shortly. I wanted – needed – to get away. Paul leaned in even closer, his grin widening and is hands moving to either side of my head, trapping me against the classroom door. I suddenly went from very cold to very hot.  
  
"My house, at 7pm. I'll cook us some dinner, we can make sparkling conversation...and then go on from there," one of his hands had moved down so it was grazing my arm. My whole body went rigid and burnt as though on fire. I pursed my lips to stop from groaning. I had to get out of there...before I did I something I'd regret.  
  
"Don't you dare get any ideas. You will have me for one hour-" I winced as soon as the words left my mouth. Paul just stepped even closer into me, if it was possible, and smirked even more, flashing his brilliantly white politician's smile. I was waiting for fangs to suddenly shoot out. "-in which you can tell me as much as you know about shifting. And that's it. Nothing else. And we will not be going up to your bedroom!" I added accusingly. Paul chuckled softly.  
  
"Oh come on, Suze. It'll be just the two of us. Just like last time. Jesse doesn't have to know," I scowled at him and whispered quickly, "I love Jesse, Paul. Nothing will change that. Nothing." Paul glared at that and stepped back. He looked away and I let out my breath. I hadn't even realised I'd been holding it. Man, I was getting hot. And hungry, too. Like I said, I needed my lunch and Paul was wasting it. My mood was turning foul and I my arms were twitching to take a swing at Paul's perfect, Calvin- Klein-model face.  
  
Paul turned his head back to me, his composure regained. The angry glint in his eye, gone. I had to admit; he was incredibly good looking. Shame he was so incredibly evil, too.  
  
"Su-uze," he said it in a sickly singsong voice.  
  
OK, now I know I was asking for it, but I was curious and I just wanted to get away from him, so I thought if I let him say what he had to say, then I could go and still eat my lunch. I should've just kicked him in the family jewels, like I've done so many times before, and run. But I didn't. And it turned out Paul didn't have very much to say.  
  
"What?" I snapped. It really was hot. My whole body was prickling with sweat and I was beginning to feel slightly claustrophobic.  
  
That's when Paul attacked.  
  
Not literally. But just as bad. In fact, worse.  
  
His body slammed me to the door and his mouth crushed into me. I was getting a big sense of déjà vu...  
  
"No, don't. Paul! Stop it!" I shrieked.  
  
Well, at least that's what I tried to say. What actually came out was: "O, bont. 'Aul! 'Op i'!" I tried to push him off me. I placed my hands firmly on his chest and heaved with all my might. But his body weight had other ideas - like pinning me against that door.  
  
See what I mean? Spawn of Satan. And a very good kisser.  
  
Trouble is, now his mouth was in action, other parts of his anatomy were beginning to try and get some too...  
  
OK, OK, don't get all excited! I'm talking about his hands. Although, now that I mention it...  
  
Okay, no. That is just wrong. I love Jesse. I love Jesse. I hope he was going to visit me today. I could kill for one of those spine-tingling, melt- me-into-a-pile-of-goo, heart-racing kisses. Yum-MY. But first, I had to get rid of Paul. Speaking of which...  
  
His hands had gone from gripping my arms to gripping my waist. What did he think I was? A sack of potatoes or something he could just grapple? I started squirming, trying to get away from his large, tendony hands. I remembered them when they were around Jesse's throat and shuddered. I turned my head away and really started pushing Paul, anything to get some fresh air. Then I started to push him some more.  
  
But Paul's legs just locked themselves between mine so he had better balance. I regretted wearing my short skirt and cropped top. This guy really was unstoppable. When was he going to give up? Did he not get the picture? I mean, how many times had I hurt him because he made a move on me?  
  
This time was way unfair, though, Paul hadn't even given me a chance to pound him before he pounced on me!  
  
After wriggling about manically (I felt like I was doing some kind of freaky tribal dance) and trying to raise my knee up high enough to really hurt Paul, I was reaching boiling point I was so hot. And my throat was getting dry from screaming angrily into his mouth.  
  
"Ge' da hell off 'e, oo fweak! I 'wear 'o God, I am gonna kill oo! LET 'E GO!!!"  
  
But seriously, this guy was like a leech. I even tried biting him but all that did was make him more turned on...EW  
  
He did let me go eventually, though...yeah, after I karate chopped him in the larynx. He fell back, choking and clutching his throat. I relaxed. And then my rage kicked in.  
  
"You are such a jerk! I mean seriously! You know I love Jesse, you are just a vindictive, conniving, desperate freak with only one thing on his mind. If you want that, go out with Kelly Prescott or Debbie Manicuso or something!" I was pacing up and down, flailing my arms wildly and giving him the old hairy eyeball.  
  
He couldn't respond though because of all the coughing and choking he was doing. I stood still, hands on my hips waiting for him to recover so I could kick his satanic butt some more. Boy, was I mad now. And thirsty. I considered nipping down the hall to the drinks fountain for a quick sip and then coming back to do some damage.  
  
Then, thank God, someone entered the classroom.  
  
I say thank God, but as soon as I saw who it was, I instantly wished it was some body else... 


	4. Ghosty Boys

Disclaimer: I own none of the mediator stuff. I just write my own stuff.  
  
A/N: See? It IS getting more interesting! And this new ghost will be lotsa trouble, just you wait and see...MOOWAHHAHAHAA * backs away slowly *  
  
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"Querida, I've been looking all over for you," he smiled as he materialised. He heard the distant choking and turned to the noise. His face instantly darkened. "What are you doing here, Slater?"  
  
Paul was too busy trying to breathe so I kindly answered for him.  
  
"Oh, erm, he was just having lunch and started choking on a piece of food. I heard him and came in to see what was going on. Then you arrived. As soon as I entered the classroom. A split second after. As soon as I stepped into the room," I was babbling. But I couldn't let Jesse know that I had made a bargain for his life. If he ever found out about my lessons with Paul, he would be furious. Strike that - he would be murderous.  
  
So I was willing to lie about them. And if Paul decided to spill the beans on what we were discussing, then I would spill the beans on what Paul was doing to me. And we both know Jesse is willing to let do some serious damage to Paul.  
  
Jesse walked over to me and put a protective arm around my waist. I beamed up at him. Paul finally stopped choking and glowered at Jesse. I swear to God their eyes were burning red as they met. I felt like I belonged in a movie. Two hot guys, one gorgeous girl. Come on, I'm not exactly a dog! Give a girl a break. So, yeah, it was every girl's dream. But then I saw their clenched fists and jumping jaw muscles and I decided to make my move before they began ripping each other's guts out. Well, seeing as Jesse has no guts, Paul would probably be...oh never mind. Basically, they would both get hurt, unless I stepped in, and fast.  
  
"Well, it was nice trying to save you, Paul, but Jesse and I would really appreciate some alone time now," I said happily. With a smile that said, 'Don't even try to stay because we will both kick your ass'. Paul stood up, glared at Jesse, who in turn scowled back, briefly glanced at me, and then stormed out of the classroom.  
  
I turned to Jesse who was still scowling at the closed door.  
  
"I don't trust him, querida," he said, looking down at me with those big, brown eyes of his. I resisted the urge to jump at him and cling to him like one of those howler monkeys you see holding onto their moms.  
  
"Well duh, Jesse. Of course you don't trust him. He tried to exorcize you then beat you up. Any sane person wouldn't trust him." There was a slight breeze coming through the classroom window and it was tugging at his shirt, you know, the one that opens down to there. Jesse brought my gaze from his washboard abs up to his face when he started to speak. I stared at that even harder. How could anybody so perfect have reason to be murdered?  
  
"Querida, I just came from Father Dominic's," Jesse had a smile, tugging at his lips. A sure sign he knew something and was desperately trying to not let it burst out.  
  
"Cool," I said unenthusiastically. This was obviously not how Jess had wanted me to respond and he frowned with frustration. I laughed at his face. He is so adorable!  
  
"Fine, fine. And what did Father Dominic have to say Jesse? Please, do tell, I'm just dying to know," I gushed in a very false girly voice.  
  
"If you're going to be like that, Susannah..." He pouted.  
  
I sighed gustily. All I wanted to do was throw myself at him; did he really think I cared what Father D had to say, about anything?  
  
"Fine, Jesse. What did Father Dom have to say to you?"  
  
"He's agreed to me moving back in with you," now Jesse's smile was evident. It was big and full of joy. My heart stopped.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"He said it would be good for me to protect you from Paul, in case he tried to hurt you again," explained Jesse. Okay, now I really thought I was going to burst, I was so excited. Instead I screamed and threw my arms round his neck.  
  
Just as Jesse was leaning in to give me a full-on kiss, a glimmer from the corner of the classroom caught both of our attention. Great.  
  
It was a ghost. A cute seventeen year old guy from my period of time. I would've been excited about making the acquaintance of someone this buff if I hadn't known that, as long as I was mediating him, Jesse was going to be in a big stressy. He gets jealous easily. Which, although extremely flattering, can be very irritating. The ghost looked pretty uncomfortable at his sudden appearance. And why shouldn't he? He was faced with me clinging to an 18th century cowboy (sorry Jesse, but that is what you look like) with my lips fully pouted ready for a snog-a-roony.  
  
"Um, hey. Are-are you the mediator?" He asked, eyeing us warily. I sighed and climbed down from Jesse. I was about to ask him if he could come back later, but I guess Jesse saw my scowl and nudged me. Great, now I had to be polite.  
  
"Yes, yes I am. My name is Suze and I will be your mediator for your ghost days. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me, and I will be happy to answer them for you. Now, how may I help?" I said all this with a huge phoney smile plastered on my face with my teeth gritted.  
  
But the new ghost obviously found me a little bit funny – how could he not? – because he smiled and visibly relaxed.  
  
"Hey, my name's Sean and I'd like to move on to my afterlife or wherever it is I go." He had a nice smile.  
  
"Excellent. That's what I like to hear. So...how did you die?" No need to beat around the bush. Sean's smile shrank and he looked down quickly. He fidgeted with his hands and sat down on one of the desks.  
  
"I got shot. In a mall. This guy had just stolen this lady's purse and was running through the crowds. He started...he started firing random shots," Sean broke off and a single tear fell onto his shoes. I moved from Jesse's side and sat down next to Sean.  
  
"It's OK, don't worry. You can don't have to continue," I said, and stroked his arm gently. Sean looked up at me and I noticed his eyes were grey. They matched his shirt.  
  
"I was the only one to get hit. I-I jumped in front of my girlfriend. I didn't want her to get hurt. Good thing I did, eh?" His eyes searched mine, pleading me to agree. I smiled encouragingly and he gave me the briefest of one back.  
  
"I-I know she's blaming herself, I just want her to know...I don't blame her. It was my choice, I didn't want her to die. She has to know that. I'd do it again if I could." He paused and wiped his eyes. "My parents don't blame her. They treated as if she were their daughter," he gave a short laugh, "they were already planning our wedding, our kids' names. Now they don't have to bother." I put my arm around him and he leaned into me. I had tears in my eyes, it was so sweet.  
  
Then my damn school bell rang and everyone jumped about a foot in the air. Sean laughed and wiped his eyes again.  
  
"Susannah, why don't I take Sean to Father Dominic?" Jesse said. I'd forgotten he was even there.  
  
"Yeah, OK. I gotta get to class. Sean, we'll talk more tonight, OK? And, I'm sorry. About what's happened. I really am." Jesse gave me a brief shocked look, I don't blame him. I had never shown much sympathy to any ghost before. Sean just smiled and both he and Jesse dematerialised. I sighed and slid off the desk. Back to school...  
  
Whoopee. 


	5. Paul And His Big Mouth

Disclaimer: Bla bla bla I don't own the mediator series bla bla bla. Now ON with the reading!  
  
A/N: I would also like to say a HUGE GINORMOUS GIGANTIC TITANIC ENORMOUS thank you to NiceHayley – YOU KICK ASS! Seriously. (and Paul is soooo much better than Jesse, although I wouldn't turn Jesse down, if you know what I mean ;-P)  
  
NiceHayley – you rock  
  
And also, thank you to Marcus (who I like to call Margoose) for your, ah hem, helpful input...hahaha, no thank you little man.  
  
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After a gruelling day of schoolwork, dirty looks from Paul, and some very odd ones from CeeCee (I kept on spacing-out during lessons), I got into the car and waited for Dopey to stop chatting up Debbie so he could drive us home. Remind me to get my license. Finally he got in the car, a smug look on his ugly face.  
  
"When you've put your tongue back in your mouth I'd quite like to get home, please." I almost wished Sleepy hadn't left Junipero Serra Mission Academy for college.  
  
Almost.  
  
"Whatever, Suze." Dopey put on his seatbelt and was putting the key in the ignition when Debbie and Kelly walked past the front of the car and waved at us. Or Dopey, rather. He grinned and waved back, almost knocking me out by doing so.  
  
"Just promise me, Brad, promise me you'll practice safe sex and use a condom?" I said in a mock-serious voice and placed my hand on his arm. He knocked my hand off and scowled at me.  
  
"I could say the same for you, so just shuddup." Okay, now I was confused.  
  
"What are you going on about, you freak?"  
  
"You and Paul. Sneaking into classrooms together. You do realise this is a Catholic school, don't you?" We were just pulling out of the car park when Paul drove by. He blew a kiss at me as he passed. I went bright red.  
  
"I hate Paul Slater. I would never have sex with him. Let alone kiss him!" I was so gonna kill Paul.  
  
"That's not what I heard." What??? Oh my God, what the hell had Paul been saying? I tried to keep my cool and asked, "Oh? And what, pray tell, have you heard? And from whom?" Brad smirked at me.  
  
"I just hope you and Jesse aren't serious, if you're gonna go round having sex with other guys behind his back," Dopey leered. Except he didn't put it as politely as 'having sex'.  
  
Now my face was beetroot red. And David had stopped doing his homework to listen in to our conversation.  
  
"I am not having sex with Paul!"  
  
"Fine, fine. But he's certainly keen on you, if you know what I mean," he waggled his eyebrows. He really does disgust me.  
  
"I am so gonna kill him. I don't like Paul Slater. He is a sleazy, gross, mean...urm, urm..." What else was Paul?  
  
"Sex god?" Put in Brad helpfully. "Yes! Sex g- NO! No! Paul is definitely not a sex god! I-I-you-I-GRR!" I stuttered to an unconvincing end. I glared out of the window. Dopey was grinning and David was staring out of the windscreen.  
  
Paul was a dead man walking.  
  
As soon as I got home I stormed upstairs and threw myself on my bed. I lay there for a few seconds then roared and started pummelling my pillow. I stopped after a couple of minutes and buried my face into the pillow.  
  
"Susannah?" My body twitched but I stayed where I was.  
  
I felt the bed dip as Jesse sat down next to me.  
  
He started poking me in the belly.  
  
"Querida," he whispered in his silkiest voice, "what is wrong?" My spine tingled but I still stayed put.  
  
The bed moved and Jesse laid down next to me, his faced turned towards my buried one.  
  
"Querida, come on. Talk to me," he continued in his glossy voice.  
  
"Nuh uh," I said, swallowing some pillow as I did so.  
  
"If you don't tell me what's wrong, I may have to tickle you," Jesse teased. After I didn't respond, he did just that.  
  
And can I just say how annoying it is when someone tickles you when you're in a bad mood? And Jesse had managed to find my worst spot for tickling. I giggled uncontrollably and rolled over.  
  
"Aaaaargh! Jesse! Jesse, no! Jesse! Hahaha!" I was begging him to stop in between laughter. I screamed some more and Jesse rolled on top of me. Now this was interesting.  
  
"Hello, querida," he said in a perfectly normal voice. Is face was about an inch from mine.  
  
"Hello, my lovely." My lovely? What was that? Oh well, he seemed to like it, judging by the way he smiled and started butterfly kissing me. I could so get used to this. I put my arms round his neck and kissed him fully. He moved himself up slightly and I moved my hands down to his shoulders. Oh boy, could I get used to this. I smiled into the kiss and he did the same. He lifted himself off me slightly and rested on his elbows, toying with my hair.  
  
"Good day, querida?" An innocent enough question, but I scowled non-the- less.  
  
"Yeah, it was OK." Jesse gave me a very doubtful look, but didn't push it. A new thing for him, indeed. But then I found out why he didn't ask any more questions. He wasn't in the mood for talking.  
  
He smiled at me sank down onto me, and unlike Paul, his weight wasn't crushing me or making me feel vulnerable, like it did in Paul's bedroom. Jesse's weight was somehow comforting. And very sexy, I might add. We kissed for about five minutes when someone materialised in the room.  
  
"Oh, oh! I'm really sorry! I'll come back later. I'm really sorry!"  
  
Jesse and I both looked to see who it was just before he dematerialised. It was Sean. 


	6. Panic And Peace

Disclaimer: I only own the characters I make up...duh  
  
A/N: Merci beaucoup all my wonderful reviewers. I'm not even joking. You make me smiiiiiiiiile  
  
WriteWitRissa: You totally rock! And thanks for the tip on Anon Reviewers – I didn't realise I was casting a shadow onto them, you have helped make their lives a brighter place to live. You should feel proud. I honour you. Also...Sean may have a slight effect on Suze and Jesse...moowahahahaaa  
  
Alda Rethe: I like Sean too! Not as much as Paul though. I LOVE YOU PAUL.  
  
Man, I need a boyfriend  
  
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Once I pushed Jesse off me – and believe me, I had to push hard, he really didn't want to get off me – I brushed myself down and called Sean back. Jesse climbed off the bed and went to sit in his usual place – on the window seat where Spike had appeared.  
  
Sean re-materialised looking shy and embarrassed.  
  
"Uh, sorry 'bout that, Sean. So, um, was there anything, um, specific you needed?" I asked. I didn't want to give Sean the wrong impression – that I was an uncaring, unhelpful individual, because I'm not. Honestly. Well, I'm not to those I care about. And I didn't want him to think me and my boyfriend were sex-crazed either, seeing as both times he's visited me I've had my arms around Jesse in a passionate embrace. But can you really blame me? I mean, Jesse is hot and buff and he had just declared his undying love for me. Not in those exact words, but still.  
  
"Oh, oh no, not really. Just-just thought I'd drop by for a, you know, a little chat or something," he looked even more embarrassed by this but so pathetic I instantly melted. I sat back down on the bed and patted the space next to me.  
  
"Sure, that's fine. Chat is good. It's a lot better than most the visitors I get. Frankly, I'm beginning to feel a bit used," I said, half-joking. I mean most of it is true. Ghosts drop by, not even saying hello or how are you. Then, when I help them, it's like, yeah, thanks for the ride. At least Sean was polite.  
  
He came and plonked his cute butt next to mine then asked me how long I'd been a mediator for. What, did he think it was a hobby I suddenly took up, or something?  
  
We moved on from mediating to films to California to school and so on. In fact, we talked for about two hours non-stop before Andy called up to announce dinner was ready.  
  
"Wow, is that the time already?" I asked.  
  
"Oh wow," said Sean, looking at my alarm clock, "doesn't time fly when you're having fun?" He smiled at me and I smiled back. "You're a really easy person to talk to, you know," he had that shy, embarrassed look in his eye again. It made him look like a puppy. I just wanted to scoop him up and hug him to death. Although, now that is physically impossible...  
  
"You remind me of my girlfriend, actually," he stared at my wall in a daze, "ex-girlfriend, I suppose." His soulful grey eyes were glistening strangely.  
  
I rested my hand on his broad shoulder, "It will get easier, you know. Hopefully you won't be round here too long anyway. Not that I'm complaining, I mean, I don't mean that I want to get rid of you, but you'll probably be wanting to move on and get on with your next life or wherever it is you go, you know." Wow, smooth talking there, Suze.  
  
But he just smiled at me again. Kinda reassuring. He sure has got that smile down to a pat, I thought. That smile could have easily made him a model, with his broad shoulders, well-sculptured face, and six foot of toned body and muscles. Not to mention his smooth and silky dark brown hair, the kind you only see Pantene adverts, the kind I would kill for.  
  
A sudden thought struck me. I looked around the room. Where was Jesse?  
  
Oh well, he'd be back tonight. Hopefully.  
  
I wouldn't mind another one of those kissing sessions...  
  
"Suze! Dinner! Hurry up or it'll all be gone!" Andy yelled up the stairs. Sean said a quick, "See ya" then disappeared. I sighed and trudged downstairs.  
  
Dinner was as to be expected. Dopey didn't mention Paul, thank God, and neither did Doc.  
  
But after dinner, as I was about to walk into my room, Doc called my name quickly and quietly. He looked a little worried so I walked over to him.  
  
"What's up, Doc?" Hahaha, my humour is wasted on these earthlings.  
  
"Um, it's about Paul," he began, he looked really nervous. Suddenly I got angry.  
  
"What has he said to you? Has he done anything to you? Hurt you? Threatened you? I'm kill that jerk, I really am." Except I didn't say jerk.  
  
David looked shocked and quickly reassured me it was none of the above. I breathed a sigh of relief, only slightly saddened that I didn't have an excuse to beat Paul up.  
  
"It's just that, what Brad was saying, it wasn't true, was it?" I stared at him. I was extremely confused. When had Doc ever cared about Paul before?  
  
"No, Do-David, it wasn't true. I don't like Paul. Why?" I knelt down to his level and looked him square in the eye. He was a funny kid, David.  
  
"It's just, I got the feeling that you and Jesse were...you know. And I don't think it would be fair on Jesse if you and Paul were...you know. 'Cos Jesse sounds like a really nice guy – remember that time he saved your life?" I tried to guess which time Doc meant "- and I reckon he would be kinda hurt, if it was true." Doc looked me in the eye, his almost pleading with mine. Weird.  
  
Okay, now I was really staring at David. My mouth had hit the floor.  
  
"I would never do anything to hurt Jesse on purpose, David," I finally said once I had regained my countenance, "and I really don't like Paul. 'K?"  
  
Doc seemed to find this answer to his satisfaction, because his smile returned and he nodded then bounced into his room.  
  
Strangle little boy.  
  
I shook my head, trying to stop my mind from fizzing about. Had that really happened?  
  
I walked into my room and started to do my homework, not really taking in what I was doing.  
  
The phone rang and I picked it up.  
  
"Simon-Ackerman residence, how can I help?" I said in my telephone voice. When I'm on the phone, I have little things that I do. For one thing, I always use my telephone voice. Unless I'm talking to someone like CeeCee of Gina. Another thing is I start doodling. Just random little things like eyes and squiggles. Not very exciting, really.  
  
"So you thought you'd just ignore our lesson planned for today, did you?"  
  
I stopped doodling.  
  
Uh oh. I was in trouble.  
  
Big trouble.  
  
"Shit! Oh my God, I am so sorry Paul! I completely forgot. I just got chatting to Sean and then it was dinner and by that time I'd just completely forgotten!" What had I done? I prayed that Paul was in a good mood.  
  
I held my pen, poised above my paper, ready to be doodled with, or dropped.  
  
"Sean? I hope he hasn't replaced me on your list of affections, Suze," well the good news was that Paul sounded in a reasonably good mood.  
  
I started doodling.  
  
"Ha ha. Is it too late to come over? Or re-schedule?" I had my fingers crossed and was biting down on my lip.  
  
"My, my, aren't we keen? And I got the impression I repulsed you?" I gritted my teeth.  
  
"I'm only doing this, Paul, to insure Jesse's safety, and you know it."  
  
There was silence on the other end. Then Paul heaved a gusty sigh.  
  
"Fine, fine. Let's re-schedule. Tomorrow. Same time, same place. And you'd better show up, Suze, or I can't be blamed for my actions...and their consequences." A chill went tingling down my spine, and I gripped the phone harder, my knuckles turning white.  
  
"Sweet dreams, Suze," he said smoothly, then rang off. I stared at my phone for a while then placed it down carefully on its cradle, as if any pressure would cause it to shatter.  
  
I shook myself for the second time in the space of fifteen minutes and stood up. I wrote all over my hands and notebooks: '7.30 – don't be late'. To be on the safe side, I wrote it on my mirror in lipstick.  
  
I stepped back and surveyed my art. Perfect.  
  
I heard something behind me and I turned around. Jesse.  
  
He was squinting at my message.  
  
"Don't be late for what, querida?" He asked, turning his liquid eyes to me.  
  
"Oh, I've got a date with CeeCee and Adam. I just don't wanna be late!" It was such a pathetic lie, but it did the trick.  
  
"Alright then, querida." And with that he strode up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I snuggled into his chest and closed my eyes. If he were alive, I thought, would've been able to hear and feel his heart beat.  
  
It was actually quite a disturbing thought and I quickly stopped.  
  
Jesse sighed and started to stroke my hair.  
  
"You don't know how much of a joy it is for me to be able to do this now. To be able to hold you, touch you, kiss you. My querida." He kissed my on my forehead and looked into my eyes. It felt like he was searching my soul, and it was comforting.  
  
"Ditto," I replied, then yawned. Today had been a pretty eventful day. I disengaged myself from Jesse and went into my bathroom to change into my PJ's. I came out to find Jesse still staring at my message. I froze for a split second then carried on over to my bed.  
  
I stole one more stare at Jesse then clapped my lights off.  
  
"Goodnight, querida," whispered Jesse.  
  
"G'night," I yawned back. Then I was out like a light.  
  
No nightmares about Paul.  
  
Just dreams about Jesse, and me. 


	7. The Ghost, The Bitch And The Buses

Disclaimer: I don't own mediator concept, bla bla bla  
  
A/N: Seriously, reviewers...I love you guys more than I love Paul. And that is saying something.  
  
NiceHayley – my faithful nice Hayley. KEEP KICKIN' ASS, GIRL! ( I want to go to New Orleans)  
  
Alda Rethe – moowhaahhaa (I didn't really know what else to say and I believe my reviewers all deserve a mention – for it is you who keep my writing, you have the power)  
  
Mystique Angelique – I LOVE YOUR STORIES MORE!!!!! It's an honour for you to review, m' lady  
  
Rissa aka WriteWitRissa – ok, I TOTALLY noticed I as making Jesse a make out guy but this is because he has waited sooo long to have Suze that he wants to prove himself to her by kissing her lots...OK I LIED, it's actually because my hormones are going a bit schizo at the mo and are making me a bit...boy crazy, and this is going into my writing...I JUST WANT A BOYFRIEND!! IS THAT SO WRONG???  
  
Shaedowe – I'm glad you find this...interesting...hm...  
  
Amy – you are so cool...PAUL IS MINE  
  
ENJOY READING MY CHICAS!!!!!  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
OK, so my meeting with Paul the next day wasn't so bad. He actually treated me with a little bit of respect, you know? He cooked – and he is a very good cook – then, over candles and wine and dinner, he told me a little more about the past of shifting.  
  
Shifters are just stronger versions of mediums and mediators. Paul and I are both shifters. We were treated like gods in the Egyptian times. But eventually people started to treat us differently. They no longer believed we were helpers and guiders, they started to fear us. In now-a-day terms, they thought we were freaks. I think that's a fair evaluation, don't you? Then, after the fear had settled, they started to think - maybe we were a little unstable? Maybe we were making it up? Maybe they should ignore us, diss us, tell us we were wrong? Or just pack us off to a mental asylum? So they did. Or, at least, tried to.  
  
Obviously, this took hundreds of years.  
  
But you can see how my mom treated me when I first told her – packed me off to her shrink for a little cosy chat.  
  
And that's about all that happened at Paul's.  
  
I'm serious!  
  
I know I know, I was just as shocked! Normally he can't resist my cherry chap stick. Not that I was trying to impress him. Oh no no. I was still plenty scared of his six feet of muscles. And what he could do to Jesse...  
  
The rest of my week passed in a blur. A very slow blur.  
  
You know when you go to an art gallery, and you see those painting that are just a few swipes of blue and grey paint? And you look at them and think, 'What was this guy on when he painted this?' Well, I think I understand now.  
  
No, I'm not doing drugs.  
  
It's just, that is how I would portray that week. A slow blur of nothing interesting.  
  
A few heart-rendering kisses from Jesse, a few winks from Paul, and a few chats with Sean.  
  
Not much.  
  
But I was saving up for this weekend.  
  
This weekend, I was going to mediate Sean.  
  
I was going to have to travel to the other side of California, to his ex- girlfriend's house. And somehow convince her it wasn't her fault he died.  
  
Hmm. Now who can spot the difficulty in this?  
  
But it was my duty.  
  
Shove duty, it was my job.  
  
Sean was pretty hyped. He was jumping about, well, materialising about. He was mega excited about moving on, but really nervous about his Chrissie's reaction (his girlfriend). He really did love her. It was exactly a week since his death this Saturday. The Saturday I would be visiting. I knew Chrissie was gonna be heart-broken. But Sean wanted her to know how he felt. So she could move on, as well as him. Obviously she wouldn't be moving on into the great unknown, unlike Sean.  
  
I understood.  
  
Kinda.  
  
So after catching about fifty buses (why not just get a bus to drive directly from one side of CA to the other?) I had to walk about a mile to her house. With Sean constantly at my side, whispering "This way. That way. Get off this stop."  
  
Finally I reached her house.  
  
I knocked on the door.  
  
And received one of the biggest shocks of my life...  
  
Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. But that's how it felt. Lemme explain a few things, first. Sean and I have been getting closer recently. He's been a really nice friend to me, and vice versa.  
  
So I felt like ripping out Chrissie's heart and shoving it down her throat when she answered the door...her new boyfriend busy necking her from behind.  
  
I obviously didn't know it was her when she answered the door, I mean, I've never seen her before in my life. But judging by the way Sean was hyperventilating beside me (how did he do that, anyway? HE CAN'T EVEN BREATHE! HE IS A GHOST) I guessed pretty soon it was her.  
  
I mean, seriously! What. A. Bitch.  
  
Her boyfriend DIED for her!!!!  
  
A WEEK AGO.  
  
SEVEN DAYS.  
  
And she's already NECKING someone else????  
  
So after a few minutes of me gawking at her and her giggling stupidly saying, "Stop it, Greg. Stop it! Oh my God, I am so gonna get you for this! Hehehehe. Greg!" I finally introduced myself.  
  
"Hi, my name's Suze. I was wondering, have you seen Sean recently? 'Cos he gave me his address and told me if he wasn't there, he would probably be here instead. So, is he here?" I had the satisfaction of seeing her face turn bright red before she said, "I'm sorry, Sean isn't here at the moment."  
  
Then I dug the knife in further.  
  
"Oh yeah, that's right! I saw that story on the news! Sean died, didn't he? He died saving you. I can't believe I forgot! But, then again, it seems like you did too, didn't you? Oh, and Sean says not to blame yourself for his death. I guess there's no need for him to worry about that, eh?" With that I turned my back on her and stormed down the road.  
  
I heard Chrissie in the background squealing, "No seriously, Greg, stop it. Just get the hell away from me!" I turned and saw her slamming her front door in Greg's face, who, might I say, is a hundred times uglier than Sean? And what was Sean doing with Chrissie anyway? Her voice was like a pig's squeal.  
  
Sean was nowhere to be seen.  
  
While I was worried about him being OK and not doing anything stupid, I was even more worried about me finding my way home.  
  
After a few hours, I did eventually arrive home, a little shaken. I officially hate buses. Full of clingy ghosts and bums. I'm not even kidding. Ew, ew and ew.  
  
I stormed up to my room and showered and scrubbed for about two hours before I finally emerged, squeaky clean with re-volumized hair.  
  
Sean was on my bed.  
  
He had his head in his hands. He looked up at me when I entered. His face was glistening with heavy tears. He was silently crying.  
  
I almost burst out crying.  
  
That's twice Sean's made me feel tearful. I must be malfunctioning or something.  
  
"Oh, Sean, I am so-"  
  
"Don't, Suze. Just...don't, okay?" Sean lowered his head again. It was dark outside and Sean's unearthly glow was cold.  
  
Suddenly he let out an inhuman cry that tore my heart in two. I ran over to him and hugged him like a baby.  
  
This time there was no silent crying.  
  
Just a heart-broken man, too far gone to care about ego and looks. His unstoppable, unmanly sobs seemed to be making Sean smaller and smaller, with each one that tore itself from his body.  
  
For what seemed like hours, we just sat there. Me cradling Sean and him crying into my lap.  
  
His sobs died down and he just lay there, curled up in a ball with his head in my lap. He was vulnerable and he didn't give a damn about it. He was like a child.  
  
He was homeless. He had no family. It seemed to him he was forgotten. Already a thing of the past. To him, he was unloved. And alone.  
  
I don't know what time I fell asleep, but when I woke up there was Sean, with his eyes closed and his head on my stomach. I was stretched out and very uncomfortable. My neck was gonna be hellishly sore today.  
  
I looked down at the sleeping figure.  
  
Wait a minute... rewind!  
  
Sleeping?  
  
Since when do ghosts sleep?  
  
I lay there on my bed, eyes open wide, stock still. What do I do? What do I do?  
  
Jesse materialised next to my head, standing by my bed.  
  
He looked down at me and then his eyes slowly travelled down to Sean. They widened for a second, then darted back to me.  
  
He cocked an eyebrow.  
  
I just shrugged my shoulders. This movement seemed to do the trick though, because next thing I knew, Sean was stirring. He sat up and looked at me, then Jesse.  
  
"Hi. I'm sorry, I guess I was sleeping," his voice was laced with sorrow and was cracking, but he was trying to hide it.  
  
"Urm, Sean? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but ghosts don't sleep." I was sat against my headboard. I stretched my legs, then arms, then everything else. It took quite a while.  
  
"Really?" Asked Sean when I was finished. "I guess I was daydreaming then."  
  
"Hmm." I got up and stretched some more. I leant up and kissed Jesse on the cheek. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sean wince and look away.  
  
Yesterdays events suddenly slapped me in the face like a cold, wet fish. I quickly excused myself to the bathroom where I washed, changed, and brushed my teeth.  
  
When I came back, Sean was gone and Jesse was sat on the window seat, petting Spike.  
  
"Care to explain, Susannah?" He asked with one eyebrow in the eye. A hint of annoyance was glinting in his eyes...and something else...Jealousy?  
  
I hope so.  
  
I sighed and walked over to him. I plonked my butt down next to him and explained everything. After I had, Jesse just sat there in silence. I wondered if he had been listening at all. Or if he was still trying to figure out what I'd just said. I mean, I know talk fast sometimes, but this was just rude.  
  
"Hello-o! Jesse? Hello-o!" I shook my hand in front of his face but it made no difference. I swivelled on my butt and brought my knees up to my chest, then kicked them out at Jesse. At first I did it kind of gently, just hitting him lightly with my toes, but then I used more force. To bring Jesse out of his stupor I had to use so much force that he ended up flying off the window seat.  
  
I snorted then collapsed in giggles.  
  
Ghosts can fly!  
  
Jesse just frowned at me then pulled me onto the floor. I finished giggling and stared at his angry face.  
  
"What? What?! What else was I supposed to do?"  
  
"You could have left me be?" Jesse raised one eyebrow at me.  
  
"Now why would I want to do that? It's so much more fun to kick you." I grinned at him in what I hoped looked like a maniac's smile. Jesse just prodded me and dematerialised.  
  
I sat on the floor for a while longer then got up and sorted out my hair. 


	8. All New Arrivals, Report To Gate Suze

Disclaimer: I own the actions of the characters in this story, but not the characters (exceptions are: Sean, Louisa. That is all) and not the series "Mediator". That is owned by Meg Cabot. Not me. Not you. Just Meg. Got it?  
  
A/N: Sorry if this has taken a while, my impatient clutch of faithlings, but I have started school again and the teachers insist that I have no life outside of school! Just 'cos they don't have one... Anyway, this chapter is ESPECIALLY long, as a tribute...so you'd better enjoy!  
  
Just kidding.  
  
...  
  
Btw, SEAN IS A GHOST. HIS GIRLFRIEND WAS A BITCH TO HIM, HE IS GETTING FEELINGS FOR SUZE. SUZE LOVES JESSE. JESSE LOVES SUZE. PAUL LOVES SUZE. SUZE HATES PAUL...sorta...BUT SEAN IS DEFINITELY DEAD. I'm sorry you Sean lovers. I truly am...* snorts, points, laughs, and mocks *  
  
(just kidding)  
  
ALSO, ANNA S, YOU SHY WRITER-TO-BE, I WILL GET YOU WRITING, WITH YOUR FANTASTIQUE WRITING SKILLS, JUST YOU WAIT...(don't tell Haydn about any of my obsessions either...or about this...please)  
  
ANNA S has encouraged me through and through, thank you, Anna. She has not mocked me, she has not pitied or laughed or bullied me. I owe you my life...or, at least, half a Mars bar...  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Sunday morning I got a call from CeeCee and Adam.  
  
"Suze! Yo! It's CeeCee!" She shrieked in my ear.  
  
"Well, duh, CeeCee," I replied, cradling the phone between my chin and shoulder, checking my nails for any flaws. None. Today was a good day in the world of Suze Simon.  
  
"OK," continued CeeCee eagerly. "So me and Adam are heading to the beach at this moment in time. Want us to pick you up?"  
  
"Sure. What time will you be here?"  
  
"Bout 15. See you soon!" She hung up, but not before I heard Adam yell, "See you Su-uze!"  
  
I ran to my to my chest of drawers and rummaged about. Finally, I found my turquoise bikini and put it on. In the bathroom, of course. I grabbed all my essentials – lotion, money, hat, sunglasses, towel – and rammed them all into my beach bag. Then I quickly tied on a sarong and slipped my feet into a pair of flip-flops. As I had time to spare, I added a layer of sparkly lip-gloss. Perfect. I was also having a good hair day. Now I just had to slip out of the house without Jesse noticing. He was pretty cool about, for a guy over 150 years old, but his lips thinned dramatically and his body stiffened when he saw me wearing only a bikini. I mean, back in his day, the ladies wore underwear that covered almost the entire body. Now-a-days your lucky if half the women wear underwear.  
  
But I didn't think Jesse needed to hear about that. Which is why I keep all of my...ah hem...nice underwear hidden inside other clothes. I barely ever wear them, but, like the Boy Scouts wisely say, Always be prepared. Makes sense to me.  
  
I heard a car horn toot outside and I ran downstairs. Adam was standing by the passenger car door of his shiny, expensive Volkswagon and CeeCee was leaning out of the back seat window. Adam had already made her cram into the back seat. I gave her a sympathetic smile then said hello.  
  
Adam opened my door for me with an elaborate bow.  
  
"Your carriage awaits, Madame."  
  
"Why thank you, kind sir." CeeCee groaned and rolled her eyes.  
  
"Don't encourage him, we're supposed to be making him normal."  
  
I laughed and Adam slipped behind the wheel.  
  
When we arrived at the beach - after such a short time I wondered if we were being lazy not just walking there - he parked the car in the car park and we all strolled along the beach to find a suitable spot. CeeCee and I grinned at each other. Our usual place by the lifeguard was free. Adam just moaned. The lifeguard nodded at us with a slight twitch of his lips. Beautiful.  
  
After an hour, I was the colour of Pocahontas and so was Adam. CeeCee was wearing her usual sun-guard clothes – a long-sleeved, purple T, baggy lime green trousers, and a purple hat the size of one of those novelty Mexican hats. As if she wasn't weird enough wearing winter clothing.  
  
Everyone who gave her odd looks was scared away by the three of us, barking madly like dogs then collapsing with laughter...  
  
I guess you had to be there.  
  
While we were all lying down, Adam and CeeCee arguing about the difference in taste between Diet Pepsi and regular Pepsi (as if it wasn't obvious), I heard the sand beside my outstretched arm shuffle and rustle together. I lifted my sunglasses and squinted up.  
  
There was a girl my age standing over me.  
  
She wasn't casting any shadow on me.  
  
Because she wasn't blocking the Sun.  
  
Because she was a ghost.  
  
"Urm, you guys, I'm gonna go get something to drink, I'll be right back." They ignored me and carried on arguing. If they didn't get together soon, I think I would rip my hair out. And that's not easy for me to say.  
  
The girl walked beside me, "Hi, my name's Louisa," she looked like a Louisa – wavy, shiny light-brown hair with blonde streaks in it, sparkling blue eyes, frilly white top and lilac peddle-pushers, with her head cocked to one side like a small bird and one hand on her ever-so-small hip. And she was polite.  
  
"Hey, I'm Suze." We plodded along the sand for a while longer in silence so as not to attract any unwanted attention, then climbed the exhaustingly large amount of steps to get onto the sidewalk. We found a bench and sat down.  
  
"So...name your glitch," I squinted at her then lowered my shades.  
  
She made a clicky noise at the back of her throat and looked away. She crossed and uncrossed her arms in her lap, then crossed and uncrossed her legs. It was somewhat annoying. I looked across the street and watched the people wandering about. Lucky so and so's. They don't have to worry about dead people. I could almost picture their thoughts:  
  
'Did I leave the iron on?'  
  
'I wonder what time Jimmy will finish football.'  
  
'I hope my girlfriend isn't allergic to daisies...'  
  
And my thoughts?  
  
'I hope it isn't too hard to mediate this chick - I wanna get back to kissing my dead boyfriend.'  
  
Finally, ghost girl turned around and looked at me.  
  
"My fiancé killed me."  
  
OK, that was unexpected.  
  
I sat there gawping while she looked around herself calmly, if she had some lipgloss, she would have put some on.  
  
"Ub...ub...ub..." I muttered gormlessly, resembling a fish spectacularly.  
  
Finally I got my senses back.  
  
"And you don't mind?"  
  
She just looked at me like I was mad.  
  
"Not really. The guy was a pig, if you know what I mean," except she didn't say pig. She raised an eyebrow at me. I didn't know what she meant.  
  
She sighed and rolled her eyes at me. Man, was this one weird chick.  
  
"I met him when I was fourteen-" she began. But I interrupted her.  
  
"And how old are you now?"  
  
She just rolled her eyes again. I got the feeling she and Kelly Prescott would get on very well.  
  
"I'm seventeen now. Anyway-"  
  
"And you were engaged? But you're only seventeen!" Okay, now she just looked disgusted.  
  
"Will you let me finish? God. Anyway, I met Harry when I was fourteen. He was eighteen. He seemed to really like me, and he was really good-looking, you know? So we started going out. Then, a year later, he proposed. I was really shocked. I mean, I hadn't even told my parents I had a boyfriend! But Harry told me not to worry, we would wait until I was eighteen, and then we could get married legally, without my parents' consent. So for the next two years we lived quite happily together. Most nights I would stay over at his and tell my parents I was at a friends. But yesterday... He said I was getting too clingy," I noticed her hands were clenched into fists, "and that he had found someone else. Someone younger, thinner, prettier, better." She gave a bitter laugh. "He showed me her picture. He had a smug look on his face, and I knew. I knew that was the end of our love."  
  
She shook her head. "I don't even hate that witch who replaced me," except she didn't say witch. She looked me right in the eye and I saw she was speaking the truth when she next said, "I just feel sorry for her."  
  
I was speechless.  
  
Harry was disgusting. A pervert, a freak. A pig, to say the least. And a user.  
  
But why did he kill her? And why was she not bitter about it?  
  
"How did he kill you, Louisa?" I asked in a soothing voice. I thought it might bring out some emotion.  
  
But no, it didn't.  
  
"It wasn't really his fault. I went round to his house, I just needed to talk to him. So I knocked on the door. But he didn't answer. I knocked for hours. I knew he was home, his car was in the drive and the lights were on. So I went to look through the window. And she was there. With him. Cuddling up on the sofa. Already looking like a happily married couple." A shadow passed over her face and a scowl disrupted her perfect features. It made her look like a pug. I had a feeling she might be a bit like the ghost Heather, if she got angry. Yippee, more fun for the Mediator.  
  
"So I got angry. I grabbed a rock, and threw it through the window. It broke through and landed on the carpet. I hid behind a bush in the garden and he came out. With a gun. I didn't mean to startle him. But I just had to speak to him, before he went back inside to her. So I jumped out from behind the bush." She paused and looked thoughtful, "I guess I jumped a little too jumpily, though. Cos next thing I knew, he had turned to me, real scared looking, and he had pulled the trigger. He was real sorry, though, he told me just before I died."  
  
A sad smile played on her face.  
  
I sat in silence, staring straight in front of me. Wow. That was one heck of a story. It would definitely be going in the collection.  
  
"So, how come you're still here? Cos, no offence, you don't look very upset or anything. So, what's holding you back?"  
  
For the first time she looked a bit scared.  
  
"I-I don't really know... Will you help me?" She looked straight in my eyes and grasped my hands. "Will you?"  
  
Before I could reply that Yes, I would help her - a huge shadow cast itself over us. I raised my shades onto my head so I could see clearly.  
  
"Of course she'll help you. It's what she does. Unfortunately. It's also one of her few weaknesses. One of her very few imperfections. But I'm going to change that," his eyes glinted at me and stared at me in that unnerving way.  
  
I just rolled my eyes. This scene was getting tiresome.  
  
"Paul, piss off. I'm not in the mood." And I wasn't. The heat was making me a bit drowsy. I glanced at Louisa. She was looking Paul up and down, very unsubtly. A sly, cat-like smirk spread on her face. Her shoulders went back slightly and her chin lifter up.  
  
"Hello...Paul, was it?" She stood up and offered her hand in an oh-so lady- like fashion. Did she think Paul was gonna get down on one knee and kiss it? Her voice had suddenly lowered itself into a husky whisper. Now why can't my voice do that whenever I'm talking to Jesse?  
  
Paul glanced at her briefly, uninterestedly. Then turned his eyes back to mine. Only I knew his disgust at the mere thought of a relationship with someone dead.  
  
I stood up, I realised it was getting late and Adam and CeeCee were probably wondering where I was.  
  
"I have to go Paul, Adam and CeeCee are probably-"  
  
"Suze! Su-uze! Oy, Simon!" We all turned around and saw Adam running up the stairs. CeeCee carrying everything we brought to the beach behind him. Adam ran up and gave me a big, unnecessary bear hug.  
  
"We thought you were dead!" No, just conversing with them. He gasped in a very over-played voice. I giggled and pushed him away. He hugged me again, this time rocking me side to side gently.  
  
I saw CeeCee glowering at me behind Adam's back.  
  
"Um, Adam, you can...you can let go now," when he didn't let go I yelled very loudly in his ear.  
  
"ADAM!!!!"  
  
Needless to say he let me go. CeeCee smirked.  
  
"I think you have to accept it, Adam, you just aren't destined for Suze," she said. Adam heaved a sigh, "Alas, rejection! When will it cease?"  
  
"When you stop being such a dufus," she retorted.  
  
"Or when you ask CeeCee out," I muttered, only CeeCee, Paul and Louisa heard me. CeeCee glared at me with naked panic in her eyes. I just rolled mine.  
  
I felt a tap on my shoulder. Louisa mouthed at me, "See you soon." Then gave me the thumbs up sign and dematerialised.  
  
"We're heading back now, Suze. Come on, you know how your dad gets if you're late for dinner," said CeeCee as she prodded me in the back with the beach umbrella.  
  
I stopped walking abruptly. My dad? A chill went down my spine at that instant sense of sorrow that flashes when unhappy thoughts and memories are brought up.  
  
"Step-dad," CeeCee quickly corrected. She had stopped moving too. So had Adam and Paul. A cold hand on my bare arm made me jump. It was Paul. He had concern in his eyes, mine was slightly blurry. I blinked then frowned. Paul couldn't see me tearful. It's just...it had been so long since I'd last spoken to Dad or seen him. I felt guilty, and angry...and hurt. Guilty that I hadn't tried to contact him. Angry that he hadn't tried to contact me, and hadn't been there when I need him – Heather, Tad's uncle Marcus, Michael, Paul. Then I felt the overwhelming emotion of hurt, so sharp it tweaked my stomach muscles. I bent slightly to ease the stabbing needles in my stomach. I coughed when I recovered.  
  
CeeCee was giving me a curious look. Adam was graciously looking away. Paul was staring at me. Hard. I avoided everyone's eyes and grabbed my stuff from CeeCee.  
  
"Let's go." And I walked off. 


	9. Guardian Angel

Discalimer: I don't own mediator series.  
  
A/N: Sorry it's been a while!! I've just gone back to school though, and it's busy busy busy!  
  
Urm...I am English...since you asked...(is it that obvious????)  
  
Not much really happens in this chapter (I'm trying to figure out how to get more action in it!!!!!! It's hard work!! Especially seeing as I don't have a plot. But trust me, Louisa's gonna get a lot more evil and violent...MOOOWAHAHAHHAA)  
  
Thank you as usual to all my BEEEAAAUTIFUL reviewers – you seriously light up my life...or at least, my email account...  
  
P.S – this chapter is quite long, isn't it? Oops...  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
When I got home I ran upstairs and into my bathroom.  
  
Since when was I getting upset about the fact my dad is dead and hasn't visited me in ages? I threw cold water on my face. I was a bit ashamed of my reaction by the beach. I never get upset. Well, in public anyway. And Paul had seen! I don't know why that was making me feel worse. The fact Paul had seen me briefly fall apart for no reason.  
  
But it was. Making me feel worse, I mean.  
  
Once I was my usual self I walked into my bedroom and grabbed some clothes to put on. I was still in my bikini and getting a bit chilly after the change of warm sun and gently crisping skin to my cool, tiled bathroom.  
  
Jesse was sat in his customary place on my window seat. Spike had just appeared on the porch roof as was his usual entrance. Jesse turned around when I exited my bathroom.  
  
He scowled at my bikini. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Couldn't you wear something over the top of...of...that?" He said as he nodded his head sharply at me. Bless him; he looked so adorable.  
  
I turned round in a full circle with my arms out.  
  
"You mean my bikini? What's wrong with it?" I said in mock concern. "Does it make me look," I took a deep breath as if the very thought made me want to cry and closed my eyes, "fat?" I opened my eyes wide.  
  
"No! Of course not, querida, it makes you look stunning and beautiful. It makes you look how every woman should look, so graceful and...and..." he stopped as he saw me trying not to smile. Ha! So he did like my bikini.  
  
He growled slightly and said, "It would be more appropriate if you covered up, more lady-like."  
  
"But then, I wouldn't look as graceful and stunning and...what was the other one?" Jesse looked embarrassed. "Anyway," I continued, "I'm wearing this over the top." I tugged at my rather small sarong and Jesse just lifted a sceptical eyebrow.  
  
I dug out some clothes and put them on. In my bathroom, of course. Then I finished off my homework. After dinner I watched TV with Doc, some documentary on the tribal natures of...well, tribes. Then I went upstairs and slept in a world of warm, tranquil dreams of Jesse and me.  
  
So warm and tranquil were these dreams that I slept late and almost missed my ride for school.  
  
What else is new?  
  
At school I excused myself to Father Dom's office after assembly, he's always interested in my ghostly escapades. To my utter shock and disbelief – I actually apologised and said that I must've got the wrong room and turned to go out before I realised I was in Father Dom's office – Father D was already entertaining some ghostly guests. And Paul.  
  
I stood by the door with my mouth hanging open. Paul actually looked a little annoyed and didn't even try to smirk at me.  
  
"OK, so...what's going on here?" I asked when I'd recovered. I felt that at any second I would lose it and start freaking out.  
  
"Oh, hello Susannah, I suppose you were coming here to tell me all about Louisa? Well, no need. She and Paul have already kindly filled me in," said Father Dom with a smile that revealed he was as shocked as I was about Paul being here and being helpful.  
  
Then Paul had to spoil it all by saying, "Louisa, for some unfathomable reason, came to me this morning and asked me to help her move on. I took her to Father Dominic hoping he would oblige."  
  
Ah. Paul obviously wasn't happy about being chosen by Louisa to help her. Like I said, Paul prefers the dead as minions, not as needing trapped souls searching for guidance.  
  
"Paul was just so nice to me, so kind. He's a real gentleman," Louisa gushed, looking up at Paul and fluttering her eyelashes, clinging onto his arm. Paul frankly looked disgusted, but he smiled a rather forced smile at her then turned to me. I was trying to hide my amusement.  
  
Louisa had a crush on Paul! Oh dear, poor Louisa.  
  
Paul was trying to get Louisa off his arm subtly. It wasn't working.  
  
"I'm sure Paul would be willing to help you, Louisa. I already have a ghost in need of help so Paul helping you would be..." I trailed off as I saw Paul's eyes widen in panic. I rolled mine and sighed.  
  
"But, then again, Paul is a very busy guy," I shot a glare at him, "I guess I'll be assisting two ghosts. Neither of which know why they're stuck. Great." I scowled at Paul who just leered at me. That's appreciation for you.  
  
Louisa visibly tightened her grip on Paul, who winced.  
  
"But-" she began. Luckily for Paul, not so much for me, Father Dom interrupted.  
  
"Speaking of ghosts, Susannah, how is Sean? I understand this weekend you two went over to his, ah, girlfriend's house?" Father D is always touchy about the goings-on of the two sexes.  
  
"Oh yeah," I walked over to Father D's desk and flopped down in the chair. "Um, his girlfriend, unlike Sean, seems to have already moved on..." I looked up at Father D and saw puzzlement in his eyes.  
  
"I'm not sure I understand, Susannah..."  
  
"Basically, his girlfriend is already necking some other uglier guy, the stupid cow," I didn't say cow as I felt the anger bubble up inside of me. Paul snickered in the corner and I rounded on him. Standing up so fast the chair fell back. He looked a little scared.  
  
"Oh, so you think it's funny, do you? You think it's funny that this sweet, kind, funny, smart, sensitive guy has had his heart broken by the same girl he risked his life for?! But, then again, that is so like you, Paul. You're the complete opposite of Sean, you're uncaring, mean, scary, you have no idea what love is! All you care about is lust! You deserve to have your heart trodden on and spat on by some complete bitch and slut! I hope you rot in hell, all alone with no one to love you, to even like you!"  
  
My breathing was fast and shallow. It was the only sound that could be heard in the office. My heart was beating hard against my ribs. Paul was giving me a weird look. We stared at each other for a while then I turned away and said, very dignified, "Ugh".  
  
I flopped back down into the chair and picked at my nails.  
  
I looked up at Father D and saw him giving me a very hard look.  
  
"What?" I demanded.  
  
Father D just sighed and sat down. "I take it it didn't go to well then?"  
  
"No, it didn't. Sean just spent the whole night crying and I just sat up and comforted him. All night. Since then, I haven't seen him. I mean, I'm not too worried, he's not the murdering type," as I said this I shot Paul a look, he was still staring at the space I'd been standing when I'd yelled at him. I turned my eyes back to Father Dom, "So I think he's just taking some time off. Maybe we should call him?"  
  
Father Dom was giving me a half appraising, half wondrous look at me. "Very good idea, perhaps Paul could even try and help?" He looked at Paul who looked a bit taken back. "Good," said Father D, as if that settled it. You had to admire his sense of pursuit. But when would he give up? Paul just isn't the helping kind.  
  
"Sean! Sean! Please come here, Se-ean!" I cupped my hands to my mouth and called. This was just for show. I can actually call with my mind. Wow, that sounds really cool and sci-fi, doesn't it? It's actually quite annoying. And sometimes, frankly inappropriate.  
  
Sean materialised next to me expectantly.  
  
"Hey," he said quietly.  
  
"Hey," I said back. I was strangely glad to see him. I saw him looking around the room, puzzled. "Oh, this is Father Dom, Paul – he's another mediator, but not as nice, feel free to ignore him – and this is Louisa, a fellow trapped soul." Sean nodded his greetings at them who all greeted him back.  
  
"Greetings, Sean, I'm Father Dominic, a mediator much like Susannah and Paul."  
  
Paul just looked at Sean blankly. Sean frowned at him then turned to Louisa. Who had suddenly dropped Paul's arm.  
  
"Hi, Sean, I'm Louisa. You know, I think we will get on so well. We have so much in common!" Yeah, I thought, you're both dead. She was fluttering her eyelashes again. Does that not make her eyes sore, after a while? Sean gave her a very weak smile and turned to me.  
  
Suddenly I felt very uncomfortable. I mean, I had just told everyone about his humiliation and hurt, and here he was, almost parading it, unwillingly.  
  
"Urm, we thought- Father Dom and I thought...that perhaps we could discuss how to get you...moved on..." Sean didn't react at all. He just kept looking at me. Then, "Oh". That's all. 'Oh'.  
  
OK, now I felt really bad. This must be really embarrassing for him. Even more so when Louisa started nattering on.  
  
"You know, Sean, "she started as she sidled up to, slinking her arm round his. He pulled his away abruptly, but that didn't dissuade her. "Not all girls are like your ex, some of us appreciate a man." I couldn't believe she'd just said that. How insensitive can you get???  
  
"Haha, that's great, Louisa, really, but I'm sure Sean isn't that interested right now," I had to try and shut her up. But no, Louisa really is as dumb as she looks.  
  
"Oh, but Susan-"  
  
"Suze," I corrected sharply.  
  
"Suze – I'm sure if the right woman came along," Louisa dropped her shoulders back dramatically – it looked as if she'd been grabbed by an invisible force, "Sean would be able to restore his broken heart. Sean, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm right here. Any time, any place." She placed her hand gently on his arm, and jerked it away.  
  
"I'm fine. My heart isn't broken. I'm better off without her."  
  
Boy was I feeling bad. My eyes were locked onto my feet and my face was blazing. Why did Louisa have to be so...so...blonde? Although, technically, they were only blonde highlights.  
  
"Yes, of course Sean, you're so much better without her. But, you'll be much better with someone else, I'm sure. I know these things, Sean. Women's intuition, you could say," she gave him what I suppose was meant to be a reassuring smile. Paul burst out laughing and hastily turned it into a whooping cough. I could not get over my feeling of remorse.  
  
"Like I said, Louisa, I'm fine." He walked over to the other side of my chair and sat down on the arm. I looked up at him apologetically. He gave me a very small smile. But it made me feel tonnes better, that's for sure.  
  
Louisa huffed then walked back over to Paul, who's smile was suddenly wiped off.  
  
Father D shuffled in his chair and coughed lightly.  
  
"Perhaps, Susannah and Paul, you should go and catch the remainder of your morning lessons, hm? I will talk to Sean and Louisa." And with that, Paul almost ran out of the office, leaving a very disappointed Louisa clinging onto thin air, and I briefly touched Sean on the shoulder, before taking mine and Paul's hall passes with me.  
  
Paul was waiting just outside the door, idly checking his hands, God knows what for.  
  
"Looks like you're going to have a fun week," he said as I shut the door, his eyebrows were raised and his there was a smile tweaking at his lips.  
  
"Oh shut up. You were no help." I shoved his hall pass at him and marched out of reception.  
  
"What was I supposed to do? Smile and tell them everything was going to be OK?"  
  
"Yes! And, oh I don't know, maybe you could even try doing your job and mediating!" I turned round and put my hands on my hips.  
  
"You know just as well as I do that it's not our job." He was gazing at me with one of those inscrutable looks, all serious and scary.  
  
"Whatever Paul, all I know is I'm being inundated with ghosts who seem to have no idea what they want. How am I supposed to have a life when I'm living with the dead? It was one simple task, Paul. All you had to do was help Louisa, I'm sure she'd only be too obliged to accept and do whatever you say." I said the last bit rather bitterly and turned round to walk off again.  
  
But even through the back of my head, I could feel his smirk. He skipped up to me and put his arm round my waist. I stepped away from him but kept on walking.  
  
"Anyone would think you were jealous, Suze," OK, then I stopped walking.  
  
"No Paul, not anyone, just you. Because I am certainly not jealous. I'm just annoyed that you're leaving me with those two, on my own."  
  
"I'm sure you're not that annoyed at being left with Sean on your own." Paul looked away with a furrowed brow.  
  
"What?!"  
  
Paul turned away and started walking off.  
  
I had to half run after him. I grabbed his shoulder and pushed him against one of the columns in the breezeway. I pointed my finger at him and stood on tiptoes to look him square in the face.  
  
"What did you mean by that?" He lowered his head to look at me.  
  
"At least I know for sure you really do prefer dead guys to live ones."  
  
"I only prefer Jesse to anyone. And I would much prefer it if he were alive, but he's not. And I won't let that stand in the way."  
  
Paul flinched.  
  
"And anyway, what gives you the idea I prefer dead ones? For your information, I only prefer one dead one. One. That is no basis for your theory. At all." I honestly was confused. And I wasn't making it any better. Now not only was Paul confusing me, but I was managing to confuse myself just as much.  
  
"Oh, so your cares about Sean are purely platonic, I'm sure." He had an eyebrow raised. I lowered my tiptoes so I was standing at normal height.  
  
"Of course they are. What else would they be?" I dropped my pointing finger to my side and stood perfectly still. What was Paul getting at?  
  
"You just seem to be taking a certain amount of...interest in him."  
  
"That's because he is a decent guy, and he needs my help. What, am I supposed to just turn my back on him and tell him to get off my back?" Paul just stared at me in response. I shook my head. "Look, Paul, Sean needs my help. He is polite, kind, nice and helpful in return. I am not just gonna turn my back on him and ignore him. Unlike you, I have a heart and I don't like being purposefully mean."  
  
"I have a heart Suze, if you'd actually bother to take the time to get to know me better, you'd be able to find that out for yourself." He had shifted his weight so he was leaning into me and his arms were crossed.  
  
"It's not that I can't be bothered, it's that you make yourself so goddam scary and even if I wanted to get to know you better, you'd only take advantage of it and I would end up getting hurt." We were staring at each other hard. Had I just admitted I was scared of Paul? Dammit.  
  
"I would never hurt you, Suze, that's what you don't seem to realise. I care for you, and yet you're the one hurting me. You ignore me, you're convinced that I set out to try and ruin your life, scare you, hurt you. All I've ever wanted is you." His eyes were searching mine so thoroughly, with such earnest honesty, I had to look away. How could he do this to me? Make me hate him so much for, seemingly, trying to destroy my life, and then make me feel like the bad guy. Like I had misjudged him.  
  
Who knows, maybe I had...?  
  
"The reason I'm convinced you're purposefully setting out to ruin my life is because all you seem to care about is getting rid of Jesse. I ignore you, because if I pay you any attention-"  
  
If I pay him any attention...what?  
  
What exactly was it that made me feel so insecure around Paul? What am I so afraid of that makes me fear for paying any attention to Paul? I mean, I love Jesse. That much is obvious...but what about Paul? See, he does totally mess up my life.  
  
His features flickered slightly as I stopped mid-sentence.  
  
"If you pay me any attention...what?" He was echoing my exact thoughts. Argh, how do I get out of this one?  
  
"Then...you'll...um...do something bad...yeah..." Wow, great cover up.  
  
Paul stepped forward, closer to me. Suddenly I realised why I shouldn't pay any attention to him.  
  
"That's not what you were going to say, Suze," his voice was so deep and trusting. It sounded so nice, so full of emotion. I closed my eyes briefly and it spread through me. It made me feel strangely giddy. I opened my eyes and found myself gazing into two dazzling pools of pure, shimmering azure. I'd never realised how pretty his eyes were before. The only times I remembered them were when they were crazy and angry... This thought brought me out of my stupor.  
  
I blinked roughly and shook myself. I stamped my foot, to Paul; I was just a pathetic puppet he could toy with.  
  
"This is why, Paul! You play with me! You toy with my emotions! You don't respect me, you just see something you want but can't have. Your feelings for me don't go any deeper than lust!"  
  
This wasn't what Paul wanted to hear. He suddenly grew very angry and grabbed me by the arms. Quite hard, actually.  
  
"That is not true! I respect you, I'm just trying to prove to you that you do have emotions for me. And you know it! That's why you avoid me. Pretend to hate me. Because you don't even trust yourself! All I'm trying to show you is that you would be able to live a normal life with me, with someone living!" The words burst from his mouth and he shook me at certain words to add emphasis. All it achieved was me getting angrier and a head-ache.  
  
"That is not true!"  
  
"Yes it is. Admit it Suze, you have feelings for me, even if they are just lust. I don't care. Anything, anything at all that lets me know I'm not just a nobody to you!"  
  
"All you want, Paul, is someone you can control. Maybe not even that. Maybe all you want is someone to sleep with! Well, it's not going to be me, get it into your head, Paul, I-love-Jesse." I had pushed him off me so he was no longer gripping my arms – I had started to lose feeling in them.  
  
He looked like he wanted to slap me. Honest to God. For the first time ever, it looked like Paul had wanted to physically hurt me. Normally all he wanted was to shake me up a bit. But this time...  
  
To be perfectly honest, I would've cherished it. It would prove to me he had no real feelings for me. 'Cos he didn't. Of course he didn't...  
  
Right?  
  
But before Paul could do what looked like slap me, someone came up behind me and put a firm, possessive grip on my shoulder.  
  
Paul's eyes darted up to the person's face in annoyance then they seemed to shrink slightly.  
  
"What the hell is going on here?" Sean growled, in a voice so angry it had gone all deep and scary. He looked pretty menacing too, and not just the fact that the lockers were rattling and dust was falling from the breezeway beams and columns because of the vibrating columns. But there was a muscle dancing in his jaw, and his pupils were so small they looked as if they weren't even there. His hand on my shoulder was tight and heavy, and his other hand was clenched into an incredibly taught fist.  
  
Paul's raised arm dropped so fast to his side it looked as if some invisible dwarf had jumped onto it and put all his weight on it.  
  
"What's it to you?" Paul's voice was defiant...but not as sturdy as it usually was.  
  
Sean stepped closer to me, closer to Paul. The lockers rattled more violently and the columns were threatening to crack they were vibrating so much.  
  
"Paul was just going, Sean. Seriously," I intervened quickly. A lot of dust was coming from the breezeway and the lockers were making a lot of noise. Paul made a small growling noise then walked away, his eyes still locked with Sean's and not once glancing at me.  
  
When Paul had turned the corner and was out of sight, the lockers still didn't stop rattling.  
  
I tried to turn around to face Sean but his grip on my shoulder was incredibly tight. Though not enough to hurt me, just enough to keep me rooted in the same spot.  
  
I tapped his hand on my shoulder with my finger but nothing happened, Sean was still staring at where Paul had turned the corner.  
  
My neck was starting to hurt from craning round to look at Sean now so I slapped his hand.  
  
His head slowly turned to look at me. He kinda stared at me, incomprehensively, until I pointed to his hand, still grasping my shoulder. Then he snapped out of his daze and returned to normal-Sean, instead of Hulk-Sean.  
  
"Sorry, didn't mean to grab you so hard," he said apologetically.  
  
"S'OK, no harm done." I said cheerfully, massaging my shoulder to get rid of the pins and needles.  
  
But Sean had already turned back to stare at the corner again.  
  
"Thanks for intervening," I tried again, "Paul was just being...Paul. He's kind of obsessed with me, you know? Can't get it into my head that he's a big freak and I don't like him, let alone love him. So he likes to threaten me and scare me. But I can handle myself so, you know, you don't really have to worry about me."  
  
Sean turned to look at me.  
  
"But he was going to hit you," he said, shocked. I shrugged.  
  
"And I would've hit him back. Or worse. No biggie."  
  
"He could've hurt you though," responded Sean, still amazed. He was worse than Jesse, I swear.  
  
I just shrugged again.  
  
"It would've been worse for him. Trust me."  
  
Sean shook his head.  
  
"You're one heck of a girl. Most girls would've screamed or something."  
  
I took offence at that. I mean, sure, some girls would've screamed and cried for the help of a big, strong man. But most girls would've wanted revenge.  
  
"This isn't the fifteenth century, you know. Girls know how to fight back."  
  
Sean just shook his head. Then looked at me hard.  
  
"Are you OK, though? No, shock or anything? He didn't hit you anywhere else, did he?"  
  
"Nah, I'm good. Seriously though, you don't have to worry about me. I've dealt with worse things than Paul Slater. He's alive for one thing."  
  
"I guess. I just got so angry 'cos I thought he was gonna hit you and hurt you. And then what? What if he'd done some real damage? He could've really hurt you."  
  
Sheesh, Sean was worse than Jesse by far.  
  
"I would've been fine." Then, when Sean looked like he was going to protest some more, I said, "Seriously, Sean. I'm fine. If I was in real danger, I would've called Jesse or someone. Now I know to call you. OK? If I'm in trouble, you'll be the first to know."  
  
Sean looked a little relieved at that, and his troubled brow relaxed.  
  
"You shouldn't have to deal with this," he said seriously.  
  
I sighed. Don't I know it.  
  
"Paul's a pain, but it's not too bad I guess-"  
  
"No, not Paul. I meant dealing with the dead. I mean, they're- we're stronger than the living. It would be so easy for a ghost to just...you know. Really hurt you."  
  
I stared at Sean in disbelief.  
  
"We mediators are hard to kill. One ghost once threw me off my house roof into a big ditch, I had a huge bump on my head, but apart from that I was fine. And a bunch of ghosts tried to drown me. They were the same ones that beat me up and put me in hospital with a bunch of broken ribs and other various snapped bones. And that's just the dead! The living I have to deal with! This one guy, he tried to shoot me-" I stopped abruptly as I saw the colour drain out of Sean's face.  
  
He looked positively sick with worry.  
  
"Ah hem, but you know. There are some good points. There's Jesse, for one thing. And you. I get to make some cool friends...until they move on. And I even got a new pet out of one...though whether that's a good thing..."  
  
Sean didn't look convinced.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it Sean. Let's just worry 'bout you moving on up. Once you're up there, you'll completely forget about me, and you'll be living in bliss, for eternity."  
  
Sean just stood there, looking at me like I was a crazy woman. Even I have my doubts about my sanity sometimes.  
  
Then all the classes came pouring out of their rooms as the lunch bell tolled. CeeCee and Adam approached me, telling me about my homework and giving me their notes.  
  
For the rest of the day, though, every time I turned a corner, I saw a faint twinkle of someone dematerialising.  
  
Sean obviously thought Paul was going to pounce and finish off doing whatever he was going to do before Sean interrupted.  
  
It was kinda comforting, though.  
  
Sean was like my guardian angel.  
  
Shame he'd have to leave, sooner or later, I thought bitterly, I know I could do with a guardian angel.  
  
Then I thought of Jesse.  
  
Then back to Sean.  
  
Jesse wasn't so much of a guardian angel, as a reliable friend. Boyfriend, now.  
  
It was settled.  
  
Sean was my new guardian angel. 


	10. Stalker, Talker, Dork

Disclaimer: you know the drill  
  
A/N: OMG, I luv you chickies so much for reviewing!! I am tres sorry its been AGES since I updated but, hey, you know school! They have it in their heads that, for some reason, we have to actually do work and HOMEWORK instead of writing trashy teen stories, I was like "No, Mrs Bob, that is way uncool of you" but alas, she/he ignored my pleas of rest and instead told me to concentrate on something more worth-while, like helping the starved. I told her/him I did – "When I'm hungry, Mrs Bob, I eat. That helps" but again, she/he chose to ignore me.  
  
Mystique Angelique: I LUB LONG REVIEWS!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW??? Seriously, we have a connection, do you feel it? I do. It sparkles. It says, "Woooo". It is soooo possible to love three guys at once, I don't love Sean, however I do love Paul, Jesse and Rob (from Missing). And, there may be a little guy-on-guy action (fighting, btw, nothing dodgy), so stay tuned! I love the whole Jeseapaul – but would you honestly marry a guy named that? Poor guy. Plus your kids would be ashamed of him. Won't somebody think of the children???? You kick ass. Please continue to kick ass.  
  
muzacgirl: I don't even know where the square (soon to become pentagon (I think)) will end up...but do keep reading to find out! I would love to read to find out, but I can't, seems my psychic powers aren't working...damn them  
  
travis'_gurl_iwish: the Suze-Paul romance MAY go somewhere (I dunno if you noticed, I been trying to get Suze appear as if she's like "wait a minute, Paul doesn't have feelings for me...does he?" so she's a bit confused...kinda... Also, Suze said Sean was more of a guardian angle, cos Jesse is now her boyf, so Suze wants to try and get more of a real boyf-girlf thing going on with him, as opposed to the usual ghost-mediator thing they have going on...if that makes any sense at all... And Suze may end up with anyone in the end, but let's consider this, Suze considers Paul to be the fruit that sprang from Satan's loin, Sean is a ghost (and true, so is Jesse but) Jesse has admitted he loves Suze and Suze loves Jesse. But you never know, things may change...especially if Louisa and Paul get their way...  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
After lunch, during the rest of the school day I had a new stalker.  
  
No, not Paul. Which scared me slightly – where was Paul? Whenever he went quiet, it usually meant he was concocting some evil scheme. That guy seriously played me. He either had me on tenterhooks, or he had me relaxed...but still waiting.  
  
Back to my new stalker.  
  
Louisa.  
  
Man, was I beginning to regret taking her in. She had now taken to following me around everywhere. Into my classes, next to me in the corridor. And constantly chitchatting in her annoying chirpy way.  
  
Seriously, this girl would not shut up.  
  
The only reason I didn't smack her in her fast-moving gob was that I was already considered a freak after the whole party incident.  
  
After Sean dematerialised, I stood a little while longer in the breezeway. I was still in shock, to be honest.  
  
I was broken out of my daze by a sharp poke in the ribs and a high pitch, too cheerful "Hey!" I whipped around and found Louisa grinning at me, head cocked to one side, hands on hips. What was she so goddam happy about? She was dead, for Christ's sake! I will never understand the deceased as long as I live, which, judging by the way I live, won't be very long.  
  
I glared at her but she still stood there, this huge plastic Barbie smile on her face. I exhaled gustily then said hi back.  
  
And she continued to stand there.  
  
She wasn't even blinking.  
  
I just stared at her; I leant forward slightly to see if she was just blinking so quickly I couldn't see it.  
  
I started to count.  
  
I mean, even if you're dead, you still blink.  
  
OK, this was getting stupid now.  
  
Blink! Blink you stupid freak, blink!  
  
Come on!  
  
When is this girl ever gonna-  
  
She blinked.  
  
"What classes do you have?" She asked in her chirpy cheerleader manner.  
  
I continued to stare.  
  
OK, now it was me who needed to blink.  
  
Louisa waved her hand in front of me.  
  
"Coo-ey! Susie, you still there?"  
  
I blinked and stood back.  
  
"Uh, I gotta go...you know, classes."  
  
"Can I come?" She gushed out. She looked a little apprehensive at asking.  
  
Taken aback, I quickly agreed. I regretted it instantly. Louisa took it as some sign of us becoming best friends or blood sisters or something. She started talking really fast. Like when I do when I'm nervous.  
  
But I realised she didn't talk fast when she was nervous.  
  
She just talked fast. Full stop.  
  
"I miss school, you know? I had all my friends and stuff and we'd used to have so much fun. Gossiping and passing notes in class. I remember one time, in Chemistry, Marissa caught her hair on fire-" she opened her mouth really wide and raised her eyebrows really high, as if telling me that was the expression I should be wearing. One of complete unconcerned shock it made me want to laugh hysterically. "-and she was screaming and running round, and Claire was running behind her, and they both kinda looked like, oh what's the phrase people use? Oh yeah, headless chickens – I never did get that, I mean, headless chickens? Wouldn't they just stop moving completely?"  
  
I was about to tell her that they wouldn't, but she just continued nattering at me.  
  
"So yeah, our teacher, Mr Greenhorn, he was yelling at them to hit the fire out, when this big guy in our class, Pete, he grabbed a beaker, filled it with water, and then threw it on Marissa. It was so funny! You would not believe."  
  
I didn't.  
  
"School was just so much fun. I really do miss it." I waited expectantly for the words, "This one time, at band camp" but when I realised they weren't coming, I started walking to my class.  
  
Louisa followed.  
  
It went on like this for the rest of the day. She nattered at me like some drugged-up monkey while I was trying to listen to the teacher, answer the teachers when they directed questions at me (which is amazingly hard when I have this leprechaun talking about how she hated algebra).  
  
I whispered to her angrily that it was really hard to concentrate with her talking and she shut up apologetically...  
  
Then started talking again.  
  
CeeCee and Adam gave me really odd looks when I kept nodding at random things they were saying and saying "cool, that's really great" when they started talking about how unfair it was that Adam's parents weren't letting him have a hot tub party, when I was actually trying to reply subtly to Louisa incessant and pointless (and to be frank, boring) chatter.  
  
She even talked to me through the cubicle door when I peed.  
  
Come on! What was this girl on??  
  
When it was the end of the day, I almost died with relief. Surely Louisa would leave me alone and go stalk Paul or something?  
  
(I did actually drop hints that Paul was into that kinda thing – the whole girls-stalking him thing - but she just said, "Oh, but I can do that later")  
  
Unfortunately, it seemed that I had made a friend for life. Or, should that be leech for life?  
  
When I clambered into the car at then end of the day, getting an odd look from Doc as I sighed gustily and made the cross sign with my hand in front of me as I prayed silently to God telling him I would totally chop up the plastic ring things that kill unsuspecting animals, if He would just, I don't know, banish Louisa to the Shadowland?  
  
As Dopey started the engine and I sank into my chair, I heard something that made me want to throw myself out of the moving vehicle.  
  
"But after the party I was telling you about, I totally told Michael that I wasn't into that thing, but you know guys. So then..."  
  
That was one long car ride, let me tell you.  
  
As soon as I got home, even before the car had officially stopped moving, I pelted upstairs and threw myself on the bed.  
  
"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease..." I muttered over and over again. "Don't let her come up here, pleasepleaseplease..."  
  
"Querida?" I heard the tentative voice but continued my mad muttering.  
  
"Susannah?" I felt him plonk his cute Latino butt down next to me on the bed but I didn't stop. One break from me and the Devil Woman would be up here so fast; I feared I would commit suicide.  
  
"Susannah, stop that, please, Susannah." I opened one eye and turned my head away from my pillow so he could see it. I shook my head slightly, but didn't stop my murmurs.  
  
This time, Jesse grabbed me by the shoulders and twisted me round to face him. I was still clutching the pillow stiffly to my face. I peeled it away and looked around.  
  
"Huh?" I realised Jesse had turned me round. I quickly slammed my eyelids closed and continued muttering.  
  
"Pleasepleaseplease...."  
  
"Susannah stop. Now."  
  
I didn't.  
  
Jesse pinched my lips together and I opened my eyes. I tried to ask him what he was doing, but my lips were being forced together by his fingers.  
  
"Are you finished now, Susannah?" I nodded my head and he released me.  
  
"Ow" I said as I massaged my lips. "You'll regret that when I can't kiss you because you battered my delicate, beautiful lips." Jesse just cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"Why were you doing that?" He asked.  
  
"Doing what?" I asked back.  
  
"Doing –" he waved his arm about vaguely, "-that. Your pleases."  
  
"Oh, well, I've picked up a bit of a stalker." Jesse' face darkened. "Slater" he growled.  
  
"What? No no no no, although, he did try and hit me after he cornered me today. But not that. It was-" Just as I was about to say her name, the thing herself materialised next to the bed.  
  
"Susie!" She squealed, "Oh my God, I've been looking all over for you! Where did you disappear to? I didn't finish telling you about the time Marissa bought this completely heinous top from- Oh hello, and who are you?" She stopped mid-sentence and adopted her husky voice to talk to Jesse.  
  
Jesse looked at me with a raised eyebrow, which he quickly lowered to greet Louisa.  
  
"Hello, my name is Jesse." He was such a gentleman. My gentleman.  
  
"Why hello Jesse, I'm Louisa. It's so nice to meet you," she leant forward to shake hands with Jesse, conveniently giving him a good view down her top. Like she had anything to show, I thought cattily. Then I felt bad for being mean. Then I didn't when she looked Jesse up and down, real slow and deliberately, and then licked her lips.  
  
I sat up, sharpish.  
  
"Jesse, this is the other person I'm trying to mediate," I said calmly, trying to hide the fury that was pulsing through me.  
  
"Oh," Jesse smiled. Then he hooked his arm round me and kissed me on top of my forehead.  
  
Ha!  
  
Louisa looked a bit shocked, then a bit angry, then just plain devilish. I knew that look.  
  
Bitch.  
  
Like she could get Jesse away from me.  
  
Could she?  
  
No. No, she couldn't.  
  
...  
  
Suddenly Sean materialised next to Louisa. Could this day get any more complicated???  
  
I sighed dejectedly. "Hey Sean, join the party." He looked from Jesse to Louisa to me, and a frown appeared on his pretty little face.  
  
"Sorry, am I interrupting something?" Louisa let out a slight squeal then said, "Susie, how come all your friends are so good-looking? And how come they're all after you?" OK, I got slightly offended at that last comment she made. She kinda said it scornfully. I mean, sure, I may never win Miss America (do I look like I want to?) but I have nice hair, a nice bod, and a nice face. I'm not pug. I'm no raving beauty. I'm perfectly fine.  
  
When I saw Jesse's face after what she said about them all being after me, and I saw him glare at Sean, the offended part of me died down and I laughed nervously.  
  
"They're not after me, Louisa. What are you talking about? Haha."  
  
And can I just say, that was meant to be rhetorical. She was not supposed to start counting them off on her fingers.  
  
"Well, let me see. There's Paul. And you can't say that he's not good- looking," she laughed and looked at me, expecting me to answer. I glanced at Sean and Jesse. Neither looked particularly amused.  
  
I laughed nervously again and then said, "Well, you know," but obviously this wasn't a good enough answer. "I supposed he's good-looking. Although, I have seen, and met, better," I glanced meaningfully at Jesse, then felt guilty and glanced at Sean, but then I felt the glare of Jesse and smiled forcefully at him.  
  
My life would make great day-time tele. Louisa continued.  
  
"Then there's Jesse, here," she smiled angelical at him. You could see the envy, disbelief, and hatred at the fact that I had him. "I don't know what's going on with you and Jesse here, so please, correct me if I'm wrong," she turned her sickly smile to me which briefly turned into a grimace when her eyes met mine, then turned back into a smile when she looked at Jesse. "But you two seem like, maybe, you're a couple? Please please, tell me if I'm completely wrong or out of line or something..."  
  
She looked hopefully between Jesse and I.  
  
I smiled victoriously.  
  
"No no," I reassured her, "we are a 'couple', as you say." I smiled warmly at Jesse who looked a little confused.  
  
Louisa's face was contorted with disbelief and sheer incredulity.  
  
"But-but he's a ghost." The smile on her face was now so forced it looked as if she would have to staple it on soon it was that hard to keep up.  
  
I smiled forcedly back at her.  
  
"Yes. I had noticed that." I said through gritted teeth.  
  
"He's dead." OK, now this was just getting rude, and annoying.  
  
"Yes." My patience was fading rapidly.  
  
"You're alive." She pointed accusingly at me.  
  
"I am indeed."  
  
"But, you're alive. And he's dead." She repeated.  
  
"I think we've established that, Louisa. Jesse is a ghost. I am not. Ghost," I pointed to Jesse, "Not," I pointed to myself. "Ghost – not, ghost – not," I did this action several times, just to make sure it had sank into her tiny little mind.  
  
It hadn't.  
  
"But how are you guys gonna, like, make out and stuff?" She blurted out.  
  
OK, that took me by surprise.  
  
"Urm, like normal couples do?" My patience by now had gone and my fist was twitching by my side.  
  
"How are you gonna go on dates?" She asked again.  
  
I had to physically sit on my fist to stop it from racing into her annoying face.  
  
"We won't. We will just stay at home, and have fun there."  
  
"But, he's dead!"  
  
I lunged forward and she squealed and dematerialised...only to materialise cowering behind Sean. Jesse caught me around the waist before I fell off. My fist is like a bloodthirsty dog. When it gets the scent of blood, I just can't control it. My fist leads me, not the other way around.  
  
And I like it that way, thank you very much.  
  
"I think we have established the fact that Jesse and I are very much opposites in the world of living and dead, Louisa." Jesse was gripping a struggling me round the waist and his voice was a very forced calm.  
  
I counted to ten like mum's therapist had told me and took some very deep breaths. I stopped trying to break free of Jesse's grip and sat down on my haunches slowly. I took one more deep breath then looked at Louisa.  
  
"Jesse and I are a couple. And that's the end of it, Louisa. No if's, no but's. Just-a-couple." I talked slowly as if she were a toddler.  
  
"Fine," she pouted, then linked arms with Sean and smiled sweetly up at him, "it's just a bit odd, isn't it?" You're telling me.  
  
Sean coughed lightly and we all looked up him.  
  
"I was just wondering, Father Dominic said that we should start discussing how to move on and stuff. Maybe we should start?" I smiled appreciatively at him. He was always so calm and collected.  
  
Before I could speak, Louisa cut in and clung to Sean harder. "You know, Sean, seeing as we're both dead and we're both going through the same thing, maybe we should, you know, sit down and have a quiet chat. Just the two of us. Share stories. Get to know each other a little better," she rubbed herself lightly against him and bit her lip.  
  
Per-lease. How obvious could this girl get. She was starting to piss me off, majorly. First she was rubbing herself up against Paul, and now Sean! Had she no restraint or self-respect?  
  
"Sean's been going through a really tough time, Louisa, he probably just wants to be on his own right now," my words were laced with meaning, but Louisa continued to gaze up at him, her big blue eyes getting bigger.  
  
"Oh, poor baby. Would you like to talk about it? A shoulder to cry on? I'm always here for you, Sean, you do know that, don't you? If Susie's ever too busy to help you, you just come to me, OK?" She was rubbing his shoulder with her hand. Sean looked quite startled.  
  
"If Sean ever needs to talk, I would never be too busy to listen to him, Louisa. He knows that. Any time. That's what I'm here for." OK, even I could here the anger in my voice. Jesse shot me a look but I was staring hard at Louisa, who was gazing up at Sean...who was staring hard at me.  
  
Could my life be any more complicated???  
  
Just then, Andy yelled up for dinner.  
  
"Thanks Suze, that means a lot to me," Sean smiled gratefully at me. Then he felt the tug at his is arm and saw Louisa looking up at him expectantly. "Oh, and-and you Louise."  
  
"Louis-a," she replied sourly. Then she dematerialised with a huff.  
  
Sean grinned at me then winked.  
  
"See ya," he said, then was gone to, in a haze of twinkling blue and white.  
  
I sighed contentedly.  
  
As I was clambering off my bed, I heard a slight humming noise. I turned round and saw my mirror shaking. I shot Jesse a startled look, he was staring lividly at where Sean had been standing. His scar was white as his shirt.  
  
"Jesse! What are you doing? Stop right now!" Jesse turned slowly to look at me.  
  
"You seem to be very protective of this Sean, querida."  
  
OK, I did not like the way he said that 'querida'. Kinda, accusatively.  
  
"What? He's going through a tough time! His girlfriend effectively cheated on him! I don't think he needs a sap like Louisa hanging onto him and pressuring him! I'm just doing my job!"  
  
"Your job, Susannah, is to help trapped souls move on. Not worry about their love lives! Sean can cope on his own."  
  
"I'm just trying to make it easier for him! He's had it hard, Jesse, and he's being really nice and polite to me. Like today, when Paul was hassling me, he got really upset and was totally about to pound on him, for me. So I'm just trying to act a little graciously. That's all! Sean is a good guy. A good ghost. And I haven't met one of them in a long time." I pointed this out.  
  
Then I saw the look of open hurt on Jesse's face.  
  
"Oh, Jesse, I didn't mean-"  
  
"Paul was hassling you again?" He asked I a flat voice, completely ignoring my pleas.  
  
"Well – yes, kinda. But like I said-"  
  
"And Sean helped you?" He continued in his monotone.  
  
"Ye-yeah..."  
  
Jesse looked at me piercingly.  
  
"I don't want you to see Sean. I'm going to tell Father D to help him. You can help Louisa." I was flabbergasted.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You heard, Susannah." The mirror had stopped shaking, but with all the anger I was feeling, I bet I could've made it shake myself.  
  
"No." Now it was Jesse's turn to be flabbergasted.  
  
"Pardon?" His eyes lit up again and flashed with anger.  
  
"You heard. I am going to continue helping Sean. He's my ghost. He came to me for help. He trusts me, Jesse, he likes me and confides in me. I'm going to help him, and you can't stop me." I stood defiantly.  
  
The mirror started shaking again and Jesse stood up on the other side of my bed. Which, might I add, was starting to shake to...  
  
I swallowed. It was a teensy bit scary.  
  
Before either Jesse or I could say anything though, my mum called upstairs.  
  
"Susie, dinner! Now!"  
  
I stared at Jesse for a split second longer, than whipped around and stormed out of my room with a flurry. I didn't turn around to see if Jesse was still there or not. I didn't care. I just slammed my door, and went downstairs. Leaving a trail of anger, hanging like a mist behind me.  
  
I had never been so angry with Jesse in my life.  
  
So this is what your first couple's row is like, huh? 


	11. Kiss And Make Up

Disclaimer: Yeah, cos I really write like Meg Cabot. Dumbasses. (please don't hurt me)  
  
Nice Hayley: Every couple has fights, Jesse and Suze are soooo not gonna get away from their's! Moowhahahahahaaa  
  
reesespeices88: could your name be any odder? Of course I'm going to fix all the problems up............................................... ;-D  
  
muzacgirl: I would have socked Louisa as soon as I met her, but then again, I do know what's gonna happen in this story...so I have reason to hate her. And I don't like Sean that much either. But again, I know what he's gonna do later on in this story. I love having power. Hehehehe  
  
Teen Psycho: HOW MANY NAMES DO YOU NEED???  
  
Chayter: I like you. Please keep reviewing! Hehe  
  
Cheerleader Camp Leader: STAY AWAY FROM ME, JEAN!!!! AND STOP MOCKING ME AND EVERYONE ELSE!!!!!! I mean it, stay away!! Stop your judgement..  
  
TT: HALLO TIAN. Hehehe. Thank you.  
  
Mystique Angelique: now there's a name I can remember (it rhymes). I NEED FLUFF TOO. And I have the power to get fluff...excellent

* * *

After a silent dinner – I wasn't in the mood for talking and answered any questions directed at me with grunts. Until eventually my mom got so angry with me she just told me off for spoiling the mood and made me do the dishes – I stormed upstairs and stopped abruptly as I slammed my door shut behind me.  
  
"Hey Suze," Sean had a sheepish smile on his oh-so nice face. I hated his ex-girlfriend.  
  
"Hey Sean." I said tiredly and straddled my desk chair. "What's up?"  
  
Sean fidgeted with his hands a little whilst staring at his shoes.  
  
"Sean?" He was asking oddly.  
  
He looked up at me with a troubled gaze. "I-I was just wondering how you are?" He seemed a bit anxious.  
  
I growled as I had flashbacks of Jesse and me arguing.  
  
"Not so good." I scowled at the window seat where Jesse usually sat. Spike was curled up there, his little legs twitching and his tail swishing. Occasionally a draft would blow through my open window and his ears would flinch.  
  
Oh to be cat, I thought wistfully.  
  
"Oh?" Sean raised his eyebrows in concern and sat opposite me on my bed. I manoeuvred my chair so I was directly opposite him.  
  
"Yeah, Jesse and I had a bit of a bust up." I fixed my gaze on Sean's face. It was really a nice face. His chin was perfect – no unwanted dimples, not too pointy, not too blunt, his cheekbones were etched onto his face, the kind you want to run your fingers along. His lips were the kind that looked as though God had made them out of the softest material in the world, they were full – but not too full - somewhat wide, they were nicely shaped and they were a gently pinkish shade.  
  
I realised I'd been staring at his lips a bit too long and, reluctantly, lifted my gaze to his eyes...only to drag them down to the floor when I saw the naked concern they held for me.  
  
"Yeah, he, um, he disagrees on some of my mediating techniques," suddenly I felt very embarrassed and on show. I had nowhere to hide from Sean's penetrable looks. And how was I supposed to tell him that Jesse and I had fallen out because of him?  
  
I lifted my eyes from the floor. They travelled up Sean's long, muscly, jean-clad legs, the kind of jeans that fitted perfectly, showing off every...muscle...  
  
I coughed in disgust as I thought that last thought and ducked my head again to hide the glowing scarletness of it.  
  
I love Jesse I love Jesse I love Jesse.... "I can't really blame him," Sean said, ignoring my embarrassment, "I mean, it's a pretty dangerous job. Especially for you." That last remark made me look up sharply.  
  
"What do you mean, 'especially for me'? Cos, just because I'm a woman, doesn't mean I'm any less capable than you men, in fact, I reckon I'm stronger. Women are much more gentle and easier to confide in than men. And we're subtler. And more agile. I can move quickly and can fight just as well as any guy."  
  
Sean appeared very scared at my angry ramblings.  
  
"No! No that's not what I meant! I meant that, cos you're really pretty and...feminine...lots of guys would be only too willing to...take advantage...and stuff..." Suddenly the roles were reversed. Sean was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassed.  
  
And I was just plain confused.  
  
"Like Paul." He said. Oh, so that's what he meant.  
  
"Oh, Paul's just got a little crush on me. Like I said, it's nothing to worry about. And if any other guy comes near me, I just quick him in the family jewels." Sean winced as I said the last bit and his hands twitched slightly and subtly moved over his...ah hem...area...  
  
I hid my smirk with a cough and turned my head.  
  
"Anyway," I said, turning my head back to look at him, "I can handle Paul. He says he's in love with me, but I reckon he just wants to get into my pants cos I'm the only girl who hasn't wanted to get into his."  
  
OK, I cannot believe I just said that.  
  
I was shocked...but I carried on talking.  
  
Where was this coming from?  
  
It was like, Sean had this magnet inside him...and it was drawing out all my feelings on the matter...all the things I'd never said.  
  
I kept on talking, and Sean kept on listening.  
  
"I'm the only girl he's met who hasn't been so...easy. And I think, to him, it's kind of a turn on when I hit him and try and get him off me. Not that I do that to turn him on!" I reassured Sean hurriedly. I did so not want to give Sean the wrong impression.  
  
He just nodded and smiled to let me continue.  
  
So I did.  
  
"I just can't be too...forceful...to him, otherwise he might," I swallowed hard, "exorcise Jesse."  
  
"And you don't want that?"  
  
"Of course not!" I stared at Sean. He stared back. "When Paul last exorcised Jesse, I had to go back into Shadowland – that's where ghosts go before they move on – and I had to get him myself. And then Paul cut my rope, so I couldn't get back down to earth. And he stood there and laughed...laughed as Jesse ad I remained stuck there..." I curled my legs up into my chest as I remembered my nightmares I had – and still do have.  
  
"Paul sounds like someone you don't wanna get on the wrong side of," Sean put in. I lifted my gaze to him.  
  
"Duh," I said without feeling. Then a thought struck me. And I bolt of fear shot though my heart.  
  
"Oh my God...Oh. My. God..."  
  
"Suze...Suze! Are you OK? Suze?" I looked at Sean, but my eyes didn't see him.  
  
"He's going to exorcise you..."  
  
"What?" My eyes focused on Sean has his hand gripped my chin. Hard. He had leapt off the bed and was crouched in front of me, his big brown eyes full of apprehension.  
  
"Paul...he-he doesn't like it when people – ghosts – upset him...I think...I think he's going to exorcise you." I searched his eyes for fear.  
  
And found none.  
  
Sean just sighed and dropped his hand. He had stopped gripping my chin and had briefly stroked my cheek. I hadn't even noticed. But now I could feel the hot burning feeling where he had touched me.  
  
The same hot burning feeling I got whenever Paul or Jesse touched me.  
  
I blinked and realised I had a tear in my eye.  
  
"Aren't you even a little bit worried? Or scared?"  
  
"Nah, it doesn't matter really. My life is over, I'm dead. It doesn't really matter where I go anymore."  
  
"But to be exorcised!" I didn't understand. Being exorcised would be...well, it would be final. And evil. It would send you to purgatory.  
  
Sean just smiled dejectedly.  
  
"Suze, I think you need to stop worrying about the dead, and start caring more about living. I can see why Jesse wouldn't like you mediating all your life. If I were your boyfriend..." Sean trailed off, and an almost wishful look passed over his face.  
  
Or maybe it was my imagination?  
  
"If I were your boyfriend, I don't think I'd ever let you go. I wouldn't be able to. I'd be so scared of what would happen." He gave a bitter laugh and continued, "I'm not even your boyfriend now, but I still got scared when I saw that Paul guy about to hit you. I couldn't bear to see you get hurt."  
  
His eyes showed such honesty, I was speechless. I was so shocked.  
  
The only other guy who had shown me such...care...was Jesse. And Jesse was in love with me.  
  
But Sean...?  
  
Why did he care so much?  
  
And why did I care so much about how he felt for me?  
  
"I told you," I said in a gentle voice, "I can handle Paul. And the dead."  
  
Sean just shook his head.  
  
"I can't believe Jesse doesn't just follow you around all day. To help you with things like Paul, and angry ghosts."  
  
Before I could defend Jesse, a deep voice spoke from my window seat. As I looked over to the window seat, I realised how dark it was. But I didn't dare clap my hands to turn on my lights. I didn't want to break the quiet. I realised Sean and I must have been whispering.  
  
"If you knew Susannah, you would know she gets very angry at being protected." Jesse's voice was eloquent with anger and quiet forcefulness.  
  
Sean stood up hastily.  
  
"O-of course," he stuttered. Jesse's presence was incredibly intimidating.  
  
"And if you knew Susannah, you would also know she hates it when people, and ghosts, interfere with her work." His eyes shot to mine. "As she made only too clear to me earlier this evening."  
  
I gulped and looked down.  
  
"How long have you been sat there, Jesse?" I asked tentatively. I had never seen him in this kind of mood before, it was scary and commanding.  
  
His eyes pierced mine as I looked up at him.  
  
"Long enough," was all he said. I felt guilty and dirty. As if I had just been caught cheating on my boyfriend. I think Sean felt the same.  
  
"I'm-I'm going to go now. Good bye, Suze," Sean muttered before dematerialising.  
  
Jesse and I sat in silence. He was looking at the wall behind my head and I was looking at his face.  
  
It was emotionless. And hard.  
  
Suddenly I couldn't bear it anymore.  
  
"I'm sorry Jesse." I said in a quiet voice. Suddenly I felt so bad, so guilty. Sean made me realise what I put Jesse through, everyday. Every ghost I had to mediate. I choked down a sob. "I didn't know how hard it was for you, for me to be a mediator and you to just watch. I am sorry."  
  
I physically felt Jesse's anger melt away. It was as if someone had poured hot water all over me, washing off the frost that had been clinging to my skin and heart.  
  
"No, I'm sorry, querida. I was overreacting. It is your God-given duty to help these people. After I spoke with Father Dominic, I realised I was being overprotective. The Padre told me so. He told me you would be safer knowing I was with you, not against you. I don't want to distract you. I don't want to put you I any danger."  
  
I stood up and walked over to Jesse.  
  
When I reached him he enveloped me in his arms, and we stood for hours and an embrace so strong, it felt as though all the world could be shaking apart, and we would still stand there. Holding each other tightly.  
  
"I love you, querida," Jesse whispered into my hair. Suddenly I felt thankful for all those years I've had to deal with my incumbent mediating. If I hadn't been given this job, I would never have met Jesse. I would never have fallen in love.  
  
"I love you, Jesse."  
  
I glanced at my clock while still wrapped up in Jesse's arms.  
  
"Shit!" Well, I pretty much ruined the mood there. I ran over to my desk and searched it.  
  
"Querida?" I felt Jesse come up behind me.  
  
"I have a huge essay due in tomorrow and it's already tomorrow!"  
  
I turned around and saw utter perplexity in Jesse eyes. I would've wanted to kiss his adorable face he looked so cute, if I didn't feel so daunted at the prospect of not having done my essay. I had already been told off three times for not doing my essays, one more time, they'd threatened, and I would be sent to Father D, have a letter sent to my parents (and mom is very strict when it comes to homework), and I would get God knows how many weeks of detention.  
  
That wouldn't interfere in my ghost-busting duties much.  
  
"Jesse, it's midnight! I have an essay due in today, and I haven't done it!"  
  
"Oh," was all he said. I found my textbook, grabbed some paper, grabbed a pen, and started scribbling my opinions down. God knows what I wrote. I just wrote. I wrote for two hours...then fell asleep, jumbling half my work together with my drool.  
  
No wonder Jesse can't resist me.  
  
I woke up to Doc's incessant knocking at my door.  
  
"Suze! Suze, hurry up, we're leaving!" I woke with a start and a slurred, "Mwurgh?" Then I saw my alarm clock and jumped up. Consequently knocking over my chair, hitting my hand hard on my wooden bed frame, and standing on something sharp.  
  
A stream of curses followed by a sharp, "Susannah!" I didn't need to see who said that.  
  
"Not now Jesse," I muttered as I ran into my bathroom to grab my toothbrush. After having secured a toothpasted toothbrush in my mouth, I ran back out of my bathroom with it still there. I grabbed some clothes from my drawer, and stripped off the clothes I had fallen asleep in.  
  
"Susannah!" Screeched a rather shocked Jesse as I yanked off my jeans and T- shirt. I almost told him not to be such a prude, but almost choked on my toothbrush when I tried.  
  
Once I was dressed, I snatched my schoolbag, my hairbrush and some essential make-up, threw my toothbrush out of my mouth, then ran downstairs. I jumped into the car just as it was pulling out of the drive. Dopey wasn't even going to stop if Doc hadn't bit him.  
  
And then we were at the Academy.  
  
And I realised, after all that late night work, I had forgotten my essay. To add to that, my stream of curses and vicious throw of my bag at the row of lockers meant a passing sister gave me a detention.  
  
Perfect.  
  
So I wasn't in the mood to be teased by Paul. Or Louisa – who had taken a sudden dislike to me.  
  
Why could my life never be easy-going? Or, at least, normal?  
  
What I didn't realise, was the extent Louisa's hatred towards me went.  
  
I sat in homeroom, calmly applying my make-up, with CeeCee nattering on beside me in a hushed voice about ghosts, mediators, and the afterlife. Ever since she found out about my 'ghost thing', as she calls it, she hasn't stopped talking to me about how different religions had different versions of the afterlife.  
  
Yeah, thanks CeeCee.  
  
I was interrupted from my mascara application by a tap on my knee. I looked up from my mirror and saw an ever-vivacious Louisa standing over me.  
  
"Can I talk to you?" She whispered, rather unnecessarily, I thought, seeing as no one except me could hear her.  
  
Lucky me.  
  
I nodded, gave myself one last appraising look in my mirror, told Cee I'd be right back, and then walked out into the breezeway.  
  
I waited expectantly for Louisa to start. She looked quite tense.  
  
"'Sup, Lulu?" I started after she just fidgeted awhile.  
  
She scowled.  
  
"It's Louisa. Not Lulu." I was about to bite back that I was Suze, not Susie, but I pursed my lips and waited patiently.  
  
Alright, patiently enough for me. I admit; I did tap my foot rather viciously.  
  
"I was just wondering, has...has Sean said anything to you?" I stood there baffled. "About me, I mean."  
  
Ah. Comprehension dawned on me. I almost laughed out loud.  
  
"Sorry, Louisa," I lied, "He hasn't mentioned you to me, at all."  
  
Instead of disappointment flooding her features, how any normal person would react, she grew very, very angry. Her lips thinned dangerously and her hair seemed to go slightly static – as if her anger was making it stand out from her head...Her blue went black – I am not joking, you know in Finding Nemo, when Bruce the shark's eyes go from blue to black when he got hungry – and her whole body seemed to shake.  
  
All because some guy she only just met doesn't like her?  
  
That makes sense.  
  
Not.  
  
I put my arm out to rest it on her shoulder. She looked at me, and daggers flew from her eyes.  
  
"I guess I should've known you'd try to steal him form me. Just like that bitch stole Harry from me. Well you won't get away with it. Sean's going to be mine. Not yours. And Paul's going to be mine too. And after him, Jesse. And you'll be left with no one. And I will have everyone."  
  
Whoa, way to overreact, I thought as she dematerialised.  
  
"And Paul isn't mine!" I yelled into the empty breezeway.  
  
Then another thought struck me.  
  
"And neither is Sean!" I yelled hurriedly.  
  
Then I walked into back into homeroom.  
  
At lunchtime, Paul came up to me.  
  
"Suze, I need to talk to you. Now. Urgently. In private." He added, as CeeCee gave him and odd look, and Adam opened his mouth to object.  
  
I yanked Paul's hand off my arm and followed him, quietly fermenting.  
  
"What? What Paul?" Like I said, I wasn't in a happy mood today. And there was this one bit off hair that wouldn't stay in place. Seriously. It kept flicking out. It was so tempting jus to chop it off.  
  
Paul grabbed my shoulders and he had an urgent look in his eyes as they searched mine.  
  
"Suze, you have to stay away from Louisa. I'm not kidding. Just – stay away."  
  
I stared at him with incredulity. What was this guy on? I shrugged his hands off my shoulders. They didn't come off. So I pulled them off with my hands...only to find he wouldn't let go of my hands.  
  
"Why, exactly, would I want to be doing that? Apart from the fact she's annoying the hell outta me."  
  
"Because she's going to kill you!"  
  
And for a second, I almost believed him.  
  
Almost.  
  
"Yeah, whatever Paul. And all the dead people are going to climb out of their graves as zombies. Get real Paul."  
  
"Did- did she seem angry with you? At all? For any reason?" He asked in a rush.  
  
I just stared at him.  
  
"Come on Suze, think! Please, it's important."  
  
I sighed and rolled my eyes. My hands were getting sweaty from Paul gripping them so hard.  
  
Then I remembered. How could I forget? It was only this morning that Louisa had kindly threatened to steal Jesse from me. And Sean and Paul.  
  
Hmm.  
  
"Alright alright," I snapped when Paul started shaking my hands roughly. "She did get in a bit of a tiff with me. Maybe if you paid more attention to her though, you know, you are so arrogant sometimes. You think, just because I'm so good looking and hot, I can treat girls like objects. Well, news just in Paul, you can't."  
  
"You think I'm good looking?" He stated simply.  
  
I blushed a little and looked down.  
  
"Well, you know, you can't exactly say you're ugly..."  
  
"And hot?"  
  
OK, now I was a little peeved. Where had all the urgency gone?  
  
"Paul, why are you asking all these questions?"  
  
"Well, I think it'll help you reveal your true feelings to me, that you do actually like me. I mean, if you think-" I cut him off.  
  
"No! Why were you asking questions about Louisa?" He seemed a little bit confused then realisation dawned on his face.  
  
"Suze, you need to stay away from her. OK? Just, stay away. Or, better yet, stay near me. All day. Promise me, Suze?" He looked so desperate I almost agreed.  
  
Almost.  
  
"What? Are you out of your tiny little mind? Of course I'm not going to hang around with you all day! Wait a minute," a thought struck me suddenly, "What have you done with Jesse? Paul, I swear to God, if you have hurt him- "  
  
"If you don't do as I say, you're the one who's going to get hurt, Suze!"  
  
Was that a threat? Because, let me tell you, Suze Simon does not take well to threats.  
  
"Right, Paul, I've had enough." I yanked my hands out of his, and stormed off.  
  
That guy had some nerve. But, why was he acting so concerned about whether Louisa was angry with me or not? He acts all worried, and then threatens me?!  
  
And I had missed lunch again because of him.  
  
What I didn't realise was, that if I had listened to what he was trying to tell me, I would've realised he wasn't threatening me...he was trying to save my life... 


	12. And Another One Bites The Dust

This chappie is short. Very short compared to my chappies. But I like it. MOOWAHHAHAA.  
  
Enjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: Shhhh...

* * *

Louisa came up to me just as I was packing my bag with books from my locker in the breezeway. It was the end of the day and I was dying to get home to Jesse. I felt a tap-tap-tap on my shoulder and I spun round.  
  
"Hi!" Louisa squealed. I grunted in reply and shouldered my bag, heading out to the car park.  
  
"Um, could I...could I talk to you?" She stammered, I groaned then snapped, "Make it quick." She looked down and said, "Oh, but...I really would like to talk to you now...it's kinda urgent...we could walk home while chatting, if it would be any easier?" I stared at her.  
  
"Alright," I said dejectedly. "Lemme just tell Brad." So I slouched over to the car and informed Dopey I would be walking home because "it is such a lovely day." Then I slung my bag into the car, and stalked back over to Louisa. She grinned and started walking to the gates briskly. I growled and followed.  
  
We walked quite a while in silence. Odd, I thought, isn't the reason we're walking because she wanted to talk? But when I glanced at her, she didn't look like she was in a talking mood. Her face was grim and her mouth was a straight, thin line. In fact, she looked kinda annoyed. I frowned and turned away, concentrating on not being caught unawares by lurking poison oak.  
  
You never know.  
  
"So..." I began after a mile, "Anything in particular bothering you?" I turned my head towards Louisa and found her lips had thinned even more. She stopped abruptly.  
  
"Actually, Susie, there is."  
  
"Suze," I corrected snappily. I didn't like her tone of voice. It was hot, I was tired, and I was aching for Jesse. So what was this bitch in such a mood for?  
  
"Whatever, bitch." Okay, that got my attention.  
  
"What did you just-"  
  
"I am fed up of you thinking you are better than me, just because you are alive. You think you can steal all those guys from me? You can't. I am prettier than you. Every guy wants me. Not you Susie, me. Paul is mine. Sean is mine. Jesse is mine."  
  
Her lips were almost invisible and her eyes were slits. Her fists were also shaking uncontrollably – spasming out and hitting her thighs hard. Not that she noticed.  
  
The loose pavement slabs were also quivering on the floor. And a flock of bird flew from various tree along the roads.  
  
Uh oh.  
  
"One: Paul is not mine. He never will be. I don't want him to be. Just because he doesn't want you, doesn't mean it's my fault. It's your fault for being so clingy and..." I searched for the right word, "slutty."  
  
Her nose lifted at one corner and she snarled.  
  
"Two: Sean is not mine either. And, no offence, I don't think you're his type. He prefers brunettes."  
  
The trees along the side-walk were shaking dangerously.  
  
"Three: Jesse is mine. You will never have Jesse, OK? Hands off. And finally: I don't think I'm better than you because I'm alive. I know I'm better than you because I have standards."  
  
Like I said, I wasn't in the best of moods.  
  
With an almighty roar, the freak-bitch grabbed my arm – hard, it felt like someone had wrapped a burning cloth around my arm – and hurled me into the road.  
  
Normally, this would've pissed me off majorly, but it would've been OK. You know? Nothing too bad. Like I said, we mediators recover quickly from accidents and we don't get hurt easily.  
  
I landed with a thud and a surprised yelp in the road. I had a brief second to catch Louisa waving sadistically at me, her head tilted to one side, before the pickup hit me.  
  
And everything went black.  
  
We mediators recover quickly from accidents...  
  
...  
  
Not anymore. 


	13. I'm Rigor Mortis, Can I Be Your Friend?

Disclaimer: I lied, I AM MEG CABOT!!! spots men in black... please don't hurt me... what-what are you doing? No! AAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!  
  
A/N: Yo fellow FanFictolians. Have you guys read the preview of M.C's 6th Mediator book? Whoa, heavy stuff, man. Seriously, I'm actually dreading reading the book.  
  
Also, I am currently reading these KICK-ASS books by MELINDA METZ (who wrote Roswell High but we will ignore that) they are called FINGERPRINTS and they are SOOOO like Mediator and Missing by M.C. Seriously. PLEASE check them out. If you go on M.C's website (www.megcabot.com strangely enough) and you click the selection book in the TOP RIGHT CORNER, then click on FINGERPTINTS and check them out.  
  
PLEASE CHECK THEM OUT. THEY ARE SERIOUSLY GOOD. I'm tinkering on the edge of obsession for these books...  
  
Nice Hayley: Hahaha, take a chill pill, all will be sorted out...moowahaha (expect fight scenes)  
  
reesespeices88: hahaha but Suze CAN be dead...for I have the power to make it so...  
  
kewine: I updated.  
  
RealGrl27: Aw, you got your friend to read me too! Yay!  
  
Shilrley Holmes: Yes...I AM Suze...  
  
Mystique Angelique: Aw, I wish I could make you into a doll and carry you about in my pocket. Sure, I would get odd looks, but it would be fun. And of course I have it in for Suze – SHE HAS A 2 (now 3 thanks to me) HOT GUYS AFTER HER. How many do I have? NONE. Count 'em. NONE. Please continue to kick-ass, not only in reviews, but also in your stories.  
  
Julie: Ah, a simple name is so refreshing.  
  
Rissa: My chappie was so great you wrote it twice.  
  
BloodyRayne: Yes plz updating  
  
My head was swimming and body felt numb.

* * *

Where was I? And what was with my body? Seriously, it felt like I was floating on candy floss. It felt...nice, but odd.  
  
I decided to try to open my eyes, have a look around. My mind was kinda blank, but kinda splodgy too. It was like, someone had started a water painting right inside my head, and I had no idea what they were painting but it was all that I could see, smell, hear, thin about. Again, nice, but odd. And scary.  
  
I tried to lift my eyelids...but found all I could was strain my eyebrows way up with the effort. Could you pull a muscle in your eyebrows?  
  
Then my eyes suddenly shot open...  
  
Only to find I had to close them because of all the white.  
  
Ow.  
  
I opened them again tentatively and my eyes grew used to the brightness. I glanced around and started when I found a worried face leaning over me. A very cute, worried face, I might add.  
  
"Susannah! Susannah, can you hear me?" He, whoever he was, lifted his hand to my face and touched my cheek. I jerked my head away and instantly regretted it. Man, it must have been some kegger party for me to get such a hangover.  
  
The guy seemed a little shocked at my jerking back from him and his dark eyebrows furrowed themselves a little – still looking cute – and I noticed a scar running through one of them, but I didn't care. Who the hell was he, anyway?  
  
I tore my eyes away from his deep, dark ones – which were full of concern and - love? - for some reason – and searched the room for any clue as to where I was. All I saw was white. I brought my gaze to my feet and sore fog. Odd. Thick fog was swirling all around my ankles. It was everywhere. I shuddered. I recognised it somehow...from somewhere...  
  
"Am I dead?" I suddenly asked. I mean, I could be. I could see no sign of life, except for the cute odd guy next to me, but he was glowing strangely, and no living, breathing person glows.  
  
The guy looked a little uncomfortable. His eyes had a reflecting sheen over them. Was he...crying? His eyes skittered about for a while and a muscle was straining in his neck. He ran his hand though his crispy black hair then turned his searing eyes to mine, they were flooded with so much care I felt as though it would come spilling out. Just seeing all that emotion made me feel warm and safe. But that was inside, deep inside. Outside was still a cold, hard, scared shell.  
  
His hand lifted to my cheek again, this time I didn't jerk away.  
  
"Querida, my beautiful querida," he whispered. A tear fell down his handsome face.  
  
The truth hit me like a huge wave, drenching me to my bones with chill. It soaked and seeped in, not leaving a single bit of me warm or hopeful.  
  
"No...no, I'm not. I'm alive. I can't be dead. I want my mom. I want my dad. Anyone. Please!" I was jabbering uselessly, on the verge of hysterics. I wasn't dead. "Dad! Mom!" My eyes darted around the whiteness, avoiding the strange man with tearful eyes.  
  
Then I looked at him.  
  
Straight in the eye.  
  
"I don't want to be dead," I whispered.  
  
And then I woke up.  
  
"Mom..." My throat was dry and felt as though it had bramble lining it. Oh God, I hadn't swallowed any poison oak had I? I check my hands for any gross pus-filled mountains. There were none, but...  
  
There were branches of wires and tubes sticking out of me, I looked like some kind of plastic tree.  
  
And where were my clothes? I was wearing a thin blue gown thing. Ew.  
  
Then I noticed all the other machines. The ones bleeping and glowing, with lines, dots, and stats staring back at me.  
  
"What the hell?" I tried to say, but my mouth was like cotton wool, the roof of my mouth felt like a towel, and my tongue felt as though it had sand glued to it.  
  
"Susie? Susie, are you awake? Oh my God! Brad, go get the doctor! Susie, can you hear me?" My eyes rested on a frantic figure leaning over me with a million emotions dancing on her face.  
  
Someone suddenly thrust a cup of water with a straw in it at my face. I blinked and looked at the small, pale, freckled arm. Attached to the arm was a small boy. So pale he almost looked as though he were painted onto the white walls. Except for his stark red hair. Poor kid. (A/N: no offence gingers ;-D)  
  
Even though I was told never to accept things from strangers, I gladly accepted this drink. The boy didn't feel like a complete stranger though... Something about him was lurking at the back of my mind.  
  
The cool water at first felt like glass, cutting through my gums, dragging down the side of my throat. But then it started slipping down and I gulped it down. When I came up to get some air, I gasped in pain as my chest, when it heaved out, contracted back as a sharp stabbing feeling started pounding it.  
  
"Susie? Are you okay, honey?" It was the lady again, her hand flew to my hand, and I tried to yank it back. But she had a firm grip on it.  
  
Suddenly I felt scared.  
  
Who were these people? I noticed there were more now. The little boy, the lady, a man, and a tall, scruffy looking guy. They all looked scared.  
  
I shrank into my pillow and my eyes opened wide. I felt really cold and started shivering.  
  
"Who are you? Where am I?" The lady glanced at the man in surprise, then her eyes flew back to mine. I avoided them.  
  
"Susie, honey, it's me - your mom. You're in hospital." As she said those three words my mind raced.  
  
Memories flooded back to me.  
  
I was thrown into the road...  
  
I was trying to get up...angry at something...someone...  
  
And then...  
  
I squeezed my eyes shut as the reality of the situation hit me...much like that pick-up truck.  
  
I was in hospital.  
  
I felt tears racing down my cheeks.  
  
"Mom," I whispered, the word catching in my throat. A sob escaped from my mom and she hugged me hard. I sat there not moving.  
  
"We thought we'd lost you...I was so scared. So, so, scared." A sob broke from her and she started rocking me gently. "Your body was so battered...I didn't even recognise you. And then...and then you went into the coma," her voice dropped as she spoke that word. Coma. Like I had died.  
  
"Don't you dare do that me again. I couldn't bear to lose you, as well. You mean everything to me." She was staring at me with such earnest eyes I felt a surge of guilt. God knows what for. For almost kicking the bucket?  
  
Then the door opened and a thick set boy rushed in, followed by a man in a white coat and a lady in a nurse's outfit.  
  
As they came round to my side, I noticed another figure in the room.  
  
I don't know how I hadn't noticed him before, he was sat by my other side, hand clasped round mine. It was the guy from my dream...  
  
"Jesse." He was smiling a huge smile and his eyes were wet. "I'm okay," I whispered.  
  
I caught the thick set boy glance sharply at me, his eyes becoming slits and his fists clenched. Brad. His name suddenly sprang to my mind. My step- brother. How many other things had I forgotten?  
  
The doctor was shining a light in my eyes and I had to drag my eyes to him.  
  
"Pupil reactions' normal." He murmured to the nurse, who jotted it down on the clipboard.  
  
"Can you tell me your name, young lady?" He said while looking at all the machines and things. God, way to be rude, I thought, I felt like waving a hand in front of him and yelling, "Over here!"  
  
"Suze," I grunted. He looked at me sharply then away again.  
  
"And your age?"  
  
"16." The doctor nodded.  
  
"And do you remember what happened to you?" He asked, still not looking at me.  
  
I swallowed.  
  
"I got hit by a car," I winced as the memory hit me again.  
  
The doctor merely nodded and opened up the slit in my gown above my stomach to check it.  
  
"Hey!" I protested. The doctor didn't even glance at me. I stopped scowling at him and looked down to where he was looking at. I gasped as I saw bandages wrapping my entire stomach and chest.  
  
"Oh my God..."  
  
"Yes, you sustained some very serious injuries. We weren't sure we could restore all your lost blood, especially with the internal bleeding. We were also forced to remove your spleen, you ruptured it when the car hit it." I took this information in without really listening. I don't even know what the spleen does. "You have suffered a few cracked ribs, but you should know how to deal with that, as I believe that's nothing new to you," the doctor actually looked at me and smiled. Wow, he did have a personality. I just stared back. He coughed lightly, then continued to describe the damage, looking away again.  
  
"Your shoulder was dislocated, so it will be sore, you also have a broken wrist where you fell on it." He pointed to my left arm and I mechanically moved my eyes to the cast. Ouch, that looked as though it would hurt when I got off the morphine. "Your legs haven't suffered too much, a few cuts and bruises. And your hip may be a bit sore – that got quite bashed too. Your head generally didn't get hit too badly. A few scans and X-rays show that, apart from being bruised and concussed, you suffered nothing else to it."  
  
Okay...  
  
I sat there in silence. My mom was chewing her lip, Andy was standing behind her with his hand on her shoulder, Doc was still sat by the table by my bed, and Dopey and Sleepy were standing by the door. Sleepy's eyes were wide with deep shadows underneath. They were also kinda bloodshot. Everyone's were.  
  
"How-how long have I been here for?" There was silence after I asked this. I looked around expectantly.  
  
"You've been in a comatose-like state for...for about two weeks. That's what we couldn't understand. All your provincial scans revealed no brain damage, no fractured skull or severe concussion, and our CAT scans showed the same. We couldn't understand why you wouldn't wake up..."  
  
I stared at the doctor. He was quite young and quite good-looking. He was also incredibly uncomfortable.  
  
I turned my eyes to Jesse. He smiled weakly at me, trying to be a comfort. He was distant, and all I wanted to do was be held by him. I was so confused and I needed to be comforted by someone I knew.  
  
"Everyone at school was worried about you, Susie," my mom suddenly gushed in a vain attempt to cheer me up. "Your year grouped together to buy you some lovely flowers," she pointed to a large vase full of now drooping flowers. Their bright colour had faded and they looked as if they wanted to die. "They also sent you a huge card – Adam and CeeCee brought that. They visited everyday. Adam was extremely upset, very sweet, but so upset. And another young man came to visit everyday, too."  
  
"Slater," growled Jesse from the corner. I darted a look at him.  
  
"Paul?" I asked. Mom looked up at me. "Yes, yes that's his name! Paul! How did you know?"  
  
"Instinct," I growled. My mom beamed back.  
  
"He brought flowers everyday. Kept telling us it was his fault. Quite traumatized by the whole thing, it seemed. Such a sweet young man." I stared at my mom.  
  
Kept telling them it was his fault? And then I remembered. Hadn't he been trying to warn me about something?  
  
Louisa.  
  
I had forgotten all about her.  
  
That bitch had almost killed me!  
  
And Paul had tried to warn me...and I had just ignored him.  
  
Damn him for being so repulsive. And I bet he expected me to thank him for trying to warn him. Or to apologise for ignoring him.  
  
Crud, as if my life couldn't get any more confusing and difficult.  
  
After a few hours, I began to feel a little tired. I had caught up on everything that had happened while I'd been...gone. Not much, by the sound of it.  
  
My eyelids were starting to droop when Dopey and Sleepy began arguing about the best tyres for a burn out...why? Andy noticed this and said, "Come on guys, I think Suze has had enough of us now. We better go home and let you hit the hay...again."  
  
He smiled at me and I smiled an appreciative one back. Mom took a longer time to leave and fussed about my bed and whether I was comfy/thirsty/hurting/hungry. She finally stood still after tucking in all the already-tucked-in bed sheets.  
  
She had tears in her eyes.  
  
"I love you Susie, you know that, don't you?"  
  
I had to resist rolling my eyes.  
  
"Yeah, mom, I know."  
  
She smiled and kissed me on the forehead. "Sleep tight, honey." I smiled and she left the room.  
  
Then I rolled my eyes and rubbed the place where she kissed me on the forehead.  
  
"She really does love you, Susannah," said a voice from the corner.  
  
"Yeah yeah, I know, Jesse." He walked over and sat down next to me. He kissed me on each cheek and then gently on my lips, letting his rest there for a while longer so it didn't qualify as a peck.  
  
"Goodnight, querida," he whispered as he continued to look at me.  
  
My eyelids drooped even further and I yawned, "G'night, Jesse." And I was out like a light.  
  
After a week of visits from Adam, CeeCee, Father Dom, and Paul (unfortunately), and Sean, I was allowed to go home. Father D had given me loads of lectures on how I wasn't to go near Louisa (duh) and I was just to rest and take it easy at school so Jesse was hanging around me all the time. Which is, you know, pretty funky, but a girl's gotta have some time alone.  
  
So now I'm at home. I have school tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it. I was busy thinking about all the pros and cons of going back to school (get to see friends/get to be stared at), when an all too familiar ghost materialised in my room.  
  
"Hey Susie..."

* * *

A/N: OK dudettes (and dudes, if your into this which I DOUBT), whenever you review, can you tell me where you're from? As in, which country and state and town etc. I'm just curious. And odd. But we all know that anyway. 


	14. Suze Simon Calling For A Hero, Or Two

Disclaimer: DO YOU HAVE TO RUB IT IN????  
  
A/N: HEY MY LUVLIES!!!  
  
Nice Hayley: You truly are a nice Hayley. And I know that's not easy in this harsh, not-nice world. I envy you. Glad to hear you've been taking your chill pills. I find it helps. Do you have like a Texan accent? Kinda, "Howdy!"? Or am I being unbelievably naïve and British...?  
  
Kewine: haha, golly-tamale. I like it.  
  
Michelle: Aaaaaaw, you think I'm good!!!! YOU ROCK. Aaaw. I'm all smiles and rainbows now.  
  
Mystique Angelique: Seriously, you CONTINUE to make my day whenever you review. (I've never done a hospital scene before, I became quite overwhelmed with all the options – does she die? Does she have amnesia? Does she go momentarily insane and BITE OFF EVERYONE'S TOES??? Like I said, I was overwhelmed. And hyped up on candy...  
  
Universalcall: I'M FROM ENGLAND. In the middley bit.  
  
Lizzie9: I'M UPDATING  
  
Jenny: I am cracking on my next chapter! I really wanna go to California, it sounds like PA-RA-DISSSSSSSSSSSSSSE  
  
Ghost Magic: Hehehe, thank you, thank you! I will write more. Maybe. If I get enough reviews...

* * *

I shot up to the headboard of my bed, away from Ghost Bitch. I gripped my bed covers and self-consciously wrapped one arm across my stomach, across my injuries. My mouth was dry and my stomach felt suddenly empty. Hot bile flashed in my throat and I swallowed it down, barely.  
  
"Wha- what do- what-" I couldn't get the words out. My breath was short, slowly fading from my now too-small body. I felt like a twig, a single touch from her and I could snap in half. I was so scared. And where was Jesse? I needed him. Anyone.  
  
Louisa took a step forward and I rammed myself harder against my headboard. My head hit my wall but I didn't notice the pain.  
  
Louisa had her usual smile on her face, to me it looked like a death grin.  
  
"What? Not even gonna say hello to your old pal?" She took another step toward me, her head cocked to the side again.  
  
"Don't!" I screamed the instant her foot hit the floor. The word just leapt out of my mouth.  
  
Louisa frowned. "Don't what, Susie?"  
  
My eyes darted around the room frantically. I needed a shield. Anything. Oh God, I was so scared.  
  
"Don't come near me!" I shrieked. Louisa tutted. Honest to God, she tutted. Like I was some poor invalid who had done something wrong, but she couldn't punish me because I was what I was. An invalid.  
  
"Aw, Susie. Don't be like that! I didn't mean it!" I stared at her incredulously. What was this bitch on?  
  
"You didn't mean to propel me into the path of a speeding pickup?" I said in disbelief.  
  
Louisa just smiled. That smile was really beginning to piss me off. I slowly climbed off my bed. "You didn't mean to break several of my ribs?" I took a step towards her. My rage was radiating off me. I heard a car pull up in the driveway but I didn't acknowledge it.  
  
"You didn't mean to put me in a coma for two weeks?" Another step. "You didn't mean to scare the living crap outta my family?" I didn't say crap. I took another step towards her and heard the doorbell ring. "You didn't mean to almost kill me?" I screamed the last two words and Louisa took a step back. Panic and fear flitted across her face.  
  
"Now Susie, it was an accident. I just get angry sometimes..."  
  
Footsteps were coming up the stairs.  
  
"Yeah, well guess what, Louisa, I get angry too. And when I get angry, instead of throwing someone into the road and almost killing them, I pound them. And I pound them hard. And Louisa, I am going to pound your bitchy ghost ass all the way to hell, you should feel at home there, it is where you were born."  
  
I registered the door of my bedroom opening, but I was too busy jumping on top of Louisa to pay attention. I landed straddling her and I glowered down at her face.  
  
"This is payback, bitch. You're gonna understand the real meaning of pain." My fist flew into her face, then my other one. They were unstoppable. I climbed off her, crouching down and holding on to her shirtfront, then dragging her up with me. Her nose was bleeding and she was looking dazed.  
  
"Suze!" I heard a man's voice say my name in shock.  
  
I punched Louisa when she was able to stand without my help. I punched her snooty face so hard she flew across the room into my wall. I saw a blue sparkle out of the corner of my eye then stalked over to Louisa. She was starting to stand and she looked angry.  
  
I distantly catalogued my chest hurting and my wrist and shoulder throbbing ominously. She glared at me.  
  
"You bitch-" she began, her eyes were flashing.  
  
"Oh, save it for someone who cares." I turned my side to her and raised my leg. "Oh wait, no one does care about little Louisa, do they?" I cocked my head to the side as I said this and when the fury flashed in her eyes, I kicked her under the chin. She flew back into the wall again.  
  
"Alright, alright, that's enough, Suze," someone was grabbing my elbows from behind. I turned around sharply.  
  
"Get offa me, Paul," I growled through clenched teeth.  
  
"Suze, Suze, come on. Just...calm down. OK?"  
  
And that's when the pain hit me. A sharp gasp escaped from my lips and my knees buckled.  
  
"Suze? Oh my God, are you alright?" His eyes were dark with concern and he grabbed me around the waist to prevent me from falling down. His hands scorched me and I felt my body flush. My breath started coming out in short gasps, I don't know whether this was a result of Paul or the hurt I was experiencing, or both. All I knew was that it hurt like hell.  
  
I looked up at Paul in the eye and in an instant fell into his body. He clasped me tighter, like he never wanted to let go. In that second when I had looked into his eyes, I had seen fear. Fear for what? Me? Or me kicking his ass like I had kicked Louisa's? I felt tears spring to my eyes as the stabbing pain increased. "Ow," I whimpered.  
  
"Alright, let's get you on the bed," he said gently into my ear, then scooped me up so I was cradled in his arms, my head burrowed into his chest. I looped my arms around his neck and held on tight.  
  
He gently plopped me on the bed and sat down next to me. "Where does it hurt, Suze?" His voice was urgent, but he tried to keep it calm to reassure me. I pointed to my wrist and my stomach/chest area. Then the giggles started. The pain was so ridiculously bad, you had to laugh, really. Paul tenderly lifted up my arm and examined my wrist. It was red and swollen.  
  
"It doesn't look too bad, I think you just over did, huh? Sheesh, guess those anger management classes ain't going too well, eh?" It was a stupid joke - and if I were in my right state of my mind, not only would I have not let him touch me, let alone hold me, I wouldn't have laughed - but his jokiness and voice were comforting and it was a nice feeling.  
  
"They were cancelled after I put the counsellor in hospital," I weakly replied. Paul laughed and it sent shivers up and down my spine. It was a deep, manly laugh that showed in his eyes. I smiled as I stared into them.  
  
He coughed after a few seconds and looked away. "Right," he said briskly, "Let's take a look at those ribs." I was still gazing at his face when he said this so I didn't really understand what he had said.  
  
Until he gingerly started lifting up my shirt bottom.  
  
"What are you doing?" I shrieked. He looked up at me as though I'd grown another head. "I'm checking your ribs for any damage." I just stared at him.  
  
"I'm-I'm fine. It doesn't hurt any more." To strengthen this utter lie I tried to sit up. The stabbing pain was so fierce I yelped and fell back down. Paul was instantly leaning over me, his eyes full of concern. He cupped my face in his hands. "Suze? Suze, are you alright?"  
  
"Ow..." I said feebly.  
  
"That's it. I'm taking a look." I weakly protested, but it didn't do any good. He lifted up my shirt (not all the way, thank God, I was spared some dignity) and tentatively peeked my bandages away. He started touching parts of my stomach, whenever I winced or gasped he would just nod and continue poking. Finally he was done. "I think you just overdid it, and strained yourself."  
  
"Thanks for that diagnosis, Dr P," I said sarcastically with my eyebrow raised.  
  
He raised his in response. I cracked up. He grinned back. Suddenly I was aware that my shirt was still halfway up my body. I felt my cheeks heat up as I tugged it down. Then I realised my bandages weren't done up properly so I fumbled with them awhile, not achieving anything my fingers were trembling so badly.  
  
Eventually Paul caught my hands in his. I looked up at him in shock and he placed my hands by my sides. He took my bandages and smoothly pulled them back into place.  
  
His hands would occasionally graze my stomach and I would feel that body- flush again. When the bandages were in place, Paul sat there for a few seconds staring at my now-bandaged belly. A very nice, flat belly, I'll have you know. I coughed and his eyes shot back up to my face. A faint tinge appeared on his sculptured cheeks.  
  
Hold the phone. Paul? Blushing?  
  
Suddenly a shimmer appeared on the other side of my bed. It was Sean.  
  
"Hey, are you alright?" His voice was breathless. Which shouldn't really surprise me seeing as he has no breath...  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied.  
  
"Wow, you really taught Louisa a lesson back there!"  
  
"You saw?" I don't remember seeing him... Then I remembered, that blue shimmer out of the corner of my eye must have been him.  
  
Sean nodded and then saw Paul. He instantly straightened his body and squared his shoulders.  
  
"What are you doing here?" His voice was gravely and anger reverberated through it.  
  
"Oh, um, Paul was just passing. Yeah. And he-he helped me with my-my, you know, my hurts." Sean raised an eyebrow. "My stomach. He helped me with my stomach." Sean's other eyebrow went up. "My stomach was hurting and he helped me!" I practically screamed this, which caused Paul and Sean to look at me with both their eyebrows almost flying off their foreheads they were so high.  
  
"Ah hem. Yeah." I sat up and twiddled my thumbs, staring at the wall opposite me.  
  
"Um, listen Suze. I'd better be going," I turned to look at Paul and opened my mouth to protest. Then I realised who he was and quickly shut it. Instead I nodded my head. Paul stood up off the bed. He paused then quickly ducked his head and lay a kiss on my cheek. Then he walked out of the room.  
  
Oh. My. God.  
  
I lifted a hand to where he'd kissed me. It felt warm. And kinda wet. Ew. I wiped it off hurriedly.  
  
"That guy's a jerk, Suze. Stay away from him." Sean stood stock still, but his voice said everything about what he was feeling.  
  
"He's-he's not that bad," I said quietly, picking at my bedspread.  
  
"Yes, he is." I remained silent, plucking loose threads on my sheets. "What about Jesse?" He asked sharply.  
  
I looked up at him.  
  
"What about Jesse? I'm not cheating on him, Sean. Sheesh. Look. Paul was there while I was attacking Louisa, Jesse wasn't."  
  
"I was there." Sean whispered.  
  
"I know, Sean. And I appreciate it. I mean, you always seem to be there when I need you. When Jesse isn't. I'm just saying that Paul-"  
  
I didn't get to finish my sentence because at that precise moment in time, Sean kissed me.  
  
That's right. Sean's lips were on mine. And they were working on overdrive. They were nice and full. Kinda juicy.  
  
Wait, what was I thinking? I love Jesse. J-E-S-S-E. Not Sean.  
  
Then why was I kissing back???  
  
I jerked away.  
  
"What are you doing?" I screeched.  
  
"Kissing you," he replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Which I guess it was, seeing as his lips were on my lips, and his tongue...  
  
No! Bad Suze.  
  
But when his lips came to mine again...Well...  
  
I tried to pull away and crawled further up my bed. Sean had other ideas. His lips stayed locked with mine, and my crawling back only encouraged him to climb next to me.  
  
Make that, on top of me.  
  
And then his hand was trailing up my leg, and under my shirt. I swatted his hand away and jerked my head back. This caused my stomach to pull and my ribs to ache. My and flew to my stomach as I flinched.  
  
"Ow!" I squinted my eyes closed as the pain began to fade.  
  
"Suze! Are you okay?" I opened them to find Sean peering at me. His face was so close our noses were touching. My eyes drifted to his lips and then snapped back to his eyes.  
  
Must look at his eyes. Must not look at those soft, juicy, moist, red, shapely, delectable-  
  
"My-my stomach hurts again," I stammered. Sean frowned and bent his head to look at my stomach.  
  
"Sean, I think you'd better leave," I said calmly and evenly. I looked straight in his eye, and he looked back.  
  
And then he was gone.  
  
I visibly relaxed and lay there, staring at the canopy of my bed,  
  
Had that just happened? Why had it happened? Would it happen again?  
  
Why could my life not just be normal?  
  
There was a familiar shimmer by my bed and I groaned inwardly. What did he want? I turned on my side, hoping Sean would think I was asleep.  
  
Instead another, more welcome, voice whispered my name.  
  
"Susannah?" I snapped my head around and a smile broke out on my face.  
  
"Jesse!" He smiled back at me.  
  
"How are you feeling?" A frown appeared on his face and he sat down on the bed. I felt a blush creep up on me.  
  
"Me? Oh, I'm good. You know. Just been sat here all day. Sat here with no one to occupy me. I mean, keep me busy. With, you know, stuff." Jesse gave me an odd look.  
  
I laughed nervously.  
  
Jesse leaned over to kiss me and whispered, "Do not worry, querida, I am here now." Normally this would have sent shivers up my spine. But today, I couldn't bear to be touched by him. What kind of mutant-freak am I exactly?  
  
"Urm, you know what, Jesse? I'm feeling kinda sore. And tired. Yeah, sore and tired. And I gotta my rest for tomorrow cos, you know, it's a school day." Jesse looked a little confused but his face softened and instead he said, "Goodnight, then, querida," and kissed my on my lips. Then he was gone.  
  
I forced a smile and got ready for bed.  
  
That night I dreamed I was on a quiz show. The million-dollar question was, "What do you do next?" I lost the money to an old wrinkly who answered, "Buy a condo in Florida and scatter my husband's ashes in the sea," because I didn't answer in time.  
  
Because I didn't know.

* * *

A/N: I have no idea what the relevance of the old lady buying a condo in Florida and scattering her husband's ashes in the sea is. Seriously. I'm just odd. And I hate old ladies. I hate old people full stop. They give me the creeps. But there's always that one old lady on a quiz show winning the top prize even though she's gonna drop dead anyway. I mean, what a waste! And what does she do with her prize? Spend it on a holiday. A washing machine. A new purple hat. Fools. Hiisssssss.  
  
ALSO: thank ye very much, ye kindly kings of New England, ye princes of Maine, for telling me where thoust are inhabiting. KEEP IT UP. 


	15. I Hate Mondays

Disclaimer: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MUST YOU MOCK ME SO????  
  
A/N: Okay, this chapter actually sucks beyond belief. I wrote it after When Harry Met Sally which was showing on the TV and finished at like 2am. So I blame TV for this suckiness. I apologise PROFUSELY.  
  
I am loving Britney Spears' song Need You. How cute is it? And the video! Och! What a cute guy! And did you check out his abs? Cor blimey, gov'ner.  
  
AND English TV also showed Earthquake 10.5 – does anyone else love the guy who plays Clark's dad in Smallville? The actual show (Earthquake) isn't amazing, though. Quite the disappointment.  
  
I painted my newly grown nails purple, too. I know I know, my life is worth writing about. But let me just tell you, it was a pretty exciting shade of purple. I'm also going to get my ear pierced again. You know, at the top of the ear? I have two on the bottom already. I think it will look groovy, baby, yeah.  
  
I don't even know why I'm babbling on like this. But it's either that, or watch the amazing film Ice. With great acting, great graphics, and a great storyline. Not to mention the script: **_"I used to think I loved you cos you're tough. Now I know, it's cos you're not."_** Give that scriptwriter a prize.  
  
Kewine: I went to the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland! I can't remember it though, but I was vewy vewy ickle back then. Golly golly golly tamale – you've got me saying now! I keep getting odd looks from my friends...so what else is new?  
  
Muzacgurl: I'm glad you love reading my story. I love writing. Sometimes. When I'm very drunk. (I'm kidding). And I'm glad you agree with the old ladies thing!  
  
Brittany: Haha, Paul maybe nice now...but what about later? We all know Jesse will never be bad..........................or will he...........? Doo doo doo doo (Twilight Zone theme tune)  
  
Alexis De Silva: A little obsessed, me thinks? Guessing from the name? Well so am I. We wil be obsessed....TOGETHER. I hope you get off your death bed to pee and stuff. Otherwise – ew.  
  
Nice Hayley: Hahaha, "ya'll" I LOVE people who say "ya'll". It's like a dream come true...I will also make YOU into a doll.  
  
Gothic Granny: GOTHIC GRANNY????? Put down that glue and keep your nose AWAY!!! Also, demonic laughing on a stormy day? Seriously, step away from the glue, everyone knows that is HIGHLY dangerous – the government are thinking of making it illegal. I like Evanescence, espesh their chante nouveau. Tres bon, tres bon. I had NO IDEA you were named after a kiddies sweetie! Lolly. How cool is that? Do you get sticky like after you've been in the rain or something?  
  
Universalcall: PAUL WILL DIE??? AND MOVE ON???? YOU MEANIE!!!! I think you should leave. Kat, wow, I'm learning everyone's real names today. I feel so privileged.

* * *

School. I stepped out of the car, and stood staring at it.  
  
Why was I so nervous? Scared, and giddy?  
  
I felt a light shove on my shoulder.  
  
"Yo, earth to Suze. Anyone there? Dude, we gotta actually get into the school for it to count as going to school." I shook myself out of my trance and turned to glare at Brad. Then I pushed my shoulders back, held my head up high, and strode into school. Like the proud, fashion-queen I am.  
  
"Su-uze! Oh my God, Suze! You're back! You're ba-ack!" I grinned as CeeCee flew into me, wrapping her skinny arms around me.  
  
"Oof! Cee, I'm supposed to be recovering, not very easy when I'm being crushed." CeeCee stepped back after a second and grinned at me. "You're back!" She screeched one last time.  
  
My smile almost split my face.  
  
"I'm back!" I replied, throwing my hands up in the air. CeeCee led me to our classroom, hopping slightly with badly disguised frivol. I frowned but didn't say anything. I had never seen her this excited before. It was making me nervous.  
  
When we got to our form door, she stepped aside and looked at me eagerly. I frowned at her and opened to door...  
  
To find my whole class grinning madly at me and a horde of balloons clinging to the ceiling with a tangle of ribbons hanging down from them. But that's not the worst bit.  
  
Oh no. Because drooping from the ceiling was also a sign. A sign saying "Welcome back, Suze!" with red hearts and, get this, a bunny. A bunny smiling. CeeCee shot me an apologetic look and whispered quickly in my ear, "We tried to do the poster ourselves – me and Adam – but Kelly and Debbie insisted they should do it, what with them being closer to you, and all."  
  
And, speak of the devil, there they were, rushing forwards, arms open like they were nurses from a rehab clinic and I was a patient. And then they were swallowing me up in their expensive perfume and soft, shiny hair. It was hell. Why did I ever leave the hospital?  
  
"Urm, Debbie? Kelly? Ribs? Yeah? They were recently broken." I was beginning to wonder if these girls worked out. That death grip they had me in? Lethal. Luckily Mr Walden stepped forward and gently pulled them off me.  
  
"Nice to have you back, Suze," he said, smiling.  
  
I smiled back. I had to. "Thanks. And thanks for-" I gestured at the balloons and banner, "- this! It's really...thoughtful of you guys." I smiled round at everyone who beamed back with a smile that clearly said, "I hope you're not contagious."  
  
How lovely.  
  
I did my dutiful thank-you-so-much-for-making-me-feel-welcome-and- appreciating-I-am-a-weak-soul-who-needs-help – your help – I-don't-know- what-I-would-without-you smile and walked over to my chair. Everyone seemed to get the message and returned to theirs.  
  
And so school began.  
  
I would like to say it passed without much incidence. But that would be lying. That would be too much for little ol' Suze to have a happy normal day at least once in my life. Far too much. Exactly what had I done that had pissed God off so much? OK, don't answer that.  
  
Around lunch time I told my fans – a group of about twenty who had decided I wasn't stable enough to even walk to my locker on my own – that I needed to pee. In those exact words. Hoping, hoping, they would take the hint and leave me alone. But when I turned round and found Debbie and Kelly still following me, I elaborated.  
  
"Kelly, Debbie, as much as I appreciate your helping me," cue for them to beam in an oh-isn't-she-so-cute-acknowledging-she-needs-us way, "but I do not need your help when I go take a leak. I am not an invalid. I just got hit by a car. That's all."  
  
They gasped and clasped their hands to their mouths in shock when I said that last bit. Did they think I was in denial or something? That by mentioning the fact I almost got killed, I would collapse in shock?  
  
I growled at them and they scattered. Huh. Instead of heading towards the loos, I just leaned against the wall. Never had school been so...overwhelming. Anyone would've thought I'd actually died and had been resurrected. Tonnes of people get by hit by cars everyday, right? And it's not like anyone at this school hasn't had a near death experience before, either. Hell! Someone had even died! Or rather, committed suicide.  
  
But you get my drift.  
  
I'd barely had time to look at CeeCee and Adam.  
  
While I was busy contemplating running out of the school and never coming back, a soft whisper in my ear brought me back to reality, sharpish.  
  
"So how you doing?" I turned around and saw Paul, leaning over me with a grin on his lips. I dragged my gaze from his lips and concentrated on his eyes...not much help, what with them being so...nice. They were so clear and icey, they're kinda refreshing too. Like on a hot day, and then you dive into a cool, clear wave and suddenly you feel so alive and refreshed. That's what his eyes were like. Dangerous.  
  
"How do you think I'm doing? I feel like I have a bunch of groupies following me everywhere. Not nice."  
  
Paul chuckled and came round to the front of me. I gulped and kept my eyes from wandering over his body. He was wearing a pale blue T that showed his fine chest and stomach, and his jeans that...well. Calvin Klein doesn't know what it's missing.  
  
"They just care for you. We all do. I do." He said this with such a penetrative gaze I had to look away.  
  
"Paul, you know I'm with Jesse," I looked up at him, almost pleading with him. Why didn't I trust myself? I loved Jesse. That much was true.  
  
Paul's face instantly darkened.  
  
"Yeah? Well I also know you and I would be great together. I know I would make you the happiest person alive. I know I could give you so much more than that cowboy ghost ever could." He spat this out with so much venom – and so much truth – it stung.  
  
"Paul, no. We are not going down this path again. Alright?"  
  
Paul opened his mouth to say more – God knows what – when guess who materialised next to him? How come it's always him who appears when Paul is near me?  
  
"You heard her, Slater. Now get the hell away from her."  
  
Paul jerked round to face Sean.  
  
"You. What, are you following Suze now, or something? She can take care of herself. She doesn't need some dead loser stalking her." Paul's eyes were flashing and his voice was a growl. Any second now I expected lightning to start shooting down from the sky and thunder to start crackling.  
  
"I'm stalking her? What about you? You can't get your hands off her, you perve. She doesn't like you, so get over it and move away." Sean stepped up to Paul and Paul did the same to Sean.  
  
"You don't know anything, deadbeat." (Get it? Deadbeat. Hahaha)  
  
"I know that Suze prefers me to you, anytime." Did he just say that? Oh God. This could get icky.  
  
"In. Your. Dreams," Paul hissed. And then he lunged.  
  
Hooh boy.  
  
Paul tackled Sean against a classroom door which sprung open. This caused them to overbalance and fall over together, in a whirl of fists and legs. I would've laughed if I hadn't been so worried about being overheard.  
  
So I just ran after them. "Paul! Stop! And you, Sean! Guys!!!"  
  
But Paul just picked Sean up and threw a fist in his face. Sean whirled round and into the teacher's desk. He quickly levered himself up and turned to Paul, who he in turn punched. I heard Sean's nose snap back into place as I heard Paul crack out of. Paul didn't notice the flood of blood gushing down, but just threw his entire body at Sean. They flew into the all the desks, scattering them like they were a flock of frightened birds.  
  
I ran over to them and hauled Sean up off of Paul. Sean was so startled I was able t throw him brusquely away, and I crouched down to Paul, trying to assess the damage.  
  
"What is it that people hate about my nose, Suze?" I didn't laugh. I suspected he had a concussion.  
  
"C'mon, let's get you to the nurse," I grabbed his wrists and yanked him up. He giggled. Once he was upright, he staggered and I had to loop his arm around my neck, as I looped mine around his waist. We turned awkwardly to the door to find a bulk blocking it.  
  
"Sean, get out of the way," I said huskily. Paul was heavy and my ribs were contracting. I was in pain.  
  
"No. This is between me and Paul, Suze. Let him finish his fight." Sean was staring hard at Paul who was looking bewildered around the classroom.  
  
"No, Sean, this is not between you and Paul. This is about me, therefore it's between you, me, and Paul. And as I far as I'm concerned, there is nothing between us. So just drop it. OK?"  
  
Sean's face went through an eloquent series of transformations. First, there was confusion. Then comprehension. And then shock. And then?  
  
Then there was anger.  
  
Oh man was there anger.  
  
And I've seen a lot of anger in my life.  
  
And this was the first time I've ever felt it down to my toes. Down to my heart.  
  
I was afraid.  
  
"Se-Sean. Please, don't be angry. Um, look. I really appreciate the help you've helped me through this- this hard time, but, you know. Maybe you should consider moving on. Or at least, getting out of the way."  
  
Sean's face was scrunched up in what can only be called an ugly way. Ugly ugly way. I mean seriously ugly. I shuffled to my left a bit (amazingly hard with Paul leaning on me on the left). But Sean just stepped to the left to block even more of our path.  
  
"I don't think so, Suze. It's not over until I say it's over. And to me, Suze, to me it's only just began. Paul hurt you, and I'm going to protect you. I am going to save you, I am going to be your prince in shining armour, Suze. And you are going to love me for it."  
  
I gaped at him. What the hell was he on about?  
  
"Sean, Paul hasn't hurt me. In fact, you hurt him. And I don't need a prince – I have Jesse." As I said the last bit, I straightened myself up to make myself look taller and looked him defiantly in the eye.  
  
His burned back.  
  
"I can deal with Jesse. I'm the one who's always there when you need him. Not Jesse himself. Me. I'm the one you want. I'm the one you need." My eyes flitted around the classroom. Maybe there was a spare ruler I could throw at him? Maybe a compass? I don't know. Just anything.  
  
Sean saw this and frowned even deeper.  
  
"Oh no no no no no no. Don't even think about it, Suze. You're here with me. You'll be leaving, with me. Just you and me Suze. Just you and me."  
  
And that's when I did it.  
  
"JESSE!!!!!!!!!" As soon as I screamed his name, Sean's blanched.  
  
And then he tackled me.  
  
Or that's how it felt.  
  
What he really did was grab me round my waist – here I dropped Paul and he fell with a clatter and a "Whoa" against the tables, then crumpled into an elegant heap on the floor – and then plopped me onto one of the desks. He then proceeded to snog my tiny little heart out. I say snog, but really he just crushed his lips to mine.  
  
And that's when my real knight in shining armour rode in on his white horse.  
  
Make that, he materialised.  
  
In his whirl of blue sparkles. 


	16. We Got A DID! Damsel In Distress

Disclaimer: DAMN YOU! DAMN YOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
A/N: Ah hem. Okay, this chappie is a wee bit long, me duckies. But I hope you enjoy. I quite like the ending, because I know where I'm going with this. For once in my story telling life.  
  
Can I just say, I LOVE YOU GUYS. Seriously. Reading your reviews makes me SOOOO HAPPY _- wipes tear from eye -_ thank you. Thank you.  
  
**Kewine:** I am soooo using "okee dokee artichoke". How class is that?  
  
**Athena884:** I know who I want Suze to end up with...but I can't tell you as that would ruin the plot. And we don't want that now, do we kiddies?  
  
**Gracefulnis:** Of _course_ it's not the end, fool! But I am thinking, after this story, that I MAY write another one... Not sure if I can come up with anything more original though...I will ponder though...  
  
**Nice Hayley:** Ever the nice Hayley. I think you should keep your chill pills to yourself (I swapped them for horse tranquilizers as they were the only thing strong enough to calm you, however, they will kill anyone else who eats one). Your reviews may be weird, so am I, and I like weird. Seriously. I do. And I like long reviews, it makes me feel more at home with my stories, and it encourages me...if only I were getting paid... Of course I understand that you get excited after reading rele cool stories, I understand, truly, I do. Because that's who I am. Understanding Emily. (My real name) (or is it...?)  
  
**Musicgirl141:** It's no joke, of course you want to be Suze...everyone does...  
  
**Gothic Granny:** HAHAHA. And I also have no men... - breaks down in tears and hysterical sobbing - and you're not a loner, unless you're a loner with me...in which case, WELCOME TO THE LONER CLUB! And you will TOTALLY see Sean go psycho, I am planning a chappie where he...well, I will say no more. But Sean-going-psycho lovers, beware... And you, scare people? Don't be silly _- backs away with nervous laughter, when reaches door, runs for life with arms flailing and mad screaming -  
_  
**Universalcall:** What exams are you taking? Are they like American finals? Whatever they are. If you are actually American. Man, I love Americans. And American finals. Whatever they are.

* * *

"Nombre de Dios! Get your hands off her!" I screeched into Sean's lips, kicked my legs wildly and flailed my arms, signalling to Jesse for him to come and rescue me. Not exactly lady-like, I know. But hey, there's only so many times a girl can be sexually harassed. And I have been sexually harassed a lot of times.  
  
Wouldn't my mother be happy?  
  
I felt Jesse's hand land on Sean's shoulder as the pressure and weight from it caused him to sink considerably, and Sean's lips were wrenched from mine. I filled my empty lungs with refreshing air and then turned to thank Jesse...  
  
...Only to find he was preoccupied.  
  
Yeah, preoccupied with ramming his fist into Sean's face. And then throwing him – with help of his telekinetic powers – across the classrooms, ploughing him through numerous desks, and crashing him into the far wall. A bone-shattering, body-smashing crash, into the wall.  
  
"Oh my God, Jesse!" But Jesse wasn't listening. He was striding up to Sean – who was scraping himself off the floor.  
  
Before Jesse could reach Sean, however, he was thrown with just as much force against the opposite wall. Sean had obviously figured out how to use his supernatural powers.  
  
Can't we all just learn how to get along?  
  
Yeah, right.  
  
"Shit!" I scrabbled off the desk to get to Jesse. When I reached him I bent down to his level and noticed a trickle of blood running down the wall behind his head.  
  
"Oh my God, Jesse. Oh my God. Come on, wake up, Jesse, please. Jesse!" I peered into his face. And then his eyes flickered open.  
  
"Querida?" He asked, in a husky voice, his pupils dilating and his nose crinkling as he frowned.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm here, Jesse," I replied. My voice was trembling and my eyes were brimming with tears.  
  
What had I done? What I had done to him? My beautiful Jesse. And I had risked losing him over these two ugly things?  
  
Well, okay, maybe not so ugly.  
  
Yes. Yes ugly. Compared to Jesse, anyway.  
  
I lifted my hand to his face.  
  
"I'm sorry, Jesse," I whispered.  
  
The trickle of blood running down the wall was stemming and his pupils were returning to normal. "For what?"  
  
I opened my mouth to respond – I don't know what I was going to say – but before I could get a word out, I felt a jerk in the pit of my stomach. Like someone had planted an anchor there, and they were now yanking it out.  
  
And then I was flying through the air.  
  
I heard Jesse scream my name before with such fear I felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice cold water on me. I landed with a mind-numbing smash into the wall, slipping down it like some helpless doll. Slipping down to Sean's feet. Where I lay, helpless.  
  
I couldn't breathe. I tried, oh how I tried, but something was constricting me. Then, thank the Lord, I could. Breathe, that is. Air came rushing into my lungs and the spots disappeared from my eyes.  
  
Suddenly my body was being yanked up by the same invisible force, and I felt myself being turned towards Sean, who was controlling me.  
  
"You're...mine..." he growled. To emphasise each word, he kindly squeezed my ribcage using his telekinetic powers. I gasped in pain as my air was limited and my already bruised ribs were forced together to breaking point. I gritted my teeth and tears were like acid in my eyes.  
  
My head snapped back as the pain ricocheted through my body like a bullet.  
  
"Sean-Sean...oh God...PLEASE SEAN...I can't-I can't..." I was drifting in and out of consciousness as the pain only increased, it was gripping my entire body and mind like someone was wrapping an iron blanket around me.  
  
I heard a ferocious growl from the other side of the room, and then Sean was slammed into the wall. All I saw was a blur...and then he was gone.  
  
I heard a stream of Spanish - it didn't exactly sound like a gush of compliments – and then the sound of bones breaking.  
  
I fell to the floor and my legs crumpled beneath me.  
  
"Owee owee owee ooooooooooooow!"  
  
But it didn't exactly do any good. Not that it every does. No one took any attention of me. Not even Paul, who I suddenly discovered had disappeared. God, what a loser. I mean, he could've at least tried to save me, or something.  
  
Sheesh. I can't believe I ever had even a tiny thing for him.  
  
Cos I didn't.  
  
I never ever even liked him. Ever.  
  
Maybe just a little. Like that time when he was kissing me on his bed. Afterwards, when I came to my senses, I realised it was bad. But before...yum- my. That boy is one heck of a kisser.  
  
Oh my God. I cannot believe I'm even thinking about that at a time like this!  
  
I glanced at Jesse and Sean. Jesse had a knee planted in Sean's stomach and was demolishing Sean's stomach with his fist, and occasionally his elbow.  
  
I decided I had to stop this. For myself, of course, I needed to see a doctor. So, I reluctantly lugged myself onto my hands and knees, and crawled slowly – and painfully – over toward Jesse.  
  
I tapped him on the shoulder. He didn't notice.  
  
I continued tapping. "Jesse?" He still didn't notice.  
  
I pushed him. He fell off Sean. He noticed.  
  
"Susannah!" He sounded quite obstinate and annoyed. Kinda like a little boy when you take away his toy fire engine. He even pouted a little.  
  
Then he saw the state I was in.  
  
"Nombre de dios, Susannah!" Another bout of Spanish swearing followed. He picked himself up and scooped me into his arms.  
  
"Ow ow ow."  
  
He shushed me and kissed my head. I concentrated on trying to get air into my lungs. I hear respiration is the thing to do, nowadays. Jesse started carrying me over to Father D's room. He just left Sean as if he had never been pummelling him to his second death.  
  
That's how important I was to him. I felt so privileged.  
  
Thank God no one saw me, is all I can say. How odd would it have looked to have seen me, seemingly hanging, cradled, in the air. And being blown by an invisible wind across the school.  
  
But still Jesse carried me to Father D's room. He was just about to open the door, when the door was flung open from the inside. By an incredibly troubled Paul Slater.  
  
"Oh my God, Suze, you're OK!" His face relaxed and then he hugged me.  
  
Seriously. He just grabbed me in this huge bear hug.  
  
While Jesse was still holding me.  
  
Awkward doesn't even come into it.  
  
I felt Jesse exhibit a low growl. It rumbled through his body into mine.  
  
Paul pulled away hastily and saw Jesse. His face tightened and a sneer appeared on his lips. I felt Jesse pull himself up to his full height. What, was he going to fight Paul with me cradled in his arms? What was he going to do? Bite Paul?  
  
"Alright Paul, lead me to..." Father Dom came rushing up behind Paul with his arms full of candles and a little black book nestled in between. The same book he used to exorcise me with.  
  
"Susannah! You're here! Are you alright? Come in, child, come in. Let's get you sat down right now." He gestured us in. Jesse was clutching me tighter and when he placed me in the big armchair opposite Father D's desk, he crouched down beside me and put his hand on my arm.  
  
"Father D, what's with the candles and stuff?" I pointed feebly to them. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was sleep.  
  
Father Dom actually looked slightly embarrassed. "Oh, well, when Paul came to me and explained your...ah...predicament, he suggested an exorcism. And judging by this Sean character, I thought it would be a good idea..."  
  
I raised my eyebrows. Father D was usually totally anti-exorcism.  
  
Out of the blue I remembered Paul.  
  
"Oh my God. Paul! How are you?" I looked around for him and found him standing near the door.  
  
"I'm fine, just a bump on the head. And, of course, a bit of a broken nose," he lifted his hand to his nose and started to smile. He stopped when it began to hurt.  
  
"I am sure it is just what you deserve, Slater," Jesse's grip on my arm had tightened when he saw me smile sympathetically at Paul. In all fairness, I did break off my smile the instant I remembered that this was all Paul's fault. If he hadn't tried it on with me and got in a fight with Sean, I could be enjoying my lunch break with my friends.  
  
"What would you know, Jesse?" Paul's eyes shrank and Jesse stood up. His fist were curled up into tight balls.  
  
"Oh God, not again," I murmured.  
  
"Susannah's right. Let's calm down, gentlemen," Father Dom interjected smoothly as he replaced his candles onto his desk.  
  
"He is no gentleman," Jesse growled.  
  
"Just because I'm not from the eighteenth century where all men have to wear tights," Paul scanned Jesse's clothes, his trousers resembling nothing like tights. "You must've been considered a pig back then, eh? Or...a cowboy?" Paul looked pointedly at Jesse's shoes.  
  
Jesse took a menacing step forward, Father D noticed and quickly stepped between them.  
  
"Now, now. I think we all need to take deep breath-"  
  
"I think you'll need to teach Jesse what exactly that is, Father Dom," Paul said, the familiar smirk spreading on his face. Jesse blanched and stood limply.  
  
"Paul, go to the nurse, she will see to your nose. Jesse, Susannah, we will talk." Father Dom's voice had such authority in it, Paul only hesitated for a second. As soon as he stepped out of Father D's office, the door slammed shut behind him, barely missing Paul's retreating back.  
  
Jesse stood facing it, his back facing me seemed to emulate anger.  
  
Father Dom coughed gently and Jesse turned around wordlessly and sat on the couch by the office's window, staring out of it.  
  
"Now, I think we ought to find a way of getting this Sean to move on. Susannah? Any ideas?"  
  
I stared at Father Dom. "Yeah, I got an idea. How about we exorcise him?"  
  
Father D choked slightly. "Oh, no, Susannah. Exorcism is always a last resort. Have you tried talking to Sean?"  
  
"Sean and I have been talking for about a month now, Father D. And it ain't done much good, I can tell you that. He's been getting more and more erratic. Exorcism is the only way." I folded my arms as if to say, "and that's the end of that."  
  
"Now, Susannah, I'm sure you're just misunderstanding him. He needs you at a time like this-"  
  
"Oh, don't worry, Father D, he's made it perfectly clear that he "needs" me." I turned my head to look at the wall with my arms still folded.  
  
"What?" I snapped my head round to Jesse.  
  
"What?" I replied dumbly, stalling for time. Crap. I couldn't tell him what Sean had done to me! He would kill him!  
  
Again!  
  
"What do you mean by that, Susannah?" He had swung his legs off the couch and was leaning towards me, staring at me intently.  
  
"What did I mean by what?" I spread my arms in mock innocence.  
  
"Susannah, you can tell me. Please, querida." He had moved so he was crouching down next to me and was gazing up at me with those liquid black, puppy dog eyes.  
  
I swallowed. Hard.  
  
"Urm, well, you know Paul?" OK, stupid question, I know. Jesse instantly scowled and grumbled. I took that as a yes. "Well, Sean is, I guess you could say, Sean is a lot like Paul."  
  
Jesse frowned in his cute way. "Susannah, I'm not sure I understand..."  
  
I sighed. This was gonna be hard.  
  
"You know Paul seems to have this," I chuckled nervously, "this infatuation with me? Well, Sean seems to have one too. Isn't that funny?" More nervous chuckling followed suit.  
  
Jesse wasn't amused.  
  
In fact, you could say he was quite livid.  
  
Murderous, maybe.  
  
At least, judging by the torrid flow of Spanish obscenities that followed, and the way he stood up so fast I cricked my neck following him, and the way the loose ornaments on the desk started shaking.  
  
"What did he do to you, Susannah?" His voice was trembling and his fist were balled so tightly his knuckles were turning white.  
  
"Well, it's not really what he did, it's more what-"  
  
"What did he do to you?" I gulped. I had never seen Jesse this angry. I shrank into my chair a little.  
  
"Well, nothing worse then Paul. You know, just pinned me to my bed and-"  
  
"Paul did what?" His head turned sharply to look at me.  
  
Shit. I'd forgotten I hadn't told him about that.  
  
"Paul?" I squeaked. "Who said anything about Paul?"  
  
The whole desk was shaking now and the windows were rattling. Jesse lowered himself to my level and cupped my face in his hands. I had nowhere else to look except into his eyes.  
  
"Querida, please. I won't be angry. I care for you, you know that. Please, Susannah." He had such a pleading look in his eyes I melted into my chair.  
  
And I gave in.  
  
Big mistake.  
  
"Well, that day I got my feet messed up? And when Paul said he found my hair thingy on his bed? And when he asked you if I, if I-" OK, this was embarrassing to say, especially in front of a priest. So I lowered my voice so only Jesse could hear. "-if I sighed when you kissed me?" The pain those questions were bringing to Jesse were evident in his face, and his hands tightened around my face.  
  
"Well, Paul and I were talking in his bedroom, and he got a little over- excited, I guess. He held me – hard – on his bed and...well." I pursed my lips expectantly at Jesse. His mouth fell open and disbelief sparked in his eyes. His hands dropped from my face like he was holding hot coals.  
  
I saw him swallow.  
  
"And Sean?" I felt tears spring to my eyes as I saw the hurt I was causing him.  
  
"Sean was pretty much the same." Jesse's eyes glistened and he turned his head to look out the window.  
  
I heard the bells ring for the end of lunch distantly, but none of us paid any attention.  
  
"Susannah," I gazed through my tears at Father Dom, who was sat at his now- still desk, his hands clenching the side of it and his face a mask of...of what? I couldn't tell. I didn't want to. All I cared about was Jesse.  
  
"Susannah, did they...did they..." I suddenly realised, from the look of pain and sadness on his face, what Father Dom was trying to suggest.  
  
"No! No, I didn't let them! God, I would've told you the instant it happened if they had raped me! Sheesh, I'm not that stupid." But this little piece of - what I would've though reassuring – news didn't comfort Jesse.  
  
Instead I heard an anguished roar and then his fist was sinking through the wall of Father D's office.  
  
"Jesse!" We both yelled. Jesse turned to look at me. His scar glowing ominously and his eyes... His eyes were burning with so much passion, they scared me. Hooh boy, they scared me.  
  
"I'll kill them. I'll kill them for what they did to my Susannah. My Susannah." His chest was heaving and his shoulders were rising and falling rapidly.  
  
"Jesse, please, calm down. Susannah is fine, aren't you, Susannah?" Father D looked at me helplessly.  
  
I rose out of my chair and walked quietly over to Jesse. "I'm fine, Jesse. See? No harm done! It's not as bad as it sounds, I swear. I mean, nowadays, tonnes of girls get sexually harassed everyday!" Okay, it was a bit of a random thing to say, but I just wanted to let Jesse know I was alright. Cos I am.  
  
I laid my hand on Jesse's shoulder. He circled his head to look at me.  
  
"I'm sorry," was all he said.  
  
And then...  
  
He was gone. 


	17. On Your Own

Disclaimer: You know, I might actually be Meg Cabot. You never know. I could be. Don't give me that look. Stop it. Stop it!  
  
Loser.  
  
OK, I thought I would stick this chappie up now. STRAIGHT AFTER I PUT THE OTHER ONE UP. Because I am a good girl. When I want to be.  
  
**Kewine:** candy is gooooood, always eat candy.... Finals sound like...fun... LOVE the new catchphrase. LOVE it.

* * *

"Jesse? Jesse?" I looked around wildly.  
  
"Susannah..." said Father D calmly, standing up from behind his desk.  
  
"Jesse!" I whirled round, searching for Jesse.  
  
"Susannah." Father D started walking around his desk.  
  
"Jesse! Please, Jesse!" Tears were pouring silently from my eyes. They were gushing, glistening, like tiny droplets of liquid ice, down my cheeks. Falling silently onto the floor, ignored and unwanted.  
  
"Susannah," Father D was approaching me from behind. I twisted my body this way and that, hunting for any sign of Jesse.  
  
"Jesse! Come back! Jesse, I need you! Do you hear! I need you! Jesse, come back!" I was screaming dramatically, spinning round so quickly everything was a blur. But that may have been because of the tears. It may have been because my mind had gone numb and blank. It may have been because, perhaps, the room actually was spinning.  
  
I wouldn't have cared if the world was spinning off its axis. All I cared about was Jesse. And he was gone. So what had I left to care for? I had pushed him away.  
  
"Susannah," Father Dominic's hand was resting on my shoulder, firmly trying to pull me round to face him.  
  
"Jesse! Jesse!" My screaming was hysteric, high, and loud. "Jesse! No, Jesse! Jesse!"  
  
"Susannah!" Father D had turned me to look at him. We stared at each other for a split second. My tears making the room dance in my vision. And in that split second, I saw pity. I saw loss. I saw truth. I saw eternal sadness.  
  
I saw hopelessness.  
  
Jesse was gone.  
  
What had I done?  
  
What had I done?  
  
"I'm sorry, Jesse...I'm sorry," I was sobbing now, sinking to the ground as the realisation hit me like a lightning bolt. Scorching everything inside of me, riding in my blood. "Jesse, I'm sorry! I'm sor-ry!" My sobs were wracking my body.  
  
I buried my head in my hands as Father Dom clutched me to his chest, stroking my hair sympathetically. Pitying me.  
  
"Jesse...Jesse, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm...I'm..." I couldn't take it anymore. I just...couldn't take it.  
  
Suddenly all I wanted to do, was let go.  
  
Let go of everything that was making my life so shitty. Let go of everything that wouldn't let me be happy. Wouldn't let me be normal and happy. I let go.  
  
I let go.  
  
I let go.  
  
What was the point of holding on to the impossible? That slimy creature you strove so long to get hold of, that slimy thing you sacrificed so much of your life and your life's possessions for. That thing that, no matter how hard you held on for, would also always get away.  
  
After all that work it would just...abandon you.  
  
Without a glance back.  
  
Without a last thought of you.  
  
It would discard you, throw you away, cast you off.  
  
Reject you.  
  
So I let go of that slimy, disgusting creature. I let go of any hope of catching hold of the impossible.  
  
I just let go.  
  
And everything was gone.  
  
Everything went black.  
  
I had let go. 


	18. OTT? Moi? Maybe Just A Little

**Disclaimer:** Whatever.  
  
**Clk161821:** Of course she's gonna end up with one of them!!! Just...which one...?  
  
**BloodyRayne:** Holy FRUKING skittles? WHAT THE DEVIL DOES THAT MEAN????? I love skittles... where abouts in Cali are you from? I don't know anywhere in California but I'm curious anyway.  
  
**Universalcall:** All your questions will be answered in due time, I pwomise. Moowahahaaaa!!! I have end of year exams too!!! I am from the Midlands – Oxfordshire, if you've ever heard of it. How bout you? Can I add you to my list of stalkers? I mean, ah hem, list of friends...  
  
**Muzacgirl:** Too many veggies??? How can eating too many vegetables make you crazy????? PUT DOWN THE GREEN BEANS, GIRL. (I know the whole Suze-going- hysterical thing was a bit out of character, but I was watching Armageddon and that film AWLAYS makes me cry, even though I've seen it 5 times before... -_ cough cough loser cough_ -  
  
**Alexis De Silva:** I totally agree with you Alexis De Silva (is that actually your real name???), UPDATE SOON GOTHIC GRANNY, PUT DOWN THE EYELINER AND EVANESCENCE CD AND START TYPING!!!! And thank you for taking a leak, Alexis, I feel so relieved. (get it? Relieved, like when you pee you relieve yourself? Aw, my wit is wasted on you feeble mortals)  
  
**Ghost Magic:** Thank you! And I will write more! Aw, you guys are so sweet.  
  
**Frosted-Darkfox:** Your name sounds like some kind of sweet. And I am continuing as quickly as I can (like, right now)  
  
**Strawberry Bliss:** You welcome. And thank you for reading and reviewing so quickly. Bless your strawberry-coated heart.  
  
**Kewine:** AMERICAN HISTORY???? THAT IS SO COOL!!! We do History, but it sucks. It's like "In WW2, bla bla bla." And "Queen Victoria once ate a beetle and laughed". And do you really have individual Algebra classes?? And Gifted and Talented?? OMG, ARE YOU A CHEERLEADER????? Do you only have 3 days of school let til you break up for the Summer? We (in England) have about a month. AND it's not even sunny. Unlike in America where it is.EVERYWHERE. LOVE "holy geeze, blue cheese". LOVE IT. Keep up the good work!!! Also, I did rather hope your real name wasn't Kewine, that would just be odd. (no offence to any Kewines out there!) I have, however, never seen Lilo and Stitch...OK, you can stop yelling in shock now! I know, I know. But I will watch it...one day... You are a very violent child, aren't you? "and then WHAMO! Let's punch a wall! Yippe!!" Of course us guys watch the Simpsons, we're not completely deprived. And I feel really sorry for your ballet teacher. You're like a weapon in a tutu. Dangerous...but oh-so pretty! And that's what counts, after all...  
  
**Nice Hayley:** I'm sorry! Please stop crying!!!!! – _cackles evilly and thanks the gods_ - and Jesse hasn't gone berserk, he's just a little bit upset. He is not a nutcase. Paul and Sean can't get along, can they? They both love Suze, how can they get along when they're both fighting for her heart? And I am sooo gonna write another story after this...AND DEDICATE IT TO NICE HAYLEY, FOR BEING SO NICE. And why is Emily such a cool name? (although, I must agree, it is - flashes cheesey smile and winks - ) My name isn't Horseradish.... Do you know anyone who is called Horseradish??? HORSERADISH??????????????????????????????????????

* * *

I took in a deep breath...and let it out. Then I opened my eyes.  
  
And I was in Shadowland.  
  
Strangely, I didn't panic. I sat in the mist, staring ahead. The silence wasn't oppressive like it usually was. The fog was chilling, like it usually was. And the endless corridors weren't haunting, like they usually were.  
  
For once in my life, I felt safe.  
  
I broke out of my stare and looked around calmly, sniffling disinterestedly as my tears slowly dried. I laughed, a bitter, ironic laugh.  
  
This was where I had come _chasing_ after Jesse like some poor lost soul a few months ago. Now I had come up here to escape him. Or rather, to escape the gaping crevice in my heart he had made.  
  
I could feel the fresh gash in my heart spreading. Like an earthquake causing a crack in the ground to spread, wider and wider. Until there was nothing left but an empty, bottomless hole. The bruises on my body that hurt in the real world were gone up here, but a new pain was taking providence over their absence.  
  
As the gash widened through out my heart, an unsullied tenderness was opening up. It was like heartburn, except now I had no heart to burn.  
  
New tears sprang to my eyes as I recognised the symptoms of a heartless body, the same symptoms I had experienced only a month ago. The symptoms Jesse had caused. The symptoms Jesse had cured.  
  
And here he was doing it again.  
  
Except he wasn't coming back to help me this time.  
  
This time, I was on my own.  
  
I fought back my tears and gritted my teeth, fists clenching at my sides and my body tensing, straightening itself out in defiance.  
  
No! I was _not_ going through this again!  
  
I didn't _deserve_ this! _Why_ couldn't I just live? Live like a normal person?  
  
"_Why?"_ I cried out in anguish. I glanced around looking for an answer. Anything.  
  
But of course, there wasn't an answer.  
  
My gaze suddenly locked onto one of the many doors lining the corridor. Would it be so bad if I just...went away? I took a step towards the door. Would it be so bad if I just opened one of the doors? Another step. If I took a peek? Another step. Maybe even stepped across the threshold? One more step and I would be able to reach the doorknob. Would anyone actually miss me? I reached my hand out, the door seemed be radiating a slight heat, almost forbidding me to touch it.  
  
My hand was on the doorknob, clasping it desperately. My mind was racing but the thoughts and memories were blurring so I couldn't understand them. I was focusing on twisting the doorknob.  
  
I heard a faint latch click.  
  
One slight push...  
  
"Suze!" And the door slammed shut. It was only half a centimetre open but it still managed to slam itself shut. I felt myself being pushed away and almost fell over. I gave another bitter chuckle and turned towards the intruder.  
  
"What do you want?" My voice was acid and my eyes were blank.  
  
Sean seemed a little taken aback by my anger and resentment, he took a step forward and raised his hand upwards, toward me. I scowled and a guttural noise rose in my throat. Sean froze.  
  
"I don't think you should open that door, Suze," he began slowly. Fear was making his voice shake slightly and his pupils were shrinking.  
  
"I don't give a toss what you think, _Sean_," I said his name scathingly, and I didn't say toss.  
  
"Suze, please, I think we need to talk." He seemed genuinely concerned. I stared at him.  
  
And then burst out laughing. I wasn't acting like normal-Suze, I felt reckless and daring. I didn't care what happened to me, I didn't care about consequences. Why should I? I was about to end it all, anyway.  
  
"Talk about _what_, Sean? Huh? What do you wanna talk about? The weather? The _news_?" I gave a short bark of laughter. _"Us?"_ Sean flinched as if he'd been slapped.  
  
"Suze, come on. I'm sorry. What more can I say?" He spread his arms and I stared at them. This guy had almost killed me. And he was apologizing.  
  
Are all guys this stupid? Or just the ones I meet?  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Sean. You are _so_ right. I for_give_ you. Wanna kiss and make up?" I puckered my lips and closed my eyes, clasping my hands together, radiating mockery.  
  
I opened my eyes to find Sean scowling and I burst out laughing again.  
  
"Sorry, Sean. Do you want me to be a bit more serious? It's just, I'm finding that quite hard at the moment. See. You tried to kill me." Sean opened his mouth to protest but I carried on. "And you just broke up my relationship with Jesse. Sean, you've just ruined my life. How does it make you feel?" Again, Sean opened his mouth. Again, I carried on.  
  
"_Basically_, Sean, I'm not in a forgiving mood. Quite the opposite, really. Odd, I know. But that's just how I feel. I know you're probably used to having girls falling at your feet, _begging_ you for forgiveness, _begging_ you to just_ look_ at them. So I'm sorry to disappoint you, Sean. But, like I said, I'm not in a forgiving mood."  
  
I looked him up and down, sizing him up, checking him out. For no particular reason. I just had nothing else to do. I felt restless and bored. I wanted some action. I _needed _some action.  
  
"So I'm thinking, Sean. I'm thinking, maybe you should just _piss off_." And then my foot was connecting with his head, whipping it back. I heard a snap, and he fell over, his neck at an odd angle. I raised my eyebrow.  
  
"Didn't even put up a fight," I tutted, muttering to myself. His head slowly snapped back and he lay in shock, getting his bearings. Before he had a chance to get up, I slowly and calmly walked over to him and kneeled over him, straddling his stomach.  
  
"Oh my God, Sean! Are you OK?" I put my hands to my open mouth in false shock and horror. He stared at me incredulously. I punched him in the nose.  
  
His arms shot up to try to stop me but I grabbed them and twisted them round. He let out a groan of pain. I twisted them harder. I let go and hi pulled his hands away immediately. I punched him in the nose again and he let out a scream of pain as his broken nose – it was slowly moving back into place – was crushed further.  
  
I was on a roll. I was unstoppable. Eventually though I got bored. I suddenly stood up and grabbed the front of his shirt, hauling him up to my level. He took a swing at me and I ducked. He took another one and hit me. I felt the sting on my cheek and put my tongue to the side of my mouth, tasting blood.  
  
I revelled in the fight and kneed Sean where it hurt.  
  
He let out an _"Oof!"_ and doubled over.  
  
"Pathetic," I spat. His hand suddenly reached out and grabbed my shirt around my stomach. I looked down in shock. He yanked his arm holding me to the side and I flew against to wall of the corridor, smacking into the hard nothing that was the wall. I slid down the wall and stared at Sean, still crouched over and concentrating on his breathing.  
  
I smiled and picked myself up, ignoring the sharp pain in my ankle, refusing to limp over. Sean looked up as I approached and I punched his face back down so he was looking at the ground again.  
  
He toppled over in front of one of the doors.  
  
I grabbed a handful of shirt from his back and wrenched him away from the door and closer to my feet. With my other hand, I tugged the door in front of me open, and then through the curled-up Sean through the doorway. I slammed the door and brushed my hands together, giving a contented sigh.  
  
Sean was no more.  
  
I suddenly became conscious of what I had done, and my – slightly sadistic – smile was washed clean off my neon red face.  
  
I had just forced someone to die.  
  
Again.  
  
Oh my God.  
  
_Oh_ my God.  
  
_Oh_ my _God_.  
  
"Oh my God..." I had exorcised him. But it was worst than that. Sean hadn't even been expecting it, I mean, one minute he'd been trying to sweet talk me, then my fist was smashing his face to a pulp, then he was gone.  
  
"Oh my God..."  
  
I felt sick. Not just sick sick.  
  
I felt like my bones were being eroded away by the acidity of my sick that was now flooding my veins and arteries, clogging at my heart. My face went as white as the unearthly, unreal fog that crept anonymously along the invisible floor.  
  
"Oh...my...God..." What the hell had I done? What the hell had I turned into?  
  
I was Devil Woman. I had no heart. How could I do anything so cruel? Or so _stupid_? I collapsed onto my knees on the floor and buried my head in my heads, groaning with shame.  
  
Well, I thought, that's it. I'm officially going to hell. It's been a nice life. I just wanna thank my mom for being so supportive – except for the whole let's-go-see-my-friend-the-psychiatrist – and I wanna thank my dad, and Andy, and Doc, and Father D. And of course my very few friends Gina, Adam, and CeeCee.  
  
I pushed a shaking hand through my hair.  
  
I tried to be optimistic. So, Jesse had deserted me – a familiar twang resounded on my heart strings as a sense of yearning struck me full-on – and so, I had just banished a helpless soul to the land of Never, and so, as soon as I got back on earth all I had to look forward to was a gloating Paul; an ignorant family; questioning friends and inescapable looks of sympathy from Father D. So what?  
  
I was Suze Simon.  
  
Mediator.  
  
Ass-kicker.  
  
_Woman.  
_  
Almost, anyway.  
  
Which reminds me, my seventeenth birthday is like, a coupla months away and I hadn't spotted any suspicious parcels being sneaked into the house by my mother. What was up with that?  
  
Anyhow.  
  
I was Suze Simon, the Invincible. Sometimes that's an incredibly unfortunate title. But it was the path God had chosen for me. (And I want a few words with the Big Man when my time comes!)  
  
I picked myself up, a new sense of well-being dancing around me. I squared my shoulders, shook my mane of shiny locks, cracked my knuckles and my neck, and tried a smile. When I felt it turn into a sickly grimace I instantly stopped and coughed awkwardly.  
  
I gave up with the smiles after a few more attempts and made a noise halfway between a sigh and a growl.  
  
And then I shimmered back to earth.  
  
A newfound woman.  
  
Almost, anyway.

* * *

**A/N:** OK, I KNOW this was a really really ODD and completely un-Suze-like chapter (as was the previous) and I APOLOGISE. But I typed this chapter during ER which was exceptionally sad cos Carter's ickle baby was still- born. So yeah. It's un-Suze-like, I hope you can get over it. If you can't, I think you should leave, hard as it for me to say, please go...walk out that door...I don't love you...and I don't need you anymore...weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?...did you think I'd crumble...did you think I'd LAY DOWN AND DIE?...OH NO NOT I!!...I WILL SURVIVE...AS LONG AS I'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE I KNOW I'LL STAY ALIVE...I'VE GOT ALL MY LIFE TO LIVE...I'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE TO GIVE...I WILL SURVIVE...I WILL SURVIVE...OOO-OOOH!  
  
Phew. Let's all go to the disco!  
  
Or not. 


	19. The Ideal Time For The Hangover Fairy Go...

**Disclaimer:** You never know...  
  
**A/N:** Can I just say I really do love you guys reviewing. And can all the people who are reading my story in secret and not reviewing, PLEASE COME OUT OF THE STORY-READING CLOSET. COME OUT AND TELL ME YOU ARE READING MY STORY. Tell me about yourselves...about my story...tell me...feed me your love (if you hate my story, than you won't have got this far in my story so you won't be reading this ands so you won't review. So we all win. Losers. WOOOO!!!  
  
**TT:** "Oh goddess no" Um, excuth me? "oh GODDESS no" "oh _GODDESS_ no" seriously Tian, _GODDESS_. What goddess would that be? I take it you aren't talking about me, otherwise you way say God...  
  
**Nice Hayley:** Oooh, are a member of Meg Cabot's book clubby thingy? I AM. I AM. No seriously. Hahaha. I can't believe you guys are already outta school. When do you go back???  
  
**Alexis De Silva:** Keep up the disco dancing!! Where do you come from mystery- obsessive-Alexis-DE-SILVA? I am truly curious. If you say Spain, I am setting those men in white coats on you so fast you won't even have time to say "Nombre de dios!"  
  
**AngelicHalo:** Don't think your name disguising your completely Unangelic side. Cos it doesn't. I will make sure ALL know just how unangelic you are, you crazy, unangelic fool, you. Also, I totally got you on MSN. It's only a matter of time until we bump into each other on it...only a matter of time...be afraid, Kat, be very afraid... I know I am!  
  
**Kewine:** Oh how I look forward to your long reviews, seriously, they make my day. It's like I'm talking to a real person. But I know you're just a robot. I _know_. (I have also had a rubarb and custard flavoured vodka shot and a peach vodka perry martini cocktail. I am feeling _quite_ the merry gentleman. And he has a v nice body! (get it? I said I was feeling him when really I meant...oh never mind)) Can I just say that I go to a private school which could be classed as a larger version of your Tag thingy, so I am MORTALLY OFFENDED. Kinda. If I was less tipsy I may be, anyway. Nah, you're to nice to be angry at. Or are you...? Doo doo doo doo... Now, when the _devil_ are you gonna put up your story on Fanfic??? Cos girl, you are so putting it up. Even if I have to go all the way to the US of A and PIN YOU TO THE COMPUTER KEYBOARD AND STAPLE YOUR FINGERS TO THE KEYS, USING MONKEYS TO DANCE ON YOUR HANDS WITH SPIKED TRAINERS, PUSHING YOUR FINGERS ONTO THE KEYS AND PUTTING YOUR STORY ONTO FANFIC. I am serious. There is a glint in my eye. A mighty dangerous glint. Don't even think about running away to Mexico. I will hunt you down. With a troop of monkeys in tow.  
  
**Gothic Granny:** Lolly pop...doo doo doo doo doo...you make my heart goooo giddy up...doo doo doo doo doo...you are as sweet as candy...oooh...you are my sugar dandy...whoa whoa whoa whoa... OH OH, and I know YOU are part of Meg Cabot's book club. Spreading your love... Poor suckers, they never stood a chance ;- D Why did you have to sing "I Will Survive" in your _school assembly?_ What kind of school do you go to??? Man, you Americans are odder than I thought.  
  
**Brittany:** Hahaha, I love Paul. You love Paul. But...does Suze? Ah, who cares. I control her now, I can make her do what I want. MOOWHAHAHAHAAA!!!  
  
So this is how God feels...

* * *

As I opened my eyes, squinting in the sudden harsh light, that feeling of power that had been like an aura around me was suddenly blown away. What was I doing? This was a bad idea, Suze. Real bad.  
  
But there was no going back now. Especially when Father D was clutching me so tightly.  
  
"Whoa, Father Dom, someone die? You look like you've seen a ghost!" I slowly pushed my self up so I was half-lying on the floor with my wobbly arms supporting me.  
  
"Oh Susannah!" Father D didn't let go of his iron grip he had on my arm. "I had no idea what had happened to you! One moment, you were weeping hysterically in my arms," I cringed at the memory, "and the next you were completely lifeless! I was seriously considering calling the paramedics!"  
  
I felt a bit bad then. All that time I had been worrying about myself – and how Father Dom would react to how I had "dealt" with Sean – when he had been down here, not knowing what had happened to me.  
  
"Sorry, Father Dom, I just needed to get away for a bit. And seems like now- a-days Shadowland is the only place I can go for an all-expenses paid spa break without the kids interrupting." Father D looked at me as if I had been speaking in tongues.  
  
"Shadowland is quiet." I said shortly. But the good ol' priest still looked troubled.  
  
"Susannah, I honestly don't think it's a good idea to use that..._place_," he hesitated for so long looking for the right word I was beginning to think he may have gone for a quick trip there himself, "as a getaway from any emotional troubles you're going through. Need I remind you it _is_ a place for the _dead_?"  
  
A little shiver seemed to go through the room and I looked down, instantly regretting it as the lead weight in my head bore down on the inside of my forehead.  
  
"Nnnngh," I moaned intelligently.  
  
"Is anything wrong, Susannah?" Father D's long white eyebrows were woven together with worry.  
  
"Just a little Shadowland hangover, that's all. It'll fade in a couple of hours." I started to stand but instantly over balanced and toppled back, the usual bright California sunlight streaming through the window was now unbearable and felt like a million toothpicks stabbing at the back of my eyeballs.  
  
Not nice.  
  
Father Dom captured my arm in his frighteningly tight grip, for an old man, and led me over to his armchair.  
  
"Susannah, I think it would be best for you to wait here until the end of school, you're clearly not up to lessons and you've already missed most of school anyway, it would be a tad inconspicuous for you to go back to lessons now."  
  
I nodded then stopped as soon as I began.  
  
Suddenly a picture of my bed popped into my head. My comfy, cool, shadowy bed. Waiting for me.  
  
"Father D, I really think I'd be better at home, lying down. I'm sure I can make it back there. Look, I can already stand on my own," to punctuate this fallible lie, I stood up. It took all my physical – and mental – strength not to collapse back into the chair that suddenly seemed so appealing.  
  
Father D began to object but I quickly shut him up.  
  
"Look, Father D, I need some time to think, and I'm not gonna get any better sat here in this stuff office. Tell Brad I went home early cos I was ill and it'll all be fine. Seriously. I just...really need to get home. Please?"  
  
I gave him the irresistible puppy dog eyes.  
  
Father D rolled his and waved his hand in admittance and defeat.  
  
I squeaked my thank you and half ran, half limped out of the room.  
  
I can't for the life of me remember anything about the walk home I was so busy concentrating on not collapsing in a sweaty, gasping heap.  
  
I somehow managed my way up the stairs and into my room, where I fell into a sound sleep.  
  
"Susie, Susie..." I grunted as the voice broke into my deep warm unconsciousness and the breath tickled my ear and neck. "Susie, honey, come on. It's dinnertime."  
  
I peeled my eyes back and the stabbing pain that had been unavoidably prominent a few hours ago was slowly fading. Fading, but still noticeably there.  
  
I managed a weak smile. "Hey mom." A huge yawn broke from my body and it lasted for about five minutes. My jaw was seriously aching afterwards.  
  
Mom gave a small warm smile back then walked out of the room.  
  
After one more fit of rigorous stretching – I must have looked like someone was sticking a rod into me and was moving it about inside – and several jaw- breaking yawns later, I slowly trudged downstairs noticing how needlessly bright the houselights were.  
  
I plonked down into my usual chair at the table and rubbed my eyes apathetically whilst the family tucked into the gourmet food. I gazed round at my mother and Andy and his offspring in disgusted-shock. My appetite was gone as I gawked at them stuffing their faces as if it were the last meal they would ever eat. I felt acidic bile rising in the back of my throat and quashed it down. I reached a shaking hand out for my water and swallowed it roughly, my headache was coming back full blast and suddenly my stomach was feeling like something out of _Earthquake 10.5_.  
  
"Urm, you know what, mom? I'm not-" my stomach convulsed and I jammed my mouth shut. "I'm not feeling too good. I think I'm gonna hit the hay early tonight." I rose unsteadily from my chair.  
  
"Oh, Suze, honey. Are you sure? Maybe some food will make you feel better," mom tilted her plate towards me and I got a fresh whiff of pungent four cheese pasta.  
  
There was no quashing the bile this time. Instead, I threw my hand over my mouth and ran into the toilet, unleashing the stirring dragon within. Not a particularly pretty or fragrant dragon either.  
  
I heard footsteps thundering down the hallway towards me. A moment later my mom was kneeling beside me holding back my hair and Andy was frowning sympathetically, while warily hovering on the threshold of the toilet. Doc was peeking curiously – too curiously for my liking – from behind his father.  
  
Mom made soothing whale noises ( I swear to God, that's what they sounded like, she should make her own tape) while I continued to barf.  
  
When I was done I resignedly rested my head on the (clean) rim of the toilet bowl, breathing in through the nose...out through the mouth...in through the nose...out through the mouth.  
  
I slowly stood up and washed my face in the sink, mom still holding back my hair and Andy and Doc still standing unhelpfully (well what did I expect? They were men) by the door. When I was feeling only slightly more cleansed and refreshed, I made my way unstably up to my bedroom.  
  
I don't remember my mom changing me into my PJs, fetching me a glass of water, placing a bowl by my bed (in case I needed to unleash any more dragons), or mopping my sweaty, clammy face with a cool damp cloth. But she did. Like all mothers do when their child is ill, she sat by me soothing and calming me until I was nestled in a fitful sleep.  
  
When I awoke, it was to dappled, yellow sunlight, streaming in through a gap in my curtains as the midmorning sun still rose across peaceful Carmel.  
  
Someone was stroking their soft back of their across my forehead. They stopped when I opened my eyes. My still-focusing eyes drifted over to this person.  
  
I started a half smile to thank my mom for being so nice to me and sitting up with me all night but stopped.  
  
It wasn't mom. 


	20. The Best Bit's The Making Up

**A/N:** I just got my ear pierced at the top and it really hurts. But it looks cool. I also bought some nail varnish and it's supposed to last for like 5 days but I've only had it on for half a day and it's all flaking off. I think I'm going to hafta write another complaint letter.  
  
(I write a lotta letters of complaint to companies who do not reach my grande expectations. It's fun. They send you free stuff)  
  
OK, I was just watching _Silence Of The Lambs_, and Hannibal Lector says this line, _**"I'm just having an old friend for dinner."**_ That single line is haunting me. I keep having these dreams where all my friends are sat round this table and I'm in the **middle** of the table, and I'm wearing this bikini with these **fat little pink pigs** on. And then this dude in a huge multicolour **afro** puts an **apple** in my mouth but before he does I say, **"Bite me"** and the apple says, in a really (mock) posh **English** voice, **"Oh, don't worry dear, they will"** and then all my friends start **prodding** me and my bikini starts getting really **tight** and the pigs on it start snorting and **oinking.** And then this ginormous **lobster** looms over me and gobbles me up.  
  
**I put things in bold to make you pay attention and actually read it, by the way. Hehehe.**  
  
**And then** I go onto this other dream where, haha, basically, oh man, it's really funny, haha. Basically, this really cute guy ------------- me, and then we ---------- And it's really nice because he has a --------- and I'm like "Oh my God, it's so -----------" and then we're ------------- and I'm like "-------------" and he's like "-" and then this huge ice cream sundae appears and I'm like, "You know, it would be really nice if you ----------" and so he ------- and then I repeat "--------" and he repeats "-". And Oh. My. God.  
  
I know I know, but hey, it's not my fault TV shows such unadulterated filth and I happen to be influenced by it.  
  
....  
  
Seriously, it's a really nice dream. The one after the whole getting- gobbled-up-by-a-giant-lobster dream.  
  
Cos that guy is soooooo ----------. I know I know. So can you really blame me for ---------- him? I didn't think so.  
  
**Gothic Granny:** OMG!!! You're an Aussie???? THAT IS SO FREAKING COOL!! If there are any other people in the world I love as much as Americans, its Australians! OMG. I swear to God, this is Fate. This is Destiny. See, I've always said that I'm either gonna go live in America and become a company lawyer there...OR GO DO IT IN AUSTRALIA!!! OMG!!!! That is soooooo odd. Wow. Do you surf? OMG, can you tell me some of the other Aussie soaps you watch, apart from Neighbours and H&A. Do you have a pet koala or wallaby?  
  
**AngelicHalo:** I'm glad you are actually enjoying reviewing this story, although I would rather hope you enjoyed reviewing all the stories you reviewed... My real name is Emily!!! Woooo. Yeah. OK, just went on your (cool) forum thingy, who the devil is RooneyRox or whatever? I sense a slight obsession with Rooney... And is it just me, or are all you friends completely schizo? Mad? Eccentric? Odd? I am just writing this story as I go along, I have no idea what's gonna happen next! But I'm gonna finish it in a coupla chapters cos I have a new story IN MY MIND for Mediator and I think you may like it... ALSO, on your forum thingy, it said that tonnes of your posts were posted at like 6 IN THE MORNING. Please say the clock is wrong. 6 IN THE MORNING???? That is wrong, man.  
  
**Ghost Magic:** Ah, so eloquent with your praise and reviews. ;-)  
  
**Alexis De Silva:** How come all my reviewers are completely nuts? I mean seriously. You guys are all mental. Especially you, Miss Alexis Obsessive.  
  
**Liz:** Oooh, a new addition to the Trouble Love clan (i **HATE** the title of my story so much) . And in what country to you dwell, eh? On you knees isn't good enough, young lady. Kiss my feet!  
  
**Nice Hayley:** I LOVE PEPPERONI PIZZA! Not regurgitated pepperoni pizza, obviously. That would just be gross.  
  
**Kewine:** What kind of question is that? "Have you ever seen Cinderella?" Of course I have, fool! And I would be extremely worried if that tune and those words popped into my head. Very worried.  
  
**Chayter:** You're gonna go nuts? What do you think you are now...? Don't try and act normal, we can all see right through you...Can't we guys?_ -resounding cheers form all around -_ There's no escape....

* * *

"Jesse!" I sat bolt upright and reached out my hand to clasp his arm that was laid on the bedcover with his hand resting above my stomach. A look of shock passed across Jesse's face an then he was gone, his blue sparkles suddenly seemed to reflect pain and sadness, they were ice cold. And then, my hand was clasping thin air.  
  
"Don't go..." I whispered.  
  
But it was too late.  
  
At least I knew though.  
  
Jesse hadn't moved on.  
  
He had just moved out.  
  
He was avoiding me. But still, looking after me. Now how cute is that? How many boyfriends do you know who would do that?  
  
And Jesse wasn't even my boyfriend!  
  
OK, I don't know why I'm celebrating that fact.  
  
But he had been here! He had soothed my brow, watched me all night long, kept me safe.  
  
Jesse still cared for me.  
  
Hell, he might even still love me!  
  
This newfound hope filled me with a golden ball of warmth. I smiled slyly an jumped out of bed. It was like my life had regained all meaning again, my heart suddenly blossomed, like those roses you see in films, when they're sped up. So all you see is a flower bursting into life unexpectedly, but welcome.  
  
I had a shower, brushed my teeth twelve times and swallowed a whole tube of toothpaste. Barf-breath is so not the way to win back your ghost boyfriend. I got dressed (picking my outfit so I looked good without trying even though I did try, you get it, right?) and went downstairs. There was a note on the table from mom, _'Had to go to work as did Andy, hoe you're feeling better. See you tonight xxx'_.  
  
OK, so it was midday, as I sat at the table, munching on my cornflakes (A/N: you Americans have Cornflakes, right? I mean, aren't loadsa girls being found dead in cornfields all the time? Sorry to sound so crude but that's how I remember things – crudity) I plotted on how to get Jesse back into my good books.  
  
If I just called him, what would I say?  
  
What would _he_ say?  
  
Hell, if I could have it my way, we wouldn't say anything! We would just kiss and make up.  
  
Just the thought of Jesse being near me, his hands on me, his lips on mine, his body pressed against mine, just the thought of Jesse, made me shiver and tremble. Made my nerves go shot and raw. Made my body flush hot and go all goosepimply with cold at the same time.  
  
A great void seemed to fill me then. A great vacuum of yearning and loneliness. The yearning tweaked at my stomach and heart. All I wanted was Jesse. That's all I've ever wanted.  
  
And he's always been there for me.  
  
Sure, I used to think he was a pain in the ass and a nuisance, now I was just desperate to hear his soft whispered "_querida_". Or his disapproving "Susannah".  
  
And I'm pretty sure Spike is feeling the same.  
  
"Yeah!" I suddenly burst out through a mouthful of cornflakes. I swallowed and continued. "What about Spike, huh? Are you just gonna leave him all on his own? Spike is a helpless cat, Jesse, how can you just abandon him? After all he's been through."  
  
I dropped my spoon into my bowl with a clatter and a splash and sat up with my back straight.  
  
"Are you just gonna leave Spike friendless and lonely in this cruel, cat- hating world? I thought you were better than that Jesse. I mean, God, Spike isn't exactly the cutest baby in the cradle but hell, even he deserves to be loved!"  
  
The kitchen blinds on the window behind started shaking noisily and I whipped round out of my chair.  
  
And sure enough, there was Jesse standing with his arms crossed, his brow furrowed, and his scar glowing.  
  
"Is that all you care about? The _cat?"_ Jesse demanded, saying the word cat with pure disbelief.  
  
I stared at him in shock. Then I realised.  
  
Jesse was jealous!  
  
Jesse thought I would be broken at his leaving, and here I was worrying about the cat! Well, ha! Serves him right! If all he's angry about is the fact I'm not heartbroken, well. That's not exactly gentlemanly. And Jesse was the definition of _gentlemanly_.  
  
I pouted and crossed my arms.  
  
"Well, he's been sulking all day and night."  
  
"And how would you know that, _querida_? You've only been in your house for a short time and in all of that time you've been asleep!" Jesse's mouth formed a stubborn pout and my eyes drifted to those lips.  
  
I coughed and dragged them back up to his eyes and got lost there instead.  
  
"Well, I admit. I took my time getting home after..." I trailed off and looked down at the floor. But when I started getting memories of what had happened when I had gone up to Shadowland and met Sean, my eyes shot to the window where I concentrated on a bird that was sat on the fence in the garden.  
  
"I had some thinking to do," I finally whispered. The bird looked at me and looked away. He bounced along the fence and stopped.  
  
"So did I," Jesse whispered back. I hadn't noticed he had taken a step towards me.  
  
I nodded and brought my gaze back to the bird.  
  
It was a fat bird. And pretty dull. I suddenly got worried. What if Spike was waiting out there for it? Waiting to pounce.  
  
"Where's Spike?" I asked Jesse. He frowned.  
  
"Is that the only reason you want me back? So that Spike isn't lonely? Is that all?" His eyes searched mine.  
  
I stifled a laugh.  
  
"Well, he's a very special cat..." Jesse's jaw literally dropped.  
  
"But what about you? Don't you get...lonely?" He took another step towards me. Suddenly I had no desire to laugh. Oh no, I was having desires of a whole different nature. My arms twitched at my sides.  
  
"Meh," was all I said with a dismissive shrug. The window blinds started shaking again.  
  
"That's all you have to say?" He took another step forward and his nose was practically resting on the top of my head.  
  
"Well," I started coyly, "it's not really what I have to say..." I looked up at him with my lips slightly parted and my eyes big. He frowned in confusion for a split second. And then comprehension dawned on his beautiful face.  
  
His hands crept round my back and his arms encircled me. We inched closer, if it was possible.  
  
"Susannah, I'm not sure what you mean..." he whispered, our eyes were locked. Mine slowly drifted to his lips. Oh how I had missed my Jesse.  
  
"Well then, I guess I'd better show you..." And I was standing on tiptoes, reaching up with my lips for his.  
  
And then they found them.  
  
And I sank down with my knees bent as Jesse held me like he never wanted to let me go.  
  
After a few minutes we slowly pulled apart and he whispered into my hair, "I'm sorry." I looked at him in bewilderment.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I'm sorry for leaving you like that. I know it wasn't your fault," I pursed my lips and looked away briefly, "and I'm sorry for the hurt I caused you."  
  
I sighed deeply.  
  
"It's alright, Jesse. Honestly. I'm sorry I haven't been entirely truthful with you," and still aren't, I added mentally. "But I didn't want to hurt you. I love you Jesse. You know that, don't you?"  
  
Jesse reached down and kissed my forehead. "Of course, _querida_," he replied. His eyes suddenly sharpened and he stared at me hard.  
  
"Where did you go, _querida_? When I went from the Father's office?" I looked down at my fluffy-socked feet. Hey, the house can get cold sometimes!  
  
"I just went to Shadowland," I said quietly. Jesse's face instantly darkened and he took a step away from me.  
  
"Susannah..." he growled but before he could continue lecturing me, I cut him off quickly.  
  
"I know I know, Jesse. Shadowland isn't a place for the likes of me, a sweet, young, innocent, living girl. It's a place for brooding, dark, dead spirits like Sean."  
  
OK, did so not mean to say his name.  
  
Jesse's scar was white.  
  
"Sean?" He said in a guttural voice.  
  
"Yeah," I squeaked, sounding even higher compared to his snarl. "Sean's gone. Basically. You know, moved on." I unconsciously scratched my cheek where he had hit me, memories flooding back. As I recalled punching him mercilessly and unflinchingly I yanked my hand away from my face and stared at my knuckles.  
  
I expected them to bloody and raw.  
  
I almost wanted them to be.  
  
"How did you get him to move on?" Jesse seemed genuinely curious. A bit wary. But curious, mainly.  
  
"Um, using my amazing powers of persuasion?" I gave a half giggle of nervousness.  
  
Jesse raised an eyebrow. "Susannah," he said in his silky voice. Now _that's_ a mighty good power or persuasion, let me tell you. I sighed and gazed dreamily at him, once again getting lost in those deep pools of loveliness that are his eyes as his arms encompassed me again.  
  
"I rammed him through one of the doors," I sighed, still gazing deeply into his soulful chocolate eyes.  
  
Jesse arms dropped from around me and he gripped my upper arms tightly.  
  
"You pushed Sean through one those doors, Susannah?" His eyes searched mine frantically and I was brought back to reality with a resounding _twang._  
  
"Um, yeah. Why? It's not that big a deal. I mean, sure, I felt _really_ bad about it afterwards, cos I didn't really intend to exorcise him in such an instant, vulgar manner. But he was being a total freak. And I kinda snapped and then there was this fight - noses got broken, things got said, bodies got flung - and then I just pushed him into his next life. Or the deep, dark abyss of hell. Whatever."  
  
"You had a fight with Sean? In Shadowland? Did he hurt you?" His questions were getting sharper and his grip tighter.  
  
Here comes protective ol' Jesse again. He probably regrets the day he ever met me. But hey! It's not my fault I'm devilishly attractive and I like kicking unworthy asses.  
  
"Well, it was more me fighting and hurting him in purgatory. He only got on shot at me and even then it was only a punch. My cheek has so fully recovered." To accentuate the recovery of my bruised cheek, I stuck my tongue into the side of it and crossed my eyes in an attempt to check it out.  
  
Jesse reached out and gripped my chin. I uncrossed my eyes to look at him with my tongue still poking my cheek out. I slowly pulled it in. Jesse's eyes wandered to my cheek.  
  
"See," I said softly, "it's fine." I searched his face for signs of emotion. Eventually Jesse's eyes returned to mine, then they moved back to my cheek.  
  
And then, to my joy of joys, they slowly wandered to my lips. I puckered them oh-so slightly and subtly. His eyes briefly met mine, almost asking for my permission.  
  
Pah, like he would ever need to ask my permission.  
  
And then he was giving me one of his famous Jesse kisses. I felt giddy with excitement, happiness, reconciliation and...ah hem, several other feelings that were raging about in my hormonal teenage body.  
  
Jesse was kissing me so gently and softly, like he was tasting something he hadn't had in so long, but had been waiting for even longer.  
  
And then he was done with the tentative tasting. Greed and want came and pushed tasting out of the window.  
  
And I felt like I was home. Where I belonged. With Jesse.  
  
His hand pressed into my lower back, pushing me closer to him. I let out a mild moan of pleasure.  
  
I guess this meant Jesse was no longer mad at me.  
  
His other hand was tenderly stroking the back off my neck and fiddling with my hair. My hands were having a fairly nice time of themselves too. First they running up his arms – very nice, strong arms. The kind of arms you wouldn't mind picking you up and carrying you to your bedroom...those kind of arms – then they were trailing down his mighty fine chest, my fingertips touching his bare skin where his shirt was open. And once they were done there, they were going back up again, this time onto his broad shoulders and curling round to the back of his neck. Where they stayed, tickling the tan, silky smooth skin.  
  
And do you know what sprang into my head the instant my fingertips sizzled when they touched his peachy-soft skin? I thought, _Damn boy, I know milk is good for the body, but how much milk have you been drinking?  
_  
I marvelled at my crudeness.  
  
For hours we stayed like that, locked close together, not breaking our kiss once. And then the door was banging open, and Dopey was marching into the house, his heavy feet plodding along the hallway.  
  
Jesse and I broke apart with small smiles tugging at our lips.  
  
And then Jesse was dematerialising, I stood for a while smiling at what had just happened, the feel of his lips still scorching mine. I felt like I had a warm bubble of content around me.  
  
"Yo, Suze, someone here to see you. God knows why." I turned round to face Dopey, still with a smile on my face.  
  
Swoosh went the smile, pop went the bubble. 


	21. Who Do You Call When You're The Ghostbus...

**A/N:** Don't worry! The story's nearly over!!! Woooo! Unfortunately I do have another story planned in my mind... MOOWHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

* * *

"Hey Suze, you feeling better?"  
  
"Aw dude, you shoulda seen it." Brad butted in before I even opened my mouth. "Man, she was barfing up _all over._ It was way gross. Huge chunks. No joke. I don't know what she'd been eating but man-"  
  
"Brad, shut the hell up," I snarled, managing to say a different four letter word to hell. I could feel a blush starting to creep up my neck. As much as I wanted to seem as unattractive to Paul as possible (sometimes), I did not want him knowing what my puke looked like.  
  
"What? I'm just sayin'-"  
  
"Do you want me to punch you?" I asked matter-of-factly, raising my eyebrow at him like he was some dumb five year old.  
  
Well...  
  
Brad scowled and stormed out the room, muttering some obscenities as he went.  
  
"Loser," I said, shaking my head. You had to pity the pathetic fool, really.  
  
Paul chuckled and looked at me. "I take it you are feeling better then?"  
  
I sighed wearily. "What do you want, Paul?"  
  
"To see if you're OK." I could feel Paul frowning. I sighed again.  
  
"Come on, let's go upstairs and get some privacy." Of course, my room would be no less private than the kitchen But I felt safer in my room. Makes no sense really, what with Paul being incapable of keeping his hands to himself in the vicinity of a bed and a girl.  
  
I trudged upstairs, mindful that Paul was copping a look at my ass as I climbed the stairs.  
  
I opened the door and stepped aside, letting him go in first. He turned so he went through the doorway sideways, his chest scraping mine. I rolled my eyes.  
  
And Paul, being Paul, went and sat straight on my bed. Earning another eye roll from me.  
  
I sat on my window seat, bringing my feet up to rest on the seat. I turned my head 90º to look at Paul, who shuffled across my bed to face me, leaning back on his elbows and surveying me coolly.  
  
I let one leg drop off the window seat and dangle off the edge, and rested my elbow on my other leg's knee, letting my hand droop down. It reminded me of when I had first met Jesse, and I smiled as a familiar warm glow spread through me.  
  
"We missed you at school today," Paul began. I snorted. He grinned and continued. "Okay, maybe it was just me. Sister Ernistine was looking for some new poor soul to torture. Apparently she was going round starting fights just to have someone to give a detention to," he shook his head. "What is the world coming to? What would Jesus say?"  
  
I laughed, "He wouldn't have time to say anything, Sister Ern would be too busy giving him a detention for wearing only a robe to school."  
  
Paul snorted and leaned forward. I coughed and looked out the window.  
  
"I have something for you Suze," said Paul in a low, mysterious voice.  
  
"Oh God, Paul, please. There are children in the house." I turned to look at him and saw him grinning widely. He slowly pulled some papers out from behind him.  
  
"Your homework. Thought you might want it."  
  
"Yeah, like I want to eat glass."  
  
"So Father D said you had a kinda breakdown?" I stared at Paul who stared back unrelenting.  
  
Remind to thank the good old Father.  
  
"Wow, tact much?" I looked back out of my window.  
  
"Was it Jesse? Has he finally ditched you and moved on?" Paul scowled and his voice was ever so slightly menacing.  
  
I scoffed.  
  
"No, Paul. As much as I hate to disappoint you, he hasn't. We just had a minor moment of...yeah. But it's all sorted now."  
  
Paul looked dubious. "Then how come you didn't go to school today?"  
  
"Because I was too busy barfing?"  
  
Paul stood up and walked over to me. I sat up a bit more.  
  
"You know, Jesse's gonna move on eventually. With or without you. You might as well just accept it."  
  
Why did Paul always have to ruin it?  
  
"Fine, whatever Paul. Now, kindly leave?" I turned to look out my window again, expecting to hear Paul's retreating steps.  
  
No such luck.  
  
"And even if he doesn't move on, do you seriously think it's gonna work? I mean, here you'll be. Alive and ageing. You'll be thirty, and he'll still be twenty. You'll be fifty five, and he'll still be twenty. You'll be eighty, your looks gone, your health gone, your spirit gone. And he'll be twenty. Still feeling lively and acting like a twenty year old."  
  
I remained silent. Truth was, I couldn't really trust myself to speak. I knew all the facts. They kept me up at night, haunting and troubling me.  
  
"And then comes the big blow-out, Suze. You'll still be mediating. And one day, a twenty year old will come for your help. A pretty, lively, twenty year girl ghost. And, what? You think Jesse will take one look at you after that? You'll be old, wrinkly, and, let's face it, not exactly Miss America. The opposite to that girl. And she'll be dead. Another plus for Jesse. You'll have wasted your whole life Suze. You could have everything, you know that? Are you seriously gonna waste that on a life of impossibility?"  
  
"Paul," I started, my voice and trembling. Though whether it was shaking with anger of tears, I couldn't tell. "Get _out _of my room."  
  
"No." He said simply. "I am not gonna let you waste your life like that. You deserve so much more. You deserve me."  
  
I snorted at that. How obnoxious could this guy get? And arrogant. And cocky. And a whole lotta other things, too.  
  
And then he kissed me.  
  
I know! I couldn't believe it either. He's busy slating my could-be life, making me feel awful, and then he kisses me!  
  
And one heck of a kiss too.  
  
He grabbed my face in both his hands and put one knee on the window seat, in between my two legs. And then he leant in, his body squashing mine with one hand on the side of my face and the other on my waist.  
  
I tried to push him off. I swear to God I tried.  
  
I mean, I had just made up with Jesse! Like I was gonna risk losing that!  
  
So whilst half kissing Paul (hey, you try to ignore the world's best kisser when he's busy doing his thang) and at the same time trying to push him off me (no wonder guys can't understand girls with all the mixed signals I was giving off to Paul at that moment), I did the one thing that seemed like a good idea to me.  
  
At the time.  
  
I called a ghost.  
  
Not the usual ghost either. Like I said, I'd just got back into Jesse's good books, I did _not_ wanna go back into the doghouse.  
  
Instead I...I...  
  
Let me just clear this up, I regret doing this.  
  
I regret it now.  
  
I regretted it the instant I called the ghost, for God's sake.  
  
But I still did it.  
  
I, Susannah Simon, swallowed my pride.  
  
Swallowed my anger.  
  
Even swallowed my murderous revenge.  
  
I called...  
  
Louisa. 


	22. Bad Idea

**Disclaimer:** I WANNA BE MEG CABOT!!! I WANNA PUBLISH BOOKS AND BE FAMOUS AND HAVE THOUSANDS OF TEENAGERS ADORE ME!!! I WANNA BE A TEEN IDOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**A/N:** Bonourno dudes and dudettes. My apologies for not updating soon but shock horror disaster struck! My laptop's hardrive broke. That's right. Broke. Deleting my hundreds of photos, movies, music, and STORIES. All my stories. All my poetry. Gone. GONE. Oh how i screamed. I kinda lost the will to live after that. My laptop is like my soul. But then, i thought, NO. I am strong. I am all woman. I can do this. But then i had EXAMS so i kinda didnt have time to write. But now i do have time. So i am writing. And finishing. So yeah.

**UnangelicHalo:** (I'm afraid you spelt stupendous amazingly rong) You kill people. In the story, i mean. Dear lordy lordy lord. Well, as long as it keeps you happy, I guess...

**kewine:** Please don't pull out your hair...

**iluvSETHCOHEN:** Everybody loves SETH COHEN. He is the purdiest little thing ever... I am afraid mon story is coming to an end soon...BUT WAIT! For I am already pondering upon the plot of another... It's only a matter of time, my dear... You are so sweet, even if you are a Jesse hater. Thank ye kindly, ma'am. (I do try my best to make the kisses a wee bit saucy, you should check out the books i read, lol. On second thoughts, don't. You would only judge me. And mock me.)

**alia:** thank you and Canada? How COOL. Do you eat lots of pancakes? Do you drink maple syrup straight from the tree?

**Nice Hayley:** Hahaha, you do make moi laugh. First it was Jesse-Jesse-Jesse then it was Paul-Paul-Paul. Shocking, foul wench!

**Oenone:** Could your name be any odder? I am glad you love my story. HAHAHA. I LOVE MY REVIEWERS.

**Chayter: **Hai hai. Bai bai. It all makes sense.

**Sma: **Do you actually mean Sma or do you mean Sam? Either way, cool name. I am going to name my piglets (children) Sam.

**Esodes08:** Do I attract the odd-named peeps or something? WHAT IS WRONG WITH A NORMAL NAME??? I totally agree, i just don't know what's got into those pesky teenagers now-a-days. She kinda regretted ditching Sean. But then again, he did kinda sexually assault her (and let's face it, who doesn't?) and, if you ask me, which you should seeing as i am the author and control my characters, Sean was a little bit...dull and clingy. I'm with you - FLUFF KICKS ASS. And did you really think i would mess up Suze and Jesse's relationship forever?? OBVIOUSLY they're gonna get back together. But...are they now? Read this chappie, your doubts are with mine...

**Lucy Lei:** I know a girl called Lucy Lei...she goes to my school...suspicious... _- puts pipe in mouth and places Sherlock hat thingy on head -_

**angelicdevil9281:** HAHHAA! I can do it and i did. Oh the power. Louisa is a weiner. Of course i wanna can her.

**Jess:** Meg Cabot says Twighlight is PROBS the last one in the series. Oh blast, here come the tears again...

* * *

"What the hell do you want, bitch?"  
  
I breathed a sigh of relief into Paul's intrusive lips. He yanked them away from my mouth, leaving it tingly, swollen, and bruised. I scowled at the back of his head, his curly locks shining like something out of a Wella advert. His hands and body were still on me and I tried to squiggle out of his spearing fingers.  
  
Only I didn't have to.  
  
That's because Louisa had flicked her eyes across the my room...and flung Paul with them.  
  
Aw, looks like our little girl's all grown up.  
  
Then her eyes flicked back to mine. I heard an "oof!" as Paul fell onto my bed. Louisa's eyes were like steel as they regarded me coolly. Her pupils were small, as if the grey color that had replaced the usual ocean blue had fogged over her pupils, pushing them back and back.  
  
"You can go now. Seriously. I really just needed you to get Paul off of me," I stood up and brushed myself down, aware of the daggers Louisa was glaring at me.  
  
"Hey!" I heard Paul object from the bed, trying to wriggle loose of Louisa's invicible iron grip.  
  
Louisa merely flipped him over so he was hovering three feet above my bedspread, facing toward it. Then she let him drop.  
  
Another muffled protest issued from his lips.  
  
Ironic, really. Paul was right where he wanted to be – on my bed – and Louisa had Paul where she wanted him – on a bed. And yet, neither of them were satisfied.  
  
Louisa pinned him to the bed with her mind and Paul's body went rigid as he was forced, straight as a plank, against my bed covers.  
  
Then she turned to me.  
  
"You are gonna pay, bitch," she growled. I raised my eyebrow speculatively. Truth be told, there was a small shaking in my boots. Something told me this wasn't gonna be easy.  
  
"You think you are so much better than me. And you know what?" She put her hands on her hips and jutted out her chin.  
  
Oh puh-lease.  
  
"I am?" I tilted my head to the side and widened my eyes in mock innocence.  
  
She flushed with anger and I swear her hair crackled.  
  
"You are so dead Susie Simon," her lip lifted in one corner along with the above nostril.  
  
Attractive.  
  
"Suze," I said slowly. "The name's Suze. S-U-Z-E. Got it, Lulu? Or you want me to give it to you one more time?"  
  
She stalked towards me with her arms outstretched. Kinda like some strange zombie-barbie.  
  
She reached me and her fingertips brushed my neck. "You are so dead, Susie."  
  
I pulled back my arm and twisted my body with it.  
  
"I guess I'm gonna have to give it to you again, huh? S!" Slam. "U." Slam. "Z." Slam. "E." Slam.  
  
Louisa span and fell to the floor.  
  
"Jesus, Simon. Remind me never to get your name wrong. Although, you do look pretty cute when you're smashing someone's-"  
  
He was cut off when his throat contracted.  
  
That's right. Contracted. As in, an invisible hand was clamped down on his throat and was slowly constricting his aqir supply.  
  
I ran to my bed and crawled next to him. He was rapidly turning a shade of magenta and his muscles were straining along his neck.  
  
I ran over to Louisa and hauled her up. "Stop it! You're killing him! Stop it!" My voice was high and frantic. And, I'm ashamed to say, I was growing a little hysterical. I shook her shoulders violently and she looked at me blankly.  
  
I heard Paul give a choke.  
  
"Please..." I whispered. My eyes pleaded with hers and I felt my grip on her arms tighten briefly then loosen, as my grip on reality went with it.  
  
And then I heard it. One of the sweetest sounds to grace my ears, ever.  
  
Paul taking a breath.  
  
I whipped round to look at Paul and saw him gulping in air hungrily. I let out a laugh and felt my knees weaken with relief. Paul was OK. He was OK. He was breathing. He was...  
  
Alive! Oh God, the joy and relief I felt swallowed, consumed my body and mind. Why I was caring so much for this, I don't know. But God, I did. Care, that is.  
  
And then I was in Shadowland.  
  
One second I was thinking I had never been so glad to hear Paul breathing in my life, then next, I was on my own all-expensise paid holiday to my least favourite place on earth.  
  
Probably my least favourite because it wasn't on earth.  
  
"Hey!" I feebly objected. I mean, here I was, knowing I would wake up with one killer of a hangover, but I don't get to party first. Talk about God having a grudge.  
  
I heard a sniffle behind me. Louisa was standing in front of one of the doors looking a little worse for wear.  
  
Blood is so not her color.  
  
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to be liked. That's all. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted someone to like me," her voice quivering and her long camel lashes were sticking together with damp.  
  
"By trying to kill them?" I blinked incredulously. Who ever told her I didn't like her in the first place? Sure, she was a pain in the ass. But that didn't mean I didn't like her! The MacDonald adverts on TV are a pain in the ass, yet, can I resist sinking my teeth into all that fat, grease, and meat?  
  
Yeah, right.  
  
Louisa flinched at my remark and a tear rolled her face, like a glass droplet of ice, falling into the blanket of fog. I stood staring at her.  
  
OK, maybe I could have been a little more compassionate towards her. She had, after all, been shot by the man she loved and, until recently, thought loved her back.  
  
But I had never openly disliked her. I just don't do chirpy. Do I look like a cheerleader to you, for pity's sake?  
  
I deal with the dead, not pompoms.  
  
"Why did you bring me here, Louisa?" I cast a wary eye over but her face remained overtly sad.  
  
"To say goodbye. To apologise. To get away from the truth."  
  
The last remark got my attention. The way she said it – in a half sigh of hurt, realisation and whist – made me stand a little straighter and quash my feelings of loathe for our surroundings. "What truth?"  
  
She gave a last sigh, a sigh so deep it seemed to come from the very dredges of her heart, bringing up any other painful memories that were nestled on the way. A sigh that showed how incomplete and empty she truly felt. Her wholeness was a façade. Her eternal verve was a shield.  
  
And she had only just realised.  
  
"The truth that no one here likes me. You don't. Paul doesn't. Harry didn't. The truth that while I was alive, I was alone. And dead, I still am," she gave a quiet hiccup of grief. "I'm unlovable." The whispered voice in which she spoke was so quiet it was as if the fog had just absorbed it to keep for itself.  
  
Louisa stared at me with wide, honest eyes. They were scared. For the first time, I was looking at Louisa. Looking into her. And I saw her loneliness and pain.  
  
"No," I said, "you're not."  
  
"Then why doesn't anyone like me?" Her voice wasn't whiny or wheedling. Her voice was bare and raw. She looked at me as if were an angel, sent by God to answer her questions. As if I were her saviour.  
  
I can barely save money, let alone a lost soul.  
  
But I gave it a go.  
  
"They do like you, Louisa. People like you. You had friends when you were alive. You had a man who loved you!" I almost gave a bitter laugh at the memory of Jesse and all the struggle I had to go through to get him.. "It wasn't your fault he deserted you. Men are like that. Commitment phobes. Scum."  
  
She gave a weak giggle and sniffed. I smiled and carried on.  
  
"If guys are anything like they are when they're watching TV as they are with girls, then we better give up now. My step-brothers are constantly changing channel when they're 'watching' TV. It's flick flick flick – pause – flick flick flick. They don't give a moment's consideration for the channel they left behind. And do you know what happens?"  
  
Louisa shook her head and gazed at me expectantly.  
  
"The remote batteries die and they're stuck watching the chick-flick marathon on HBO."  
  
Louisa snorted and giggled. I was glad Jesse hated the television. Louisa's tears had stopped flowing and her lip had stopped trembling.  
  
There was a minute of silence as I looked around, quietly pondering if one day I could come up and stick a sign post up here. "Eternal damnation – 5 miles. Heavenly peace – 1 mile" Maybe I could even stick a few signs on the doors like "Exit" or "Beware of the dog".  
  
"My parents loved me." I looked around sharply. Louisa was looking at me intently. "Definitely," she continued, defiant and sure.  
  
I just nodded. Great, Suze. Real comforting.  
  
Louisa gave a small "Hmm" of content then focused on me. She smiled warmly and held out her hand.  
  
I stared down at it as if she were offering me a toad.  
  
Then I shook it.  
  
"Bye, Suze," was all she said. And then I was blinded by an intense light, and she was gone.  
  
I shook my head, bemused. This mediating business was getting weirder and weirder. Just when I thought I was getting the hang of it, along comes a chirpy come homicidal come lonely cheerleader ghost with a split personality big enough to share among the entire of California's population.  
  
I gave a start when I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder. Then I recovered my wits about me and grabbed the offending item – the warm, large, soft offending item – and flipped it over my body. Dragging along the rest of the offending body with it for the ride.


	23. Where I Belong

**Disclaimer:** AAAARG.

**A/N:** **FINAL CHAPPIE!!!!** The ending sucks but you'll get over it. I did. Next story is a work in progress. Hehehe. It has a wee bit more of a plot.

**Nice Hayley:** Hahaha, Jesse breathing would be quite magical. But no. And "maybe you could just put them in a room together and make them breath" - what are you? High? Oh yeah, cos the pixies are gonna just swish their wands and kaPOW, they're both breathing. YOU ARE SO ODD. Keep it up ;-D

**Oenone:** My last cliffhanger....for now...

**Alia:** I think Canadians are odd. DOST THOU DAREST DISAGREE??? And i'm gonna keep you wondering on what i said. It's more fun that way. For me. I am from a walnut shell. And i floated for a thousand years inside that walknut shell before the waves found me and taught me how to talk (READ "THE THIRTEEN AND A HALF LIVES OF CAPTAIN BLUEBEAR" by Walter Moers - IT IS HILARIOUS. I laughed til i cried and got thrown out of my lesson. It is long, but amazing.) How dare you insult my name. It is a beautiful name. COWER BENEATH MY FEET! (Me real name is Emily and I'm from Oxford, England)

**Esodes08:** Manda. Hello _Manda_. Hmm. Sounds like a flower i would use in one of my potions...

**UnangelicHalo:** (burn you friend) I did indeedy almost kill Paul (burn her) but then i saved him (burn them all) and i made him live (_burn_ her) and now he is alive and fit and ready to take on the world...and Suze **(BURN YOUR FRIEND!!!) **I am contemplating buying the Rooney album. Dost thou reviewers think i should? Email me NOW or review NOW if you think i should.

**Anonymouse:** Hahaha, I'm glad you enjoyed mon story. Read my next one as there will be more Jesse-Suze-Paul stuff and more storyline. IT WILL BE MAGNIFICENT. On a certain level...

Hmm.

**Merci beaucoup to ANNA et NAOMI. You are funny people. I will dedicate my published works to you both. WOOOOO!!! **I wanna be famous...

**__**

_**ENJOY!!!!**_

* * *

"Dammit, Suze. Am I never safe when I'm near you?" Paul groaned a little as he swivelled round and sat up, rubbing his back.  
  
"Maybe if you stopped sneaking up on me..." I grumbled, stretching out my arm to help Paul up. He took my hand and gripped it – a little than necessary I thought – and I yanked him up. Turns out I used a little too much force than necessary as well. Either that, or Paul couldn't resist my new Joy perfume. Because the next thing I know, Paul's body is leaning into mine, and mine into his, and our hands are still firmly locked together, and trapped between our two bodies.  
  
I could feel his heart beating a slow, hypnotic beat as mine raced.  
  
I looked up sharply at his face and found him gazing at our hands. Then he lifted his eyes to mine. They were dark with desire. I swallowed. Hard.  
  
"Um, sorry about that. Didn't mean to...to throw you onto me. I mean, over me! You know us strong women, can't control ourselves sometimes – I mean, can't control our strength! And you did kinda scare me, sneaking up behind. Most guys prefer to be in front. When they're approaching me!"  
  
Oh God. Could I have spoken a more insinuating, suggestive speech in my life? There were more innuendos in there than in a late-night movie.  
  
Paul's eyes remained dark, but behind that dark lay something I did not want brought alive. I tried to pull my hand subtly from his grip, and failed. His long fingers gripped even tighter.  
  
I winced knowing I was probably just encouraging him. God help me.  
  
He brought a hand to the side my face and toyed with a curl of my hair, looking at it as if it were a thread of gold.  
  
"You and I are so alike, Suze. We have a way of making people do what we want," his voice was soft and his eyes focused on mine, homing in like a missile. "When we want." His hand tightened on my hair. You can't feel through hair, Suze, I kept telling myself.  
  
Then why did a shower of ice crystals rain down my spine when he tightened his grip? Why did I shiver, even with all his warmth pressed so obtrusively against me?  
  
"Wha-" I coughed to make my voice stronger. "What do you mean?"  
  
"You seemed to handle Louisa pretty well. Up here, I mean." A grin broke across his brooding features. "Not that you didn't in your room." I felt a tinge brush against my cheeks and Paul's eyebrow rose as his grin grew.  
  
"I didn't know you were watching." I hadn't seen him, and Louisa had made no indication that she had seen him.  
  
"Well I was. The endless corridor can be deceiving, sometimes." Cryptic Paul was beginning to freak me out. I knew he was trying to get me to ask him questions, so he could trick me into more lessons with him. But I wouldn't let him win.  
  
"Hmm," I agreed, nodding my head as if he'd just told me the sky was blue. "Totally."  
  
Paul stepped closer towards me and I felt a cold sweat break out along my spine.  
  
"I have to go now Paul. And so do you. What would my mum say if she came into my room and found our bodies unconscious?" I flickered my eyes across the expanse of fog and doors and darkness, anything to avoid those demon eyes.  
  
But when Paul's grip moved from my hair to my chin, cupping it and tilting my head up to his, I had no choice but to lose myself in those piercing blue eyes. Their usual azure-ice color had darkened like Louisa's had. But his weren't cold, like hers. Oh no no no. They weren't cold at all.  
  
They were housing fire. A hot, raging fire that I knew would spread through his body. His eyes were sapphire color, and they seemed to beautiful I almost got lost in them.  
  
Almost.  
  
I quickly jerked my eyes to the side, settling on looking his temple. Then the roamed the rest of his face. Across his cheekbones, down his Roman nose, zig-zagging across his lips. Then scooping up his chin and powerful jaw bone. Slowly drifting down his neck, down his pulse-line.  
  
Oh God, what was I doing! My eyes shot back to his, and then back to his chin, once I saw the fire growing behind his pupils.  
  
"Your mother won't worry when she finds us unconscious, Suze. I think she'd much rather leave us be." I frowned and stared up at him.  
  
"Wha-" But before I could finish my question, I was being affronted with blackness and a dull throb by my temples.  
  
I really wish people would ask my permission before transporting me back to hangover-land. There should be a law or something.  
  
Yeah, Suze. Could the dead and Paul are really gonna listen to some poncey rules.  
  
I slowly lifted my eyelids up and my eyes began to focus.  
  
I snapped them shut. It was just a dream. I was just a dream. It had to be just a dream. No way was I lying on top of Paul Slater, my legs straddling his waist and my lips locked between his.  
  
No way was his hand on the small of my back and on my waist. No way were my hands pressed against his chest and under his shirt, resting on his waist.  
  
No way no way no way.  
  
I tentatively opened one eye.  
  
"Morning, honey. Sleep well?" I could feel his grin as I slammed my eyelid shut.  
  
Then I opened them in wonder, wincing briefly as the light poured into my brain through my eyes.  
  
"Wait a minute. How did you manage to get me up, onto the bed, on top of you, and positioned like...this?"  
  
You had to marvel the guy, really. He worked hard at his work. Shame his work seemed to consist of torturing me.  
  
"Ha, I'm a determined man, Suze. I'll do anything to get what I want. And right now, and since the moment I laid eyes on you, and probably for the rest of my life, I want you."  
  
Aw, how cute.  
  
Not.  
  
I purposefully slid my hands from my positions on his body, but I could still feel the tingle of his warmth, the hardness of his muscle, the softness of his skin. I was disturbed at the little dip my stomach did when I lost the surprisingly large amount of warmth his body in my hands gave me.  
  
I was just relieved to get off him. That was it. That's the reason.  
  
Yeah, and I can lick my elbows.  
  
I started to lift myself of Paul, but his hands gripped my waist. The sense of déjà vu just keeps getting stronger and stronger.  
  
"Paul, the way to a woman's heart is not by forcing yourself on her," I said dryly, crossing my arms across my chest.  
  
"Good thing you're not a woman, then." I was so shocked by what he said I almost missed his playful grin and sparkling eyes.  
  
"Paul!" I gasped and thumped him playfully on the shoulder. Playfully? Me?  
  
Paul chuckled and I felt the vibrations all the up my spine. "See! You ain't no woman. You're a...you're a..." He seemed stuck on the words so I helped him out.  
  
"Babe?" Paul leaned up to a half sitting position and his grin grew. What was this guy not doing on a billboard?  
  
"You're a Suze." He said finally. Then leaned close to my ear and whispered, "But I think that pretty much covers babe, doesn't it?" I sat rigid and recollected myself.  
  
This was not a time to be getting playful! Especially not on Paul's lap. I wanted to go to heaven, okay? Not become Satan's sex monkey.  
  
"I think you should let me go now, Paul," I said calmly. I looked him in the eye and saw the heat fading. We sat in silence, and then he heaved a sigh. And let me go.  
  
I was so surprised I practically rolled off him onto the floor. Oh yeah, dignity is so my middle name.  
  
I coughed lightly and muttered, "Thank you, Paul. You may go now." Paul smirked a little and placed a hand on my arm. Goosebumps shot across my skin as if someone were sticking a thousand pins up from underneath it.  
  
"See ya, Suze," he whispered. And then walked out of my room. A few moments later I heard his car revving and his tyres skidding as he rode off into the sunset. Very much unlike the prince we all read about in fairytales.  
  
I heard some steps approaching up the stairs and to my room. There was a quick, gentle knock on my door. I flopped onto my bed and groaned into my pillow.  
  
It smelt of Paul.  
  
No sweet dreams for me tonight.  
  
"Come in," I said.  
  
It was my mom.  
  
She hopped lightly from foot to foot. She was practically buzzing with barely contained excitement. She was wringing her hands together and gazing at me hopefully. I lifted my head fully off my pillow and twizzled round on my side to look up at her properly.  
  
"Was that a...a..." I raised my eyebrow in suspense. Mom took a calming breath and did some Tai Chi movements with her hands. "A boy leaving your room?"  
  
Uh oh.  
  
"Well, yeah it was, mom. But here's the thing..."  
  
"Oh Suze! That is just great! I mean, I saw the car and I asked Brad about it and he said that the young man Paul was here," she said her name as if Paul were Elvis. "Of course I assumed he was here with Brad," she continued. I took a moment to be mortally offended, "but when he said that Paul was in your room," insert suggestive wiggle of eyebrows, "well, I just got so excited."  
  
I raised my eyebrows. How come when I had a guy round, mom was the one getting excited, and not me?  
  
"Obviously I didn't want to intrude and...interrupt." More eyebrow waggling. I guess I couldn't really blame her for getting so keyed up. I mean, boys in my bedroom are about as rare as an entertaining commercial.  
  
"Mom, nothing happened," I stared at her intently, eyebrows raised, and voice level and flat. Was hoping maybe I could convince her through my powers of telepathy that nothing really had happened.  
  
Guess I shouldn't count on it for a living.  
  
"Of course, Suze. Of course." More eyebrow waggling. I began to feel sick.  
  
"No, seriously, mom. Nothing happened. I didn't even want Paul in my room. We were just talking about...about trigonometry. He's really smart you see. And funny. So he can make learning fun!" A large smile appeared on my face. My cheeks began to hurt with the effort.  
  
"Smart?" I nodded at my mom. "Funny?" More vigorous nods. She was beginning to believe me. "Sexy?" I nodded even harder.  
  
"Exactly! So you see..." I trailed off as I realized what she had done. What I had done. Mom thought when I described Paul as smart and funny...I was complimenting him!  
  
And then the witch had tricked me! Tricked me into saying he was sexy! I am officially the daughter of a witch.  
  
But, come on. It's not like I could've denied his exuding sex appeal. My mom has eyes. And taste. And she can tell when I'm lying.  
  
I rubbed my hands in my face in defeat. "Fine. Fine! Paul is cute. There. Happy now? But nothing happened. And nothing ever will. Ever. Ever."  
  
Mom tutted and said, "Sure, Susie." And then walked out of my room. Not fast enough so I couldn't see the grin tugging at the corner of her lips, though. I growled in frustration.  
  
I pottered around my room restlessly for a while, not really knowing what to do. I had no ghosts to mediate, no Paul to defend my virtues from, and no homework. For the first time in my life, I missed homework. The reason? Having nothing to do left my mind to wander. Wander to places in my mind that I tried to lock behind impenetrable steel doors.  
  
Things like why I cared so much when I thought Paul was choking to death.  
  
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the thoughts. They were stuck there like fresh chewing gum on my new chic black sling-backs.  
  
Could it be I actually cared about the visceral boy? I mean, sure, he was mostly an amoral, one-track-minded groper. But he had his good qualities.  
  
I unconsciously turned my head to stare at my window seat. Jesse's place. Where Paul had recently tried to defile me. I shuddered.  
  
"Not cold are you, querida?"  
  
I span round and found my nose pressed up against a broad, flat chest. Jesse's arms came protectively around me. "Not anymore," I whispered. I looked up at his face and saw a small smile playing on his gorgeous lips.  
  
It was as I gazed up into his unbeatably capturing face that I realised I had nothing to worry about. So what if Paul had some good qualities? Jesse was all good qualities. And nothing would ever extricate that from my mind and heart.  
  
I examined Jesse's face and got stopped almost immediately when I found his eyes.  
  
If eyes are the window to the soul, than Jesse's soul is beautiful.  
  
And it was where I wanted to get lost for the rest of my life. 


End file.
